Then we order in again for lunch. Again for a second lunch.
I wake up from an evening nap on Meyer抯 chest to find him smiling down at me, hair wild. The sunset casts an orange and blue glow through the room as he traces a circle around one of my nipples.
揧ou抮e going to end me.?He mutters.
揗e? You抮e the one who wanted that fourth helping.?I say, even as my thigh creeps up his, even though I抦 content down to my bones.
揂re you sore??He asks with a little frown, his hand coming up to trace a knuckle down my cheek. The sensitive one that抯 just barely swollen.
揚erfectly.?I grin.
He suppresses a satisfied grin, lifts a brow archly. 揑 didn抰 mean like that.?
揑 know. But no, I抦 fine. More than fine.?Every muscle in my body wants to sing in happiness.
揂re you hungry??
I shake my head. 揇id you sleep??I ask.
He shakes his head. 揇o you want to go out anywhere??
揘ot tonight, if that抯 okay. I want to play a game.?
He smiles lopsidedly. 揂lright.?
揜oll over,?I command. His brow lifts but he obeys, pinching a tender nipple playfully before he slides out from under me.
He lays on his stomach, tucking a pillow and his forearms under his head and treating me to an unobstructed view of his strong back, the perfect mound of his ass. I indulge myself with something I抳e thought about doing countless times and bite the apple, drawing a quick yelp out of him. 揝orry, sorry. Had to be done. For science.?
揑抣l get you back later,?he says, side-eyeing me with a wicked smile.
I straddle his hips, planting myself against the curve of his lower back. He sucks in a breath through his teeth. 揑 don抰 know how long I can play this,?he says darkly.
揥hy? Am I hurting you??
揑 can feel everything, Fee. All of you.?
I laugh, but won抰 be distracted. 揑抦 going to trace things on your back and you have to guess what I抦 drawing, okay??
He grunts.
I trace a circle with spiked rays around it.
揟he sun,?he immediately says.
揙kay that was too easy. Try this.?I trace another shape, curling down at the handle.
揊ee, I literally have an umbrella tattooed on my body already, of course I know what that is.?
揊ine. How about this??I trace a series of clouds, poking my fingers all around to indicate rain drops.
揜ain and clouds. Now can I roll over and sit you on my face??
揙ne more thing.?
I hold my hand in the shape and press it against a spot on his skin. If I could sink it through him it would push directly into his heart.
I see the side of his brow twitch, an unsure look passing across it. He curls his neck up as much as the angle allows and searches my face.
When he notes the tears in my eyes he flips around and sits up, gathers me to his lap before he snatches the hand that still holds its sign. He presses it to his lips.
揑 love you, Meyer. I think I knew I was going to love you from that first day I watched you stomp in puddles with a gaggle of seven year old girls. I love you for the man you are, the father you are, and the friend you抳e been to me. I was so lonely before I found you guys, too.?
His own eyes grow misty and he presses his own sign into my chest.
揑 love you, too, Fee.?
31
NOW
MEYER
Our hotel room looks like a deserted island that we抳e been marooned on. Two days later a sheet hangs draped from the corner of the tv, across the desk and a nearby chair. A makeshift shelter littered with discarded clothes and towels underneath, washed up from rounds of crashing into each other.
I think I threw the sheet during a particularly enthusiastic tumble, when we got tangled and twisted up in it until we fell off the bed, finishing on the floor as soon as I freed us from the obstruction. I抦 pretty sure that抯 also when I earned the little rug burn souvenirs that adorn my knees, come to think of it.
Sometimes I feel desperate. Like each satiated moment makes the next one feel more urgent. Like if I don抰 get inside her again and tell her, press my lips between her delicate shoulder blades with her hair wrapped snuggly around my fist, she might slip through my fingers. I think it must be the same for her, too. Like yesterday, when we left for the gym and made it ten minutes working out across from each other in the tiny hotel exercise room before we bolted back upstairs. Or later that afternoon when she came back from doing yoga on her own梙aving learned our lesson as far as that抯 concerned. I couldn抰 stop myself from tidying up a bit while she was gone; made the bed, showered. Sat down with a book that I got lost in until she walked through the door, tossed her key on the dresser and planted a hand on her hip.
揟his is going to be a problem for us, My,?she抎 declared, sounding exasperated.
I looked around the room in a mild panic. Was she irritated at me for tidying? Annoyed that I was sitting naked on the chair? I had showered?揥hat??
揑 was unaware that you wore glasses,?she said, and I moved to take them off with a laugh, assuming she was about to give me shit for my age. 揘o,?she shook her head slowly, eyes heating. 揔eep them on.?And then she peeled off every stitch of her clothes before she strutted my way, my clean-up work undone soon after.
I make the bed again now while Fee gets ready for dinner, but don抰 bother with the sheet this time. It weirdly embellishes the room and makes it feel more homey, I decide.
I spy on her reflection in the mirrored closet doors while she bops around the bathroom. She spins herself up in her hair dryer cord precariously while she sings along to some happy tune playing through the speaker, smiling to herself.
揌ey My!?she calls out. 揑 was looking at the tour schedule and Hazel抯 off track again when we抮e in Florida! I was thinking we could bring her to Universal and Disneyworld!?
An oily feeling slicks through my gut, but I call back. 揧eah!?
She flicks off the hairdryer and pops her head into the hallway. 揥hat? I couldn抰 hear,?she asks, smiling.
揑 said yeah. I抎 love that. She will, too.?
揙kay, good.?
揋ood,?I smile, but it feels wooden. And then, 揊ee??Her head tilts back out again, chin resting on the door frame. 揑 love you.?
Her returning smile beams. It抯 my own ray of god damn sunshine, burning through me. We抮e not in each others arms, we抮e just exchanging small words in a nondescript hotel room in a nondescript city. And I抳e probably told her I love her a hundred times in the last two days, but by the way she looks at me you抎 think it was the first time all over again. 揑 love you, too.?
She goes back to getting ready, and I dive inward and start contemplating. I know I need to talk to her about the tour, about not being her manager going forward. What started as a choice I thought I抎 need to make for my own self preservation has turned into something else entirely, though.
I don抰 know how to explain to her that she抯 inspired me to want to fall back in love with my career. That I抳e realized that the only thing I really love about managing her is?her.
That I抦 already so protective of this thing we抳e got. That I don抰 want to put any potential strain on it with working together. Because I don抰 ever want to resent it.
I groan inwardly at the idea, disgusted that I can抰 just be. That I feel I have to put every protection in place from the jump.
But, after the events of the other night, when I wasn抰 there for her?I think桰 think that all it would do right now is hurt her.
She抯 already working through everything that happened, has continued to talk with me openly about how she feels she abandoned herself a bit梟ot with that joke, but by singling out that woman and being harsh.