Someone yelled his name in the background, and he cursed just as Palico hopped up onto the table. I carefully draped the jersey over the back of one of our dining chairs and pulled the cat into my arms.
“I have to go,” Leo said. “We’re—”
The phone was snatched out of his hand then, and after a dizzying blur, Kyle was staring back at me.
“Mary!” He gasped. “Palico!”
That caused a scuffle behind him, and then Braden and Blake were flanking his sides, all battling to fill the screen.
“Palico!” Braden and Blake said in unison, and then they were all fussing over the cat, telling it how much they missed it while I bit back a smile and held her at the right angle for them to adore her.
“We miss you, too, Mary,” Braden said. “I need my yoga buddy.”
“And I need to know how you ever kept this place clean,” Blake added grimly. “Because we’re struggling here.”
“Pancakes on Sunday morning aren’t the same without you,” Kyle added, and with each word they said, my eyes stung more.
“Miss you guys, too,” I managed.
Leo wrangled the phone back, and after punching each of his roommates in the arm, he looked down at the screen. “Sorry about that.”
I smiled. “It’s okay.”
Another long silence fell between us. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. I still hadn’t sorted through all the thoughts swimming in my head, so I just stared at him with the fiercest longing in my chest.
“You’re wearing my hoodie,” he said.
I glanced down at where I held Palico in my arms, the blanket on the ground at my feet now. Then, I looked back at the screen and helplessly shrugged, still unable to put words to anything.
Of course, I’m wearing your hoodie, I wanted to say. I’m pretending its arms wrapped around me are you.
“Okay, well. I’ll let you go,” Leo finally said. He swallowed, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something else. But he closed it again.
“Good luck at the game,” I managed.
He nodded, and just before the call was cut, I saw his face twist like it physically pained him to end it.
I sat Palico down then, picking up the jersey again and smoothing the fabric between my fingers. I brought it to my nose, inhaling, but it was brand new and didn’t smell like anything at all, let alone like the player it represented.
But I remembered that smell, even without it being present.
Leo was a part of me — his scent, the way his arms felt around me, the vibration of his deep-chested laugh, the softness of his heart.
And I was finally ready to admit what I’d known all along.
I was terrified of him hurting me again, of losing him, of giving him my trust only to end up with a broken heart.
But I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
It was a risk I would take, one I couldn’t escape, because the alternative was to give him up now.
And I couldn’t do that.
I loved him.
I loved him.
The realization shocked me so much I nearly fell over, but at the same time, it was as if it had been there all along. It was like my brain was saying, “Duh, bitch,” while I grappled with the new discovery.
I still had so much to figure out. I still wanted to hold Nero responsible for what he did to me, for what he probably did to others. I still had to figure out where I went from here, what my future held.
But I knew that regardless of how any of that unfolded, I wanted to do it all with Leo by my side.
Something between a laugh and a sob ripped out of me, and I covered my mouth, shaking my head as I stared at the jersey still in my other hand.
Then, I picked up my phone again, dialing the group chat on a video call.
Julep answered first, and then Riley, with Giana’s screen going black at first before her sleepy face came into view, her hair a wild bird’s nest. When they were all there, I propped the phone against the candle again and held up the jersey.
“Alright,” I said. “How the hell do I style this thing?”
I was met with a chorus of delighted screams.
Leo
The South Hartford University’s football stadium was so loud my ears were already ringing.
Our rivalry had grown over the years, and any time we came to their turf, we were greeted by loud jeers from their fans, a shitty locker room, and a team full of massive guys just itching to take us to the ground.
North Boston University was a tough team, but we were also trained to respect our opponents and the schools we visited. SHU, on the other hand, wasn’t above playing dirty. They wanted to hurt us. They’d love to see one of us benched after a play where we were knocked down hard. And above everything, they wanted to win.
But so did we.
The locker room had been quiet after warmups, with our training staff taping up the last of the players as the rest of us bounced to stay warm. I could feel the nerves of everyone, especially Blake, and I’d jumped up on one of the benches to call everyone together.
“This may not be our house, but this is our win. Our season. Our chance to prove we’re not a one and done championship team. Nearly everyone in this stadium wants to see us lose, along with most of the country. No one wants to cheer for the team that’s already on top.” I’d grinned then, hitting my chest. “But that’s just too fucking bad for them.”
The locker room had roared, and when Clay jumped up beside me and started a chant, we fired up past all the nerves, running through the tunnel and out onto the field like it was our university instead of SHU.
Our fans had shown up for us, rivaling the boos that came from South Hartford as we ran out. I loved knowing we were taking up almost half the space, that it wasn’t a house full of their fans like it usually was. But when I quickly glanced at the NBU friends and family section and didn’t see Mary, my stomach dropped.
Her seat was empty.
I tried to ignore it, mouth clamped shut as I jogged out with the rest of the team. I only had a moment on the sideline before it was time for me to join the refs in the middle of the field for the coin toss.
I chanced a glance again.
Still empty.
I couldn’t shake off that second look. I stared at the seat with my heart beating loud in my ears.
I thought she’d come.
She’d answered my call. That alone had given me more hope than it probably should have. To see her still wearing my hoodie? That had me flying high. And she’d smiled. She’d told me good luck. She hadn’t said she would be here but…
I’d stupidly believed without a doubt that she would be.
“Captain,” the ref said, and I blinked, finding him and the player from the other team watching me like they saw just how stupid I was.
“Tails,” I said when I realized they were waiting for my call.
The coin was flipped. We won. We deferred. And then, the game began.
Other than checking the stands every two seconds to see if Mary had shown, I was locked in and focused on the game. Calling it a game at all felt wrong.
It was a blood bath, a battle, a war.
Our defense held them to three and out on their first drive, and then with a sick return from Zeke, we managed to score with our first possession. That only fired SHU up more, and two plays into our next possession, Kyle was taken down in a ghastly tackle that had him rolling on the ground in pain.