With Love, from Cold World(92)
Like the last day of work before she’d be off for the holidays, he came into the break room while she was fixing her usual cup of coffee, doing a double take like he hadn’t expected to see her there. Which, of course, was a laugh since she made her first cup of coffee at practically the same time every day, whereas he wasn’t even supposed to be on shift for another hour. Sonia had arrived early, too, and was eating her fast-food breakfast while reading one of the romance novels Lauren—Asa, really—had gotten her for Secret Santa.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully to both of them, resting his hand lightly at the small of Lauren’s back while he reached around her for one of the K-cups. It was an innocent enough touch, lingering only a half second longer than would’ve been appropriate between two colleagues. But the problem was the immediate ache it put in Lauren’s lower stomach, the way it made her want him to linger.
From the side smirk he gave her at the coffee machine, he knew exactly what effect he’d had on her. “You look like you’re having a particularly good morning,” he said. “You’re practically glowing.”
She wanted to hit him. It had been less than an hour ago that she’d had his fingers inside her, his mouth around her taut, slick nipple as he urged her to come in the shower.
“You really are,” Sonia said from the table. “It’s a very I’ll have what she’s having type of look, unless you’re coming down with something, in which case no thank you.”
“I guess I’m just excited about Christmas,” Lauren said, and immediately couldn’t believe that was what she’d gone with. She’d have been better off just copping to a flu like Sonia had suggested.
“Are you doing anything fun?” Sonia asked. “Spending it with family?”
“Oh, um.” Lauren’s gaze slid to Asa’s, but he was just leaning back against the counter, watching her like he was as interested in her answer as Sonia. They hadn’t expressly discussed the upcoming holiday, whether they would spend it together. But the night before, she’d been sitting up in bed, trying to read her library book, with Asa lying with his head on her lap while he teased her about how she called reading a hobby but was treating it more like homework and tried to get her to skip ahead to the “salacious bits” and read them aloud.
“This was short-listed for the Booker prize,” she had said primly.
He’d snorted. “I bet it would’ve won if it had more salacious bits.” She’d felt the bed vibrate, and he reached into his pocket for his phone, pulling it out and frowning at the screen until she set the book down on her chest.
“What is it?”
“My mom,” he’d said.
For a minute he hadn’t said anything else, and even though Lauren had been dying to know more—What does she want? What did she say?— she’d threaded her fingers in his hair, waiting patiently for him to tell her.
“There’s this fancy tea place, and she wants to know if I want to meet her for Christmas Eve tea?” He’d said it like a question. “She put in a lot of details about the scones and mulled wine. There’s even a screenshot of the menu.”
“Do you want to go?”
“It looks fucking delicious,” he’d said.
“Of course it does. It’s scones. But do you want to see your mom?”
He’d tapped on the screen, zooming in on what looked like a pink filigreed invitation straight out of a Jane Austen novel. She’d expected more commentary on the menu, some funny observation or rant about the prices, because she was sure a place like that would be expensive. She knew Asa well enough by now to know that humor was one way he dealt with stress, and sometimes the higher the stakes the more he joked his way through it.
He’d turned his head so he was looking at her, and for a moment there’d been something in his eyes that almost took her breath away. It had felt like . . . but she didn’t even want to put words to it, the way you weren’t supposed to speak a birthday wish aloud.
“I’m not ready,” he’d said finally. “I know it’s the time of year when you should reunite with family . . . I tear up at the end of Home Alone when the old man picks up his granddaughter, just like anyone else. But I’m not ready to do this yet.”
“Okay,” she’d said. “Then the scones can wait.”
From that conversation, Lauren knew that Asa’s usual Christmas tradition was to hang out with John and Kiki at home, since neither of them went home for the holidays, either, for reasons Lauren didn’t pry into. Elliot seemed to be the only one who had family relatively nearby and who was still on good terms with them, so Asa said that they were usually around before or after but not on the actual day.
He hadn’t expressly invited her to join them, and even though Lauren knew she was probably welcome, she hated the idea of being the needy, friendless person who hitched onto someone else’s plans. Maybe it would be better if she disinvited herself before the topic even came up.
“I’m actually going out of town,” she said finally, grabbing a stirrer for her coffee to avoid having to make eye contact with either Sonia or Asa.
“You are?” Asa’s voice was pitched a little higher than mere interest, sounding closer to surprise, and Lauren glanced at Sonia to see if she’d noticed. The woman had set aside her romance novel, her focus completely on the conversation, and Lauren wished she could tell her she needn’t bother. The sooner she was out of this situation, the better.