I blocked him on everything.
I unplugged my Xbox and made a plan to take it and all my games to GameStop and exchange it for a PlayStation, instead.
I shut the world out.
I shut who I used to be out.
And that night, when sleep wouldn’t come, I didn’t know a lot of things.
I didn’t know how much worse things would get at school the next day. I didn’t know that it was possible for an already-fractured heart to break even further. I didn’t know that those asshole friends of Leo’s took a picture of my drawing when I was busy looking at Leo. I didn’t know they’d make copies and plaster it all over school with my hideous freshman school photo, that pimple-faced porn freak would become a nickname I’d never escape in all my high school years. I didn’t know that Leo would laugh with them, that he’d never so much as look my way again, that he’d pretend I didn’t even exist.
The biggest surprise of all?
I didn’t know that six years later, when I was no longer even a semblance of the girl I was that summer I turned fifteen — Leo Hernandez would be my neighbor.
And a year after that… my roommate.
Now… Seven Years Later
Leo
“Coach! Coach!”
I turned, setting my cup of Gatorade down on the folding table just in time to save it before I was run over by three eight-year-old kids in full padding. I scooped one up under my arm while the other two collided with my legs, their little hands around my waist.
“Did you see that?!” Keon said, pointing back at the field. His helmet was a bit too big for him and his head wobbled with the weight of it when he looked back up at me. “I hit him with the stiff arm, just like you said!”
“Did not!” Jordan combatted, releasing his grip on my waist only long enough to shove Keon backward a bit.
“Did, too!”
“I tripped.”
“Yeah, because I pushed you. With my stiff arm.”
“Yeah, but I tackled you, Keon,” the little tyke under my arm pointed out, wiggling until I set him back down. “So that stiff arm doesn’t really matter.”
“I got twenty yards!” Keon combatted.
“Nuh-uh!” the other two said in unison, then they were all fighting, and I chuckled, bending until I was down on one knee and at their level.
“Alright, alright,” I said, grabbing two of them by their shoulders. I gave them each a look until they quieted. “Keon, that was a damn good run. You should be proud of it.”
Keon beamed.
“But,” I added quickly. “There’s a difference in someone who thinks he’s good and someone who knows it — the main one being that when you know it, you don’t need to brag about it.”
“Yeah, Keon,” Jordan said, crossing his arms.
“And Jordan, that was some great defense out there, but don’t be too proud to admit when you could have done better. Why do you think Keon was able to shove you off so easily with that stiff arm?”
Jordan looked down at his cleats. “Because I didn’t wrap him up.”
“You didn’t wrap him up,” I echoed.
“But I did!” Mason beamed.
I swiveled until my eyes were on him. “Twenty yards later.”
That quieted them all, though Keon wore a smirk.
“Look,” I said, pulling them all in a bit closer. “You all did good. But you all could have done better. And I hate to break it to you, but that’s football. In fact, that’s football on a good day. Most of the time, you’ll make mistakes that you know you shouldn’t make, and then you have to dust yourself off and get right back on the line for the next play.”
I pushed my finger into Keon’s chest.
“The most important thing is that you stay humble, remember why you love this game, and put your team above your own personal stats. Instead of ragging on each other, cheer each other on. Jordan, that was a hell of a run Keon had, wasn’t it?”
Jordan smiled at Keon, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah.”
“Yeah. And, Mason, you wouldn’t have been able to take Keon down if Jordan hadn’t slowed him with that attempted tackle, huh?”
“Probably not. He’s so fast,” Mason said.
“And it was a great tackle,” Keon said to Mason before I could prompt him. “You really wrapped me up, I couldn’t break it even if I wanted to.”
“See?” I said, thumping each of them playfully. “Now that’s what makes you stronger as a player and team right there.”
Coach Henderson’s shadow washed over the four of us, and I stood to join him as he nodded toward the field. “Alright, you three, back out there.”
“Yes, Coach!” they said in unison, and then they were jogging back out to play, laughing to each other instead of fighting.
Coach Henderson was the head coach of the Pee Wee team I’d been assisting him with since my sophomore year at North Boston University. It started as an accident, really — just me stuck on campus over the summer and bored, looking for something to do that wasn’t conditioning. That was about all we could do during the summer without breaking the rules of college ball. There were no real practices until fall camp.
Henderson had seen how antsy I was and offered me this unpaid job — one I took without thinking twice.
“They’re going to miss you next year,” he commented as the kids lined up for another play.
“Ah, most of them will be moving on to the next level, anyway,” I said. “And those who aren’t won’t be thinking of me.”
“You’d be surprised. You’ve really made an impact with these kids.” He paused, shaking his head. “Though I find you giving them advice on being humble quite comical.”
“Hey, I’m as humble as they come,” I said defensively.
“Right. What was it you said in that interview after the championship game last year?” He tapped his chin. “Oh, that’s right. I’ve broken two school records in my three years here, and by the time I leave, I’ll break them all.”
I blinked. “What? That’s just facts. NBU has never had a running back like me and you know it.”
He smirked and shook his head, clamping a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe just practice a bit of what you preach, eh, kid?”
I shrugged him off, but smiled, because maybe he was right. Maybe I could use a slice of humble pie on my plate now and then. But that just wasn’t how I rolled. For me, the key to success had always been cockiness.
Play like hell. Rub it in every defender’s face when they can’t stop me. And remind anyone who asks that I’m the best there’s ever been.
It didn’t matter if it was true or not. When you said something enough, you started to believe it. And when you believed it, you became it.
Those were my father’s words, and I held them like a creed.
My dad, Nick Parkinson, was and still is the best receiver to have ever played at Southern Alabama University. He was also a beast in the NFL until an injury ended his career, but not before he’d made enough cash and connections to set up a place for him in the sport forever. Now, while he spent most of his time as a commentator on television or an advisor for young players, he lived out the rest of his dream through me.