On a Friday night we all meet up at a Japanese hibachi restaurant梠ne of those places where they cook the food in front of you, do knife tricks, and launch pieces of shrimp at the mouths of each member of your party.
Violet looks gorgeous in a snug black sweater and boots, with blue jeans that are ripped at the knees. I got a cheap thrill in the truck on the drive over from slipping my hand into the torn hole and stroking the smooth skin of her leg with my fingertips.
In the atrium of the restaurant, we all stand in a crowd beside the indoor koi pond waiting to be seated. The D.U.H. crew are friendly and chatty with Violet, which doesn抰 surprise me in the least. She抯 easy to adore.
And they don抰 hold back on roasting me梐lso not a surprise.
揥e tried to steer him away from walking around with his head up his ass when you two first got together,?Delilah tells Violet.
揟hanks, Delilah,?I interject. 揋reat visual.?
揃ut he was determined to do it the hard way,?Carl adds.
Violet glances at me sweetly, then says, 揧eah, Connor can be pretty thick sometimes . . . but I like him anyway.?
Discreetly, I smack Violet抯 ass. Her eyes light up and heat suffuses her cheeks梐nd I make a mental note to explore spanking further when it抯 just the two of us.
The hostess calls our party and we each sit down around the large rectangular table, waiting for the chef to arrive.
Violet takes the menu from the hostess. 揋od, I抦 starving,?she says as she scans it eagerly. 揑 am Jack抯 growling stomach.?
She laughs.
But I freeze. Just staring at her.
In medical school there are a shit-ton of facts you need to learn and memorize梔osages and the workings of body systems and how a multitude of external and internal factors can play cause and effect with everything else梔irectly and indirectly. But there are moments in medical training when all those extraneous pieces of information come together and crystalize in your mind. And it抯 not just something you know . . . it becomes your reality.
That抯 what this is like for me, sitting next to Violet.
The muffled chatter of conversations continue around me and the world keeps turning梑ut my brain is on pause梒aught on a single phenomenal, indisputable, truth.
I抦 in love with this woman.
Deeply, undeniably, rapturously in love.
She抯 perfect for me梡recious to me. In every conceivable way.
揑t抯 a line from Fight Club, Connor,?Violet says, misunderstanding my silence.
I clear my throat, managing to get out, 揧eah, I know.?
She smiles and my heart pounds with devotion.
揙h good梱ou had me worried there for a minute.?
The waitress sets Violet抯 cocktail in front of her梐 tall pink fruity thing with an umbrella. And, Jesus Christ Almighty, even the way she sips her drink . . . the way her pretty lips pucker, is completely adorable to me.
I fucking love her. My happiness is inexorably linked to hers梩o her existence in my life梙er presence in my home, my bed, my heart. There抯 nothing I don抰 want to share with her.
I want Violet to be a part of my everything and my always.
And for a guy like me梬ho once upon a time believed I抎 had that and ended up running face-first into a brick wall of mistaken梚t抯 a huge realization.
Life altering. Future changing. Not just for me, but for my kids.
Still, the massiveness of it doesn抰 make it one bit less true.
And I抦 almost sure Violet feels the same way about me. But 揳lmost?only counts in horseshoes.
So I have to be sure. I have to tell her梘o out on a limb and be the half of the couple who says it first.
And find out if Violet抯 up for everything and always with me too.
*
The sad but pervasive truth about life, that I think I know better than the average person梚s that it抯 short and unpredictable. When you find happiness, you can抰 take it for granted.
You need to grab onto that shit with both hands and hold on tight. You can抰 waste time, you can抰 hesitate梚f you do, chances are good you抣l regret it.
And regrets suck ass in an especially brutal way.
I thought about telling Violet how I feel about her last night when we came back to my place from the hibachi restaurant. But Violet gets frisky when she抯 buzzed梐nd naughty. I抦 not sure how much alcohol was in those umbrella drinks . . . but she started doing a striptease as soon as we walked through my bedroom door.
Not that I抦 complaining. At all.
But I don抰 want Violet to think the first time I tell her I love her, that it抯 just the orgasm talking.
I want it to be perfect and right桰 want her to know the words are coming straight from my soul. I抦 also going to ask her to move in with me and the boys, full time梬hich is definitely a conversation she should be sober for.
It抯 a big step, but because it抯 her . . . it just feels easy.
揑抦 walking across the parking lot right now,?Violet tells me on the phone. She left for work from here this morning and was on shift until 8 p.m. 揑抦 going to head home and shower and then I抣l be over in about an hour and a half for this late dinner you抮e cooking up for me.?
Brayden and Spencer are sleeping at Ryan and Angela抯， and Aaron抯 out with his friends and won抰 be home until midnight梥o there won抰 be any interruptions.
揝ounds good, Vi.?
揇o you need me to bring anything??
揓ust you, baby,?I tell her. 揂ll I need is you.?
She releases a breathy, happy little sigh, and cool, cocky pride rushes through me at being the reason for it. When she speaks again, her voice is softer, sweeter.
揑抣l see you soon, Connor.?
揙kay. See you soon.?
*
Forty-five minutes later, the lights in the dining room are dimmed and the table is set for two, with candles just waiting to be lit. One of the benefits of my re-upped bachelorhood is that I learned how to cook better. Not a wide variety of dishes, but the ones I know I抦 Gordon-fucking-Ramsay-level awesome at.
So the homemade mashed potatoes are whipped and creamy, the foil-wrapped asparagus is dressed with butter and fresh-grated Parmesan cheese, and the steaks are perfectly seasoned and ready to be tossed on the grill.
It抣l take me ten minutes to hop in the shower and change my clothes梐nd then everything will be set for the ultimate romantic night.
I don抰 lock the front door when I抦 home桰 don抰 think anyone in Lakeside does. So when I hear it open and footsteps walking into the house, it抯 unexpected but not unusual.
I抦 at the counter drying my hands on a dishtowel when my brother Garrett walks into the kitchen. I抦 about to ask him, 揥hat抯 up??but the words get lodged in my throat when I see his face.
He抯 visibly pale and . . . shaken.
And it takes a lot to rattle Garrett.
揥hat抯 wrong??
He swallows hard.
揜yan called me. He told me to come get you and bring you to the hospital. There抯 been an accident.?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Connor
I argued with Aaron when we went shopping for his first car.
I remember feeling excited that I could buy my kid a car, because it was more than my parents had been able to do for me and my brothers. I only had two rules: it had to be safe, and it had to be used. I don抰 believe a seventeen-year-old should own a brand-new car梩hey抮e bound to ding it up, get into fender benders梐nd there抯 a special sense of accomplishment when you purchase your first new car yourself as an adult that I wanted him to experience.
But still we argued梑ecause I thought he should get a pickup truck, like mine. Trucks are practical, the bed space is always useful, they抮e big, high梥afe. They can drive in any kind of weather, drive over almost anything, including another car.