She points at a dark spot in the middle. “That’s why he’s a he.”
“Aww.” Kristina smiles. “Congrats, Sasha. I can’t wait to find out the gender of my baby.”
I keep watching the screen, moisture gathering in my eyes. I think I might be getting emotional or something.
Because I really want to hold this baby in my arms. I thought I had no purpose after revenge, but maybe this is fate telling me that I most definitely do.
After looking at the ultrasound image for an eternity, I slip it in the back of my jeans and ask Kristina to hide the prenatal vitamins the doctor gave me in her bag.
Before we leave, I clutch her arm. “Don’t tell Kirill or Konstantin, or even Karina. Actually, don’t tell anyone.”
Her brow furrows. “Why?”
“It’s complicated. I need to sort a few things out before I tell Kirill.”
“Okay.”
“Really?”
“Sure. It’s your good news to share anyway.”
“Thanks, Kristina.”
“You’re welcome. I’m happy to have someone to share a pregnancy with.” Her expression falls. “I tried being close to Yulia, but I don’t think she likes me.”
“She doesn’t like anyone but Konstantin.”
“I know, which is why I tried to do my duty as the daughter-in-law, but she’s never approved of me.”
“Ignore her like I do. She’s not worth your effort.”
“Thanks. We can go to these pregnancy classes together…if you don’t hate me, of course.”
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because of the engagement?”
“Oh. That. Don’t worry about it. That whole thing is all in the past.”
“Thank you for saying that. If it’s any consolation, Kirill never even liked me. You’re the only woman he looks at as if he’s terrified of breathing without her.”
I laugh. “You’re exaggerating.”
“You weren’t there when he thought you’d died. He visited your supposed grave every day and got drunk until he passed out. He barely functioned without you and only came back to life after you returned.”
I gulp, my heart hammering fast as if it was never stomped upon and torn to shreds. This better be just the hormones.
It has to be.
“I’ll be waiting here.”
I stare back at Viktor, who accompanied me to visit my brother today.
New Year’s came and went, and Kirill was under the obligation to go back to his duties. So we all returned to New York.
Since he has an important meeting with the other leaders, he assigned Viktor to drive me here. Let’s just say the ride with him wasn’t as bad as I expected. We simply ignored each other.
When we arrived at the annexed room, he opened it with his thumbprint and told me to go inside.
He probably wants to stay outside in case I try something and help Anton escape.
I carefully take the few steps down. I stopped training and have only been doing pregnancy-approved sports. Kirill kept asking why we’re not having our morning duels anymore, but he stopped after I told him that I don’t want to hurt him either.
He said that I’m not fighting anyone but him and I agreed, which he narrowed his eyes at. I know he’s suspicious, but I’m not sure about what exactly.
However, that’s a thought for another day.
My priority right now is the little boy I’m carrying. I wasn’t able to take care of him in the first trimester, so I’ll do it properly now.
My stomach is starting to show a bump, and he’ll definitely notice it soon, considering all the fucking he treats like a religion.
Problem is, I’m not sure how the hell to approach him about this.
I can’t tell him until I figure out what to do about this entire situation, namely my family.
My feet come to a halt at the bottom of the few stairs.
What the…？
I have to blink to make sure the scene in front of me is real and not a hallucination.
In the corner of the room where Anton usually meditates on the bed, something entirely different is happening.
My brother and my friend are sleeping, arms wrapped around each other’s waists and foreheads connected.
And they’re naked.
Or at least, their upper halves and their legs are. I’m glad there’s a sheet thrown over their intimate parts.
I must make some sort of a noise, because Maks jumps up in one swift movement. Anton follows right after and I turn my head in time to not see them entirely naked.
“Fuck” and “Shit” echo behind me, followed by groans and fumbling of clothes. I slam my eyes shut, even though I’m turned away. I don’t want to risk accidentally witnessing their nudity and traumatizing myself for life.
“What are you doing here?” Maks asks with a note of frustration. “Boss didn’t tell me you were coming.”
Is that what Kirill used to do? Inform him of our visits?
“Maybe he forgot. Also, Viktor is the one who brought me here.”
A hand touches my arm and I slowly open my eyes. “You guys decent?”
“Yes,” both say at the same time, Anton sounding more frustrated than Maks.
The latter is the one who touched my arm. He rubs the back of his head, looking flustered for the first time ever. For a moment, he appears lost for words before he points at the entrance with his thumb. “I’m just going to talk to Viktor.”
He casts a fleeting glance at Anton, who looks back momentarily before my friend leaves, and I hear the door closing behind him.
My brother is sitting on the bed, his head lowered and his shoulders tense. I slowly approach him, then sit beside him. “Is there something I need to know?”
“If I say no, would you leave it alone?”
“Probably not.”
He groans and runs his fingers through his hair. His face looked so peaceful earlier, but now, a war rages in the depths of his soul and spills outside his body in droves.
“Tosha…” I touch his arm. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“That didn’t look like nothing just now.”
“I don’t know what the hell it is. I know nothing at this point. Everything is fucking complicated.”
I squeeze his shoulder. “I’ve never related to you in my life like I do right now.”
His eyes meet mine, slowly calming down. “On which part?”
“The fact that everything is complicated and that nothing makes sense anymore.”
Silence stretches between us for several moments before we sigh at the same time.
I chuckle at that and Anton offers a hesitant smile back.
“What the fuck are we even doing?” he asks in a whisper, more to himself than anyone else.
“I have no clue,” I reply anyway.
“We can’t go on like this. We have the deaths of our family members strapped to our shoulders.”
I have no clue if he’s trying to convince me or himself at this point.
“I know,” I say.
“Have you figured out a way to get me out of here, or are you now comfortable staying as Kirill’s wife?”
“Even if I were comfortable, I don’t like the fact that you’re locked up.”