You've Found Oliver (You've Reached Sam, #2)(9)

Out of habit, I scroll through all the messages I’ve sent him. Paragraphs upon paragraphs with no response. I know this can’t go on forever, but there’s something comforting about it. I’ve managed to keep this a secret from everyone. I haven’t even told Julie about it. I wonder what she would say if she found out. “It’s time to let him go, Oliver. Sam would want that for us.”

Sometimes, it feels like everyone else has moved on with their lives. They even took down the picture of him on our school’s website. Meanwhile, his things are everywhere in my room, covering it like handprints. His plaid shirt on the back of my desk chair. The photo of us on the edge of my mirror. Tomorrow will be exactly one year since his accident. I’d promised myself the messages would have stopped by now. That I would finally say goodbye.

But I don’t know if I’m ready to give this up yet. After thinking it over, I decide to write to him one last time. Give him a proper goodbye.

I’m sure you noticed I’ve been texting you more recently



Maybe you already guessed why



It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since you died. It feels weird to even write it out. I don’t think I’ve said the words out loud yet



Some days have been harder than others. Writing these texts helps me forget you’re gone. But it’s starting to feel like I’m talking to myself. That you’re not reading them anymore



You know, Julie keeps telling me you’d want us to move on. I’m sure she’s right. In a different universe, I never lost you. Sadly that’s not the one I’m living in



I think about you every second



But it’s time to let you go



So this will probably be the last message from me



Goodbye Sam



Sorry it took me a year to say this



I’ll miss you more than you know



I read over the final message before hitting send.

I should delete his number, too. Otherwise I’ll end up texting him again in a moment of weakness. I pull up Sam’s contact information. As I press the delete button, a prompt appears on my screen with his name in bold letters.

Are you sure you want to delete Sam Obayashi?

My finger hesitates over the screen. This is somehow harder than I imagined. Sam is already gone, I remind myself. It’s only a number on my phone. So just delete it already.

But I can’t seem to press the button. It feels like I’m erasing him from my life. And I can’t do that to him. So I hit cancel instead.

That’s when I hear something. A ringing coming from the phone. I must have accidently called the number. I should probably end the call. For some reason, I let it continue. Maybe it will go to his voicemail. Should I leave him one last goodbye message?

Suddenly, someone answers the phone.

“Hello?” says a male voice.

Time goes still for a moment. I must have imagined that, right? Because it couldn’t be…

“Sam?”





Chapter

Two



There’s a silence before the voice answers.

“No…This isn’t him.”

My heart drops, realizing the mistake. “Sorry, wrong number—”

I hang up immediately. My hands are shaking as I shoot up from the bed. What’s wrong with you? Of course that wasn’t Sam. I should have known his number would have been given to someone else by now. I swear, I’m losing my head. As I’m pacing the room, trying to collect myself, I get a text message notification. It’s from Sam’s number.

I’m sorry about your friend



I stare at the message, confused. How does he know about Sam? I’m about to freak out when it suddenly hits me. All the messages I’ve been sending. This stranger must have been reading them the whole time. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. Those messages were never meant for anyone else to see. I should just block his number, delete the messages, and pretend none of this happened. He probably thinks I’m some crazy person. Maybe I should just explain myself.

Sorry for all the text messages. I didn’t realize someone else had this number



I won’t bother you again



I think that’s the end of it. But I get a text back, almost instantly.

Don’t worry about it



Sam sounds like he was a great guy



I can’t believe how much this stranger knows about me. I’m so embarrassed of this. I shouldn’t respond again, but I can’t help myself.

yeah he was



I didn’t mean to call you btw. It was an accident



No worries. I was surprised to see your call



I was surprised someone picked up



I can imagine lol



This makes me smile a little. At least he has a sense of humor. I send him another text.

How long have you had this number? If you don’t mind me asking



since last summer



That was over seven months ago. How many texts of mine has he read? It must have been hundreds at this point. I think back to all the things I’ve said. I’ve been talking to Sam as if he was still alive. Wishing him happy birthday. Telling him how much I miss him. All the words I never got to say in person.