Wish You Were Her(67)
Ten minutes later, the driver exited the bookshop carrying a pale pink suitcase. A few reporters spotted him putting it in the trunk of the car and they began to lurk a little closer. Jonah started to truly panic when they all suddenly rushed en masse, like a flock of pigeons to a handful of seeds.
Allegra emerged from Brooks Books. And, while she always looked beautiful to Jonah, in this moment she looked every inch a movie star.
Cameras clicked and people shouted, as she walked to the backseat of the car. Her long hair was piled into a neat updo. Her oversized Valentino shades covered most of her pretty face, but her lips were a dark cherry color. She wore pink pearl drop earrings. A pair of Manolos. A simple white dress with no sleeves.
Her face gave absolutely nothing away as she opened the car door herself, shaking her head ever so slightly at the driver when he offered to do so.
Questions were barked at her but she had clearly dismissed them all. Jonah felt his heart drop in his ribs: she was about to leave. Possibly forever.
He shifted forward, almost involuntarily. As if sensing him, Allegra looked up. Her mask slipped for the tiniest moment. She tipped her shades down for a millisecond and let him see a whole world of emotion in her eyes. Apology. Appreciation. Something unnameable.
And goodbye.
Jonah felt his heart shatter. It cracked and then broke like glass.
As he watched the car pull away, the press momentarily wilted and sighed as a group—as if someone had thrown cold water over them. But then, before Jonah was able to make his own escape, he watched realization spark on one reporter’s face.
“Hey! Jonah?”
Jonah didn’t know what to do. He wondered if anyone had ever sat Allegra down and taught her how to handle this strange intrusion. He set off toward the festival site. Then stopped. He couldn’t lead this mob to his place of work.
“Jonah, have the two of you called off your relationship? Will you still be friends? Did you get to say goodbye?”
Jonah felt the cold, grasping anxiety of being chased. Corners and blockades felt more intense and he wasn’t sure of where to run. He knew Allegra needed him to be silent.
He made for the Arthouse.
Grace Lancaster was behind the cinema bar and, on seeing Jonah, she immediately sprang into action. She ushered him into the back of the theater, where the family’s private apartment was, and shut out the press with a firm snick.
“They’re such vultures,” she said as Jonah caught his breath.
Jonah sat down at the kitchen table in the middle of the room. He looked at the walls, all covered with pictures of the Lancaster family. Drawings that Grace had made as a girl. It was a home, completely made of memories.
Jonah wondered how it must feel to be part of a large family, rather than one of two.
“I’m never going to see her again.” Jonah said the words lifelessly. “Well. That’s not exactly true. I can watch her on the screen, like everybody else.”
Grace sat across from him, frowning in an unusually stoic manner. “Did she say that?”
Jonah glanced over at her. “Not exactly. But leaving Lake Pristine without saying goodbye doesn’t exactly fill me with hope.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Start telling yourself a story about what someone else is feeling.”
Jonah winced. “Ouch.”
“Unless she’s told you she doesn’t want to see you again, don’t start telling yourself that you know what she feels.”
Jonah glanced away, unable to meet her stare because it felt like an X-ray. “I don’t want to be that guy, Gracie.”
“What guy?” she asked, crossing her arms and softening slightly.
“The one that can’t take a hint. The one that pushes and makes things weird.”
“Sure, but you also don’t want to be the guy that churlishly pushes her away. Believe me.”
“There’s no way to push. She’s gone. It’s done.”
“Jasper has her phone number; she’s working with her on her new apartment. She told me over breakfast. She’ll be your go-between. If Allegra wants to talk to you, she will. But table that for now. Are you okay?”
Jonah was surprised by the question. It wasn’t one he heard very regularly. “I’m … fine.”
“Sure?”
“It’s not the best feeling. Knowing those pictures are out there. Middle-aged men have been giving me approving looks all morning and it makes me feel ill. Knowing what people are trying to say about Allegra.”
“Can I say one more thing?”
“Yes.”
“We could all see how much you two were feeling for each other. You were doing that weird dance thing. The kind two people do when they’re getting up to stuff in private, but don’t know how to label it. And, no offense, but judging by those photos, you two communicate perfectly well in one respect. So … just do the whole thing. Tell her. Use your words.”
“Well, that’s always been the problem. Fine with writing things down. Terrible with speaking.”
“So, write it down,” she said, smiling softly. “I feel very confident that she would like your writing.”
* * *
As they’d agreed, Natalie was seated in the backseat of the black Mercedes that had arrived to pick up Allegra. As she closed the door behind her, Allegra smiled sadly at her publicist. They sat side by side for a few minutes, waiting for the car to pull out of Lake Pristine. Allegra threw a look behind her to gaze out of the back window. No one was following them.