Oh my God, maybe Nick Farnum is out there in the world wondering if we are still together? The stupid thought makes me laugh out loud for the first time in nearly a week. I wonder if Meyer knew it would. If he realized that laughter is always the safest channel for me to communicate freely through?
Day six is a typical Los Angeles October day. Unseasonably warm; pool weather. I bought Meyer and Hazel抯 former condo for a screaming deal when he bought their new house, the pool being one of the major selling points. The average age in the complex is, at minimum, 75, so the pool feels like my own private one more days than not.
I do my laps, mentally charting how I need to call Meyer and apologize for acting like this. It抯 for me that he even agreed. It抯 for a major tour. One that will be filmed, that might even end up on its own special. Plus, he already made it clear that we will have a whole outline, a clear and effective approach. I know that Meyer is too good, too balanced, and too intelligent to do anything that would put either of our careers at risk. The only base we need to cover is our friendship, and me hiding out for days certainly isn抰 doing that any favors.
I break the surface on a gasp, anxious to get to my phone and rectify the situation. I hit call and start biting my nails, feeling inexplicably on the verge of tears. It starts ringing, and there抯 an echo梠r rather, I hear a secondary ringing. When I turn toward it, I spot Meyer, hanging on the outside of the pool gate with his phone dangling casually from his hand. He tips his head in a nod at me, and I sigh in relief.
揑 was just calling to apologize!?I yell out.
He crosses his arms. Waits.
揑抦 sorry!?I call, still hovering on the other side of the pool.
His arms stay folded. The only indication that he抯 heard me is that his chin dips to his neck and pauses before he looks back up in my direction.
I begin my plank walk over his way, continuing down my verbal spiral.
揑 just got a little freaked out. I know this is big. And I feel bad that you抮e even doing this for me when you抳e already done so much?
搮 I also worry about Hazel. But I know that it抯 not even really my place to worry about her. I know you抳e got her covered, of course you do厰
I reach the gate and hazard meeting his gaze, only to find a stricken and horrified look.
揥hat?!?I yelp.
揥hat in the?your swimsuit??He says, shaking his head.
揙h!?I look down at the one piece with the hairy nipples and beer belly printed on it. 揑 got this because I kept catching Arthur in 14D staring at me while I swim.?I smile, proud of my ingenuity. 揘o feet for free and all that.?
He shakes his head with a sigh. 揑f anything, you now owe Arthur and I reparations, Farley.?
I pull up my palm and pretend to write on it. 揇ully noted. Must show boobs in bikini for the period of three months as compensation for damages to spank-banks incurred.?
揂lways with the last joke.?One side of his mouth turns up. 揧ou letting me in or what??
揙ops. Duh.?
As soon as I let him in, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his shorts.
揂nd Farley, I抣l forgive you just about anything if you talk to me about it. Just don抰 disappear on me.?
揑 know. It was stupid of me. I抦 sorry.?
揧ou抮e forgiven.?
I turn and lead him over to my lounge chair. 揅hrist. The thing has back hair and an ass crack, Jones!?
I laugh and do a little wiggle.
We lounge in the sun quietly for a bit, and I revel in the peace. Meyer抯 the only person I抳e ever been able to maintain this comfortable silence with. With everyone else it always feels?expectant. Which might just be my own projections, but nevertheless, I always feel like I need to do or say something for a laugh with everyone else. I always feel on.
揧ou ready for tomorrow night??he asks.
揧ep. Sold out again like last week??
揧ep. Clay and Kara want to meet on Sunday to go over your contract. Obviously, our little arrangement is more of an informal understanding, but Clay called to tell me that there will be some separate paperwork for that, too.?
揥hat抯 it going to say? 慉t minimum, we expect to get these photos of you guys?grab-assin?on these such occasions??I laugh.
揑f that抯 the case, we抣l need to negotiate pay or make sure it抯 you that抯 required to do the actual grabbing. I抦 scarred and traumatized by this thing.?He gestures down the length of my swimsuit. 揑t really doesn抰 help that it抯 exactly your flesh tone.?
I laugh at his annoyed pout. 揝o. We抳e covered the main work points. You mentioned something about guidelines??
揑 did. I think it goes without saying that while we抮e doing this publicly, we uhhh, shouldn抰 be dating other people.?
揂w. I抣l break the news to my harem.?I pout when he turns his stern gaze on me. 揙bviously, I抦 kidding. That抯 easy enough. For me, I mean. I have shockingly few prospects for a woman who openly tells a sexy tale about the time I puked in my purse and carried it around all night.?I sigh mournfully.
揧eah, who抯 not into that,?he deadpans.
揜ight? What about you??I ask, keeping my eyes closed and facing the sun instead of making eye contact.
揥hat about me??
揑 mean, are you going to be okay keeping yourself off the meat market for the time being??
揑抣l be just fine, Jones. The other rule I think we need to stick to is avoiding the internet drivel. Do what you gotta do in terms of promo stuff, but don抰 read the articles that will inevitably have shit wrong, don抰 look at the pictures floating around. We抣l do the?things, but let抯 avoid that side of it all, please.?He looks down at his hands and tugs at a piece of a blister there. 揑f you cave and do, just?don抰 tell me. I don抰 want to acknowledge that part if that抯 okay??
揙f course, Meyer,?I say quietly. He nods in thanks.
揥hat else did you want to talk to me about? About after the tour??I ask.
揙h. No. Nothing. That was just me trying to get you to call me back,?he shrugs, oddly?a quick yank of his shoulders. I mimic the gesture, not buying it.
揙h. Okay??
揂nyway, I have another thought. And I抦 going to need you to put on your grownup hat for this one,?he says.
揃ut that hat clashes with this swimsuit.?I pout.
揓ones,?he warns.
揋ot it.?I mime placing a hat on my head. And then I cut him off before he can speak. 揙h my God. Are you going to ask me to practice??
揢hhh厰 He blinks slowly and flicks his sunglasses back on.
I blink slowly back and do the same.
He clears his throat. 揑 don抰 think I was going to refer to it as practice, per se. I just would like to know what you抮e comfortable with. I want to know where the lines are drawn here. I抦 not okay with putting you in any kind of position where you抮e even slightly less than comfortable.?
I swallow. 揟hat抯 very卌onsiderate of you.?Thank God we are both wearing sunglasses now. Otherwise, I抦 certain he could see the back of my skull through my eyes because my brain has vacated the premises.
揟his conversation is not exactly cozy for me either, Fee, but let抯 get it done. Even if it抯 pretend, I need to know it抯 consensual,?he sighs.
揓esus. Please don抰 say consensual again.?
He slaps his palms on his thighs and gets up to leave.
揑抦 sorry!?
揝top apologizing. Just call me when you抮e ready to talk.?
I scramble up to go after him, the slap-slap of my flip flops matching the pounding of my heart.
揥ait. I抦 ready now. Let抯 talk now.?I grab his upper arms to stall him.
He turns, and my hands fall to my sides.