My back curves up to the ceiling as he seats himself to the hilt inside of me.
He leans forward, pressing his weight into me. “You know what you feel like?” There is a slight tremble to his voice.
I shake my head.
“You feel like home.” He retreats, only to slam into me again. “Like I spent the last six years lost with no way of being able to return. As if I was stuck in an endless night with no light to help guide me back to you.” He lifts me higher this time, changing his angle as he slides in slower this time, drawing out our pleasure.
My legs tighten around his body, tugging him forward until he hovers over me again.
Whatever control Cal had over the situation snaps as he throws my legs over his shoulders and drives himself inside me with enough power to push me backward. I grasp the comforter and take his thrusts.
Pleasure builds, my orgasm slowly rising like the beginnings of a wave. I want to give in but the urge to hold out has me fighting back the pressure building in my lower belly. Cal takes my lack of orgasm as a challenge. His thrusts deepen, stealing my breath away with every single push.
When he catches me slipping backward, he pulls me back and wraps his fingers around my throat, holding me in place as he drives into me with abandon.
Shit. He fucks like a man on the brink of madness.
“Cal,” I rasp.
“Say my name like that again.” His hand around my neck tightens.
“Cal.” I gasp as his cock brushes against the sensitive spot inside me. He repeats the same move, and my back arches as if pulled by a string.
My legs hanging over his shoulders tremble as I explode.
Cal doesn’t stop thrusting until another orgasm builds inside of me. This time, he follows soon after me, his body shuddering from his release. His pumps become shallower, his movements jerkier as he rides his orgasm until the end.
He collapses against me, driving us both deeper into the mattress. I brush through the slick strands of his hair with my fingers.
He presses a chaste kiss against my skin. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Then become the man who does.”
39
CAL
I run my hands through Lana’s hair. She always loved when I would play with the strands until she fell asleep. My own eyes begin to droop, post-sex drowsiness trying to pull me under.
Time to go.
I’m not ready to leave, although I know I’m going to have to. It’s inevitable with Cami in the house.
“I should go before I fall asleep.” My fingers run down her back, tracing the goose bumps breaking out across her skin. She snuggles deeper into my chest and throws her leg over mine.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she grumbles against my skin.
I chuckle and drop a soft kiss on the top of her head, earning a sweet sigh from her. “I know, but I doubt you want to wake up in the morning to Cami asking you a hundred questions about us.”
She flinches against me.
This is exactly why you need to leave.
Because no matter what has changed between us, Lana will always protect her daughter first, even if it means hiding what we are until she trusts me fully.
“It’s not that I’m ashamed…” Her voice trails off.
“I get it.” And with me leaving to rehab soon, it’s probably for the best. I have every intention of coming back, but Cami won’t understand.
She releases a heavy sigh. “She was so excited about Victor.”
I wince and my hands remain frozen against her back.
Lana traces an invisible pattern against my chest. “I was careful at first and didn’t have them meet until I was sure he and I were serious.”
The only thing keeping me from slipping away is her soft touch teasing my skin and my growing curiosity at what happened.
“He pressured me into meeting her. That should have been the first sign of many that he wasn’t a good match, but I felt so damn lonely and was scared of losing the one person who made me feel a fraction of what we had.” Her voice cracks, and my arms tighten around her.
I release a heavy sigh.
It’s only right you listen to every word since you’re the one who drove her into this situation in the first place.
I’m an expert at self-inflicted torture, so I can handle one uncomfortable conversation.
“In the beginning, things were good. Cami was happy with him. Even asked me a few times if we were going to get married, although she stopped asking after the first time he babysat her.” Her voice wavers.
I press her tighter against my chest. “You didn’t know.”
She peeks up at me with glassy eyes. “Shouldn’t I have, though? She’s my kid. I’m supposed to know every little thing about her, yet I couldn’t even notice that.”
“He was an asshole.”
“I know that now, but I missed the signs. It wasn’t until she timidly asked me if he would become her daddy that I finally started putting things together.”
My lungs stall, and a hot spike of pain shoots through my chest. I don’t speak in fear of my voice giving me away.
I wished you can be my new daddy.
Did she wish the same about Victor?
Lana continues, unaware of the shift in my mood. “When I questioned her about it, she told me she would rather not have a daddy at all. It was the first warning sign that I actually listened to. Because my girl is a romantic through and through, ever since she watched her first Dreamland princess movie. She even wrote letters to Santa asking for a daddy, only to be disappointed when her search under the tree came up empty.”
A laugh explodes out of me, followed by relief.
She didn’t want Victor to be her dad.
She wanted you.
It’s terrifying yet empowering all at the same time.
A small smile teases Lana’s lips. “One year I had to write a fake letter from Santa to let her know that he can only deliver toys, not people.”
My chest shakes with silent laughter. “A shame.”
“A shame indeed, until she took it up with the next best person.”
“Who?”
“The Easter Bunny.”
My head shakes. “She is the cutest kid ever.”
She sinks into me, her body melting against mine. “I think so, but it’s nice to hear it from someone unbiased.”
I chuckle. “Oh, I was biased the day she hustled me out of six hundred bucks.”
“You didn’t stand a chance, did you?”
“Looks like Castillo women are my one weakness.”
“Only the one?” She grins.
I kiss the stupid smile off her face. She reciprocates, matching my fire with one of her own. I’m not sure how I survived six years without this. Without her. The way I feel around Lana makes the whole world pale in comparison. Like I’ve been stuck living my life in black-and-white, only to have it switched to color.
I’m not sure I can go back to a life without her.
You won’t have to.
So long as I commit to working on myself, I can have Lana forever.
Just like you were meant to.
I pour everything I feel into my kiss. Desire. Love. Hope.
Lana wraps her arms around me and tugs me closer. Everything about us feels right. Like two halves of a puzzle finally joined.
I’m desperate to keep the connection going for as long as I can. I tease, suck, and kiss every inch of her body until she is writhing beneath me, chanting my name with desperation.