I frowned but went over. I was getting As and Bs on everything so far, on the quizzes, on the test, on the papers due.
“Mara.”
I looked at the door. Wade was there with a question in his gaze, but I remembered Angela and waved at him. “You can head out. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to wait for me.” I didn’t know if that’s what he was asking, but I didn’t want to risk the topic of Angela. I didn’t want to bold-face lie to my roommate, not if I didn’t have to.
He nodded before heading out.
“Mara.” The TA gave me a tight smile, putting her own laptop away in her bag. She set it on her desk and inclined her head toward me. “Field trips are coming up.”
This again? “I’ve been doing well on all my stuff.”
“You have. Yes, but being book smart isn’t always the same as being world smart. Look, I’m not trying to ride you or anything. We had another freshman in the class and when we did our field trips, it ended in disaster. I said it before, but there’s a reason this is an upperclassmen course.”
“You’re judging me because I’m a freshman.”
“Yes. That’s the criteria for this course.”
“What do you want from me? I’m doing everything right in the class.”
“We’re going to the facilities next week. I’m just stressing again how important it is for you to act respectful. The patients there are people. They’re mothers and fathers and daughters and sons and brothers and sisters. Just remember that. You never know someone’s circumstances. You could end up there one day. I could end up there one day. People just, have struggles and sometimes we’re clueless about it. I guess that’s all I’m stressing. The opportunity that Dr. Chandresakaran gives the students means a great deal to me.”
I was seriously so tired of this. I could open myself up, give her my entire life’s resume about how aware I was of what she’s talking about, but I didn’t. That was not her business, no matter what she was pushing on me. “I’ll be fine.”
“You’re doing presentations when you get back on what you learned. I’ll be looking forward to what you learned.”
I almost laughed, because going to that facility wasn’t going to teach me anything I didn’t already know. “Yeah. Me too. Can I go?”
She nodded, a half-smile but also a half-frown on her face. Her problem wasn’t mine, and I wasn’t going to take it on. But as soon as I was in the hallway, I checked my phone and saw a text.
Angela: Could you come over?
This. This I would take on.
Me: Leaving class right now. What dorm and room?
My phone buzzed again.
Kit: I don’t know where your mom is, but word is getting spread around town. My cousin told me that your mom is saying mad shit about you. Saying you came onto her boyfriend when you were like 12. She’s saying crazy stuff.
I stared at the phone, everything beginning to circle around me, until I shut it down.
I couldn’t focus on this crisis today.
Word spread fast. Everyone at Grant West knew about Carrington. They knew he’d been arrested for a sexual assault and no story or rumor was spread about me, about Cruz, or a fight at the beach. It was not spread about who the girl was, and everyone was asking.
Gavin slipped into his seat, and I expected him to ask about the rumors, but before he could, a shadow fell over us. We both looked up, and my mouth might’ve dropped. Cruz fell into the seat on the other side of me. Barclay took the seat on his other side.
“What are you doing here?”
He had a coffee in his hand, and put that on my desk before bending down to dig into his bag. He nodded toward the front. “Class.”
“You don’t usually sit with us.”
He stopped digging in his bag, and turned his head to me. “Saw you earlier on campus and you looked wiped. Don’t be a girl and take offense to that. You’re still hot even when you look like you’re dragging.” His gaze fell to the coffee. “Brought that for you, and this.” He pulled out a bagel, putting that on my desk too.
Barclay leaned forward. “If you don’t want either, I’ll take ‘em off your hand. Practice was brutal this morning.”
I reached for the bagel. “No. I—” My hand closed over it before pulling it out of the bag. I reached for the coffee too, taking a sip. And almost died because it was so good. “How’d you know I love matcha lattes?”
The professor was coming in. He leaned back and gave me a slow smile. “I have ways.”
Barclay started laughing, until Cruz’s hand whipped out. He started coughing after that.
My phone buzzed five minutes later, so I silenced it.
Gavin: You know anything about what happened with Carrington?
Mara: No. The guys aren’t talking in your frat?
Cruz: What’s Gavin saying?
Gavin: They’re a vault. You guys were out there that day. Did you see anything?
To Cruz: Asking about Carrington, if we know anything. Not that I’m complaining, but why are you sitting with us today?
To Gavin: We didn’t get back till super late, or super early Monday morning.
It was a vague answer, but I didn’t want to lie. Not unless I had to.
Cruz: Just time. You’re my girl.
His girl. I stared at the screen, knowing I couldn’t hide a smile or ignore the flutter in my tummy. I glanced up, seeing he was watching me, his eyes soft.
I typed back.
I’ll expect a matcha latte every day now.
He read his phone, and the side of his mouth lifted up.
Cruz: Not a problem.
A shadow flashed over his gaze.
Cruz: You okay? For real. I wasn’t lying when I said you looked wiped this morning.
I could tell him about Kit’s text, but a stubborn part of me wanted to deny it, block it out. That was my mom doing her thing, trying to get to me. Boundaries. I refused to give her a rise about whatever bullshit she was saying regarding me.
Mara: I was at Angela’s all night. Sure I’ll be there tonight too.
Cruz: I’m sorry. That’s heavy.
Another shadow flickered over his face, but the professor began calling on us. We needed to pay attention.
Wade approached me later in the week.
I was leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs to meet Cruz when he called my name.
Zoe was the only one in the kitchen. She grabbed her soup and gave me a little smile before leaving.
“Hey, uh.” He raked a hand through his hair, his head shifting around. “Angela’s not been returning anything from me. I called her Sunday, but she sent me a text saying she was heading out of town with some friends. That’s been it. She did a post on Insta yesterday about studying for the week, but it was a vague post. I know she hangs out at the hockey house, and I don’t know the current status of you and Styles, but have you heard anything?”
Angela had called every day this week, and a lot of those calls were me listening to her cry. I’d been at her dorm room both Tuesday and Wednesday nights, late. I hadn’t talked to Labrowski. I didn’t know what he knew or if he was being there for her. Cruz and I hadn’t talked a whole lot this week except for class where he and Barclay were now sitting by us. It was a permanent change. Cruz brought me another matcha latte, but with a breakfast sandwich instead. No bagel. And after class, he grabbed my bag before I could. He also took off, before I could take it back. He waited for me outside, and refused to hand it back, carrying it to my next class.