“Sure.” I shrugged.
“Good.” She walked over to one screen and grabbed my arm to pull me over with her. Then she handed me the can.
“I personally think you should write coward on them. He’s being a baby and isn’t sure how to handle his love for you, but he’s been a complete dick, so it might be a good idea to write that on there.”
The woman was a little off. Maybe even a lot off. But I liked her.
I liked her a lot. And I smiled the whole time I wrote dick on each one of his screens. Vick applauded me and told me she’d take care of her husband and I should come to work every day I wanted to.
So for the remainder of that week, I worked alongside my team.
For every day I was in the office, candy canes and subs were delivered. It was always paid for at the same time and without a note. The team rejoiced, saying they knew it was Cade.
I got madder.
The next week, I still couldn’t get through to him on the phone. I couldn’t see him at work because he never came to the office. And when I checked my bank account one night, I saw extra zeros behind my balance. More zeros than I’d ever seen in my life.
I called him again. No answer.
I couldn’t even track his location because he blocked me every time I tried to hack something that led me to his IP address, which proved to me that he was alive, which pissed me off more.
But I felt my fury this time. I felt it with every bone in my body.
He’d made love to me the night after rescuing me. He’d told me I held the power, and I felt it.
Felt how it swallowed me up and consumed me.
I probably went a little crazy. In all fairness, he’d told me to embrace every emotion, and I really had. Lucas told me I looked deranged during that second and third week.
By the fourth, I’d snapped at just about everyone, and then went home to wallow in the pain of being mad at him but missing him too.
Gerald continued texting me and hounding me for one meeting even if it would be our last. He seemed desperate and willing to take whatever he could get from me. I agreed mostly just to spite Cade. I’d give Gerald the closure that Cade wasn’t giving me at all.
The day was beautiful, the late fall breeze blew into the windows I’d opened, and the trees rustled with their last lingering leaves as the sun shined through the shade right into my penthouse. I texted Gerald the address and told him to make his way over.
But guess who showed up ten minutes later?
He didn’t even knock. He had a fucking key and unlocked the door to walk right in.
I didn’t move from the cozy furniture that had been placed there for me before I moved in. “Get out, Cade,” I murmured without looking up from my phone.
I heard him walk over and sit down in the leather chair across from the couch. I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t. I’d mourned the man for a month, even though he wasn’t dead. But the loss of him leaving me for no reason felt the same as if he had.
“I’ll say it again, and calmly, one last time. Please leave. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Well, we don’t have to talk,” he said casually, as if it was completely normal for him to stroll into my home after vanishing on me weeks ago.
“Get the fuck out,” I screamed and threw my phone before whipping my head up to see him. I gasped at his appearance. He was thinner, with dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t been sleeping, but he looked just as formidable, maybe even more so. And he didn’t move a muscle or flinch when I screamed.
I pushed up from the couch and stomped toward him, my wrath radiating off me. I felt the heat, the pain, the waves of vitriol running through my head. There was so much I wanted to spew at him. “Did you hear me?”
He frowned at me without moving a single inch. I could see love and remorse in his gaze, but I hated it now.
The only feeling I would have died for a month ago, I now wanted nothing to do with. The hole he’d made in my heart was cavernous. So dark I couldn’t find a step to stand on to save me, to help me climb out. I’d instead dug a hole in it and made a home. I was staying there. Staying away from him.
“I don’t want you here. I don’t want to see your face. I don’t want to hear your voice. Or feel your goddamn presence. Or smell your fucking smell!” My voice shook. “Get out.”
“Izzy, I think I’m going to stay,” he said as if he’d considered all options and this was his best bet.
“Gerald’s coming here.” I threw up my hands. “Gerald’s coming to say sorry and take me out for a drink. Can you imagine . . . a sorry?”
“Seems a bit ridiculous,” he had the audacity to say.
“You would think so, considering you can send a million dozen roses and not ever utter an apology to me.”
“What would I be sorry for?” he inquired, and I considered whether I could choke him out and win the fight with the rage that pumped through my veins.
“Do you really want to be here when he comes? He was hurt by your text. Not that it really matters. He can be hurt all he wants, but he’s also mad. For all I know, honestly, he might punch you. Quite frankly, I hope he does,” I threw out, trying to get him to leave. God, I was childish.
“I hope he does too.” Cade smiled at me, like he wanted to unleash something. And my body instantly buzzed to life.
I spun around, furious that I still reacted to him at all. I knew this wasn’t right. I hated how much I loved him. How much I always would. “I’m trying here, Cade. I’m moving on like you told me to.”
“I didn’t tell you that. I said to give it some time,” he murmured.
“Yes. And we can all assume—”
“Do you always assume things, Izzy? Because I never told you I hated you when we first met either, but you imagined that too.”
“Cade,” I took a deep breath in warning and paced away from him toward the kitchen. He got up to follow and leaned his hip on the counter as I pointed a finger at him. “You told me to move on.”
“But neither of us can.”
Those five words, said with such conviction, had me turning around like the girl from The Exorcist. If my head could have spun a full 360 degrees, it would have. Instead, on one heel, I made that turn, so slow and full of fury that I knew he’d better listen. “Take it back right now, Cade Armanelli. I am moving on.”
“Shit, baby.” He cracked his knuckles as he looked me up and down. “You look more pissed than I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen you pretty mad. I’m trying not to be turned on, but don’t come near me or I’ll fold.”
The fact that he hadn’t answered my calls and had ignored my voicemails, then waltzed in here like nothing was wrong, had me seeing a red so bright I might have been blinded by it.
“You’ll— Are you kidding me right now?” I stopped, not willing to walk any closer. I couldn’t risk my heart wanting him when my mind knew better.
But both of us halted when there was a knock at the door. I was about to brush past Cade to answer it, but he grabbed my arm to say in a low voice, “I’ll be nice if I have to, Izzy, but I can only take so much.”
I ripped my arm from his grasp and glared at him. “You’ll take whatever I want—even if it means Gerald and I getting back together—considering we’re not even dating.”