I’d just taken maybe my first calm breath all night when my phone started ringing.
Mom.
I groaned, head dropping back against the headrest. I considered not answering, but I knew well enough by now that if I didn’t, she’d call repeatedly until I did, or threaten to report me as a missing person to the cops.
With a tap of my thumb, her voice filled the car.
“Are you in some sort of trouble?”
I smiled at the somehow comforting shrillness of her worry. It made me feel at home. “Hello, Mother. To what do I owe the pleasure of a late-night phone call from you?”
“Don’t be smart with me,” she warned. “You never answer if it’s before noon, and I know you’re probably working at that parlor, anyway.” She spat the word parlor as if I’d been working in a brothel. “Or are you even working at all?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that we got a past-due credit card statement in the mail today with your name on it.”
I froze.
Shit.
I prided myself on never using the credit card they set up for me when I left the house at eighteen. I hadn’t wanted it, but Dad had practically begged. He wanted to know I had it if I ever needed it, no matter how much I assured him I could do it on my own.
Since that day, I’d only charged a few things to it, paying it off immediately and letting it collect dust in my wallet the rest of the time. But when everything went down with the pipes and the unexpected move across the street, I had broken down and charged gas and some groceries. I meant to pay it off as soon as I got my paycheck, but I’d forgotten.
And it was with this notice that I realized I hadn’t checked my mail since I moved to The Pit.
“Fuck, sorry, Mom. I meant to—”
“Don’t curse at me, young lady!”
“I didn’t curse at you, I cursed to you.”
I heard her going off on the other end, but it was softer now, the sound far away as if in a cave that I was only catching the echo of. You worry us to death, Mary. I don’t understand why you won’t just come back home. Or go to college, for goodness’ sake. You won’t let us help, you won’t—
It sounded like a hand was smothered over the phone, and then after a long pause of silence, the sound cleared, and a deep voice bellowed my name.
“Hey, Mare Bear.”
I almost cried at the sound of my father’s voice. “Hey, Dad. I’m sorry about the card. I’ll pay it as soon as I get home, I’m on my way now.”
“It’s all good, I already took care of it.”
My neck heated. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“You’re our daughter, we’re supposed to take care of you.”
I ignored the sting in my chest. “I’ll wire you tonight. Just tell me what the overdue fee was.”
“I’ll send it right back if you even try.”
“I don’t need your money, Dad.”
“Hey, I’m not asking for anything in return.”
He shot the words out like he knew that’s why I was insistent, and I couldn’t even lie and say it wasn’t. Last time I’d asked for their help, they’d offered it along with a set of conditions — move back home, get a regular job, enroll in college, get my life together. I’d expected it from Mom, but with Dad… it hurt.
“Are you going to come home to visit anytime soon? Your mother and I miss you.”
I snorted. “I highly doubt she misses anything about me.”
When he didn’t respond, I sighed.
“Maybe you and I could grab lunch this week. I can come downtown to the office? We haven’t had your favorite Thai place in a while.”
“Okay,” Dad said after a pause, and I heard the hurt in his voice, how he wished things were different between me and Mom.
He wasn’t the only one.
“I’ll have Matthew join us, too. He’s doing big things, just closed a deal on an e-commerce app that we were in a head-to-head battle over.”
The first genuine smile of the day found my lips then. “That’s my big bro.”
I could tell Dad was smiling, too, even though I couldn’t see him. “He’ll be excited to see you.”
My heart ached, wondering for a split second if I should have followed in my brother’s footsteps, if I should have joined the family company right under him and Dad. I could have been finishing up my degree this year, just twelve months away from a six-figure salary that would only exponentially grow.
But the thought didn’t even have time to stick before my creative energy was beating it right out of me.
I would have been miserable.
The truth was, I’d rather be broke and doing what I love than rich in some passionless job.
Of course, after tonight, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that the last year of my life might have been wasted on a man who wanted to fuck me more than he wanted to help me make a career.
My mood depleted again as I turned onto our street, and when I saw cars lining both sides of The Pit and lights flashing from our living room, I groaned.
A fucking party.
Great.
“I gotta go, Dad. I’ll text you about lunch.”
“We love you, Mare Bear.”
“Love you, too. And… thank you,” I said sincerely. “For the card thing. It won’t happen again.”
“No sweat,” he said, and I knew for him it wasn’t. Even with the overdue charges, my bet was that bill couldn’t have been more than a few hundred bucks. My dad spent more than that on dinner most days of the week.
I parked at my old house, casting a forlorn look at it and wishing more than I had in the last six weeks that I could just open the door, climb the stairs to my room, pack a bowl, and be alone.
Instead, I dragged my feet across the street to The Pit.
Mary
No one noticed me when I walked through the door.
Not that that surprised me, considering half the cheerleading team was there as well as a dozen or so sorority sisters. I spotted Kyle and Braden in the kitchen lining up shots with a group of girls gathered around them, and while a lot of the team was there, I noticed Zeke and Clay weren’t, which meant Riley and Giana wouldn’t be either.
As much as I loved those girls, I was glad I didn’t have to put on a happy face and pretend I wanted to party when it was the absolute last thing on my mind. Thank God they both had boyfriends they were obsessed with.
I weaved through the crowd up to my room, smiling when I found Palico curled into a ball on the clothes I’d left on my bed.
She yawned and stretched when I quietly shut the door behind me, and I petted her until she was satisfied before stripping out of my clothes and jumping in the shower. I didn’t do the whole hair-washing and leg-shaving song and dance, just rinsed off and sighed with contentment once my sweatpants were slipped on. I grabbed the biggest t-shirt I had next, not bothering with a bra, and popped a blueberry-flavored edible in my mouth before flopping down on my bed.
I hadn’t seen Leo on my way up, and I wondered for a moment if he was in his room with a girl already.
Then, I angrily shoved the heels of my hands into my eyes before putting on my headphones to drown out the noise of the party.