I stare at him as I listen.
“And then one day, something will let go.”
My sanity?
“Like what?” I ask.
“The pressure of expectation,” Chakrii replies.
I frown, it’s like he’s reading my mind.
“You are not the first corporate highflier we have had here; you will not be the last. The ones that leave early…” His voice trails off.
“What?” Emily asks. “What happens to the ones that leave early?”
“Some return, sometimes years later when they realize the truth.”
“What truth?” Emily asks.
“That there is no easy way, you have to push through the barriers that your thoughts have created for you.” He smiles wistfully. “To be able to control your mind is the greatest strength that one can have.”
Isn’t that the truth.
“So you need to make a decision, Jameson, right now. Are you going to go through life wondering what could have been?”
Emily takes my hand in hers and kisses my fingertips.
“Or are you going to tough it out and stay?” He pauses as if choosing his words wisely. “Twenty-one days could change the whole trajectory of your life, do you want to feel free?”
I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders…because it is. It feels like it always has been. My life is a gift, one that I want more than anything.
Without a word, I walk inside and go into the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I take a long hard look at myself and my eyes well with tears because I don’t like what I see.
I know I have to do this.
Emily walks into the bathroom and puts her arms around me from behind and kisses my shoulder. She doesn’t say anything, she just holds me while I have my meltdown.
A knock sounds at the door. “Jameson,” a voice calls.
“Yes?”
“It’s Jarden, I’m here for your stretch class.”
What’s it going to be, sink or swim?
Swim.
“I’ll be right out.”
Emily
I sit on the front porch of our bungalow and read through the notes in my diary, I’ve been keeping a score of what goes down in here and I have to say, it’s been very satisfying to go back and read through it day by day.
We are making progress, and on the days where I felt we have gone backward, I’ve returned to the diary to recap and remind myself of where we were at the beginning.
Day one, a total disaster.
Day two, Jameson paced for hours. I think he’s losing his mind.
Day three, Jameson had a meltdown and thankfully decided to stay.
Day seven, Jameson actually closed his eyes during meditation. I think we could be onto something here.
Day eight, he had a major meltdown, he wanted to leave and find a restaurant because he needed to eat a steak.
Day ten, he stopped pacing and for the first time since I’ve known Jay, he is calm and present.
Day thirteen and fourteen, he slept for two days straight, Master Chakrii says this is a breakthrough and that his body is releasing the last of his stored adrenaline. To be honest it’s kind of scary for me to see him like this, Jameson never sleeps so for him to do it for two full days and nights is unsettling.
Day fifteen, we laughed all day and then made love under the stars on the beach.
Day by day and little by little, I can feel Jameson purging old beliefs, breaking destructive habits. Reacting to the Chinese medicine and discovering a new sense of self.
I begin to write my next entry.
Day eighteen.
I glance up from my diary to see my man sitting up on the cliff on the rock ledge, staring out to sea.
Cross-legged and pensive, he’s been up there for hours, alone and just being in the moment with nature.
He’s not complaining or whining or being a sarcastic asshole to anyone.
I smile softly, I’ve never loved him more.
Day twenty-one.
My back arching off the bed wakes me from a deep sleep and instantly I know where I am.
In bed, on my back with my legs over my Jameson’s shoulders, his fingers spreading me wide, his tongue licking me deep, he’s sucking and nibbling and my back arches again, oh fuck, I’m about to come.
How long has he been doing this?
I moan as my fingers twist in his hair. “Oh god,” I whimper as I spread my legs wider.
He smiles into me. “Good morning, Mrs. Miles.”
“It sure is.”
Seriously, how is this my life?
He licks me deeper and I begin to shudder. “Stop,” he commands as he slides up my body, bringing my legs over his shoulders.
We fall silent as we stare at each other, the air buzzing with deep arousal.
When he has me in this position I am completely at his mercy, my body is his for the taking. To fuck and use however he wants.
He knows it and he loves it.
And so do I.
His eyes are dark and dangerous and I feel the tip of his thick cock slide through my swollen lips. He finds the sweet spot and pushes in hard, my body fluttering around his as it tries to deal with his size.
His eyes roll back in his head and then he slowly slides out and then pushes in hard, the bed hits the wall as he lets me have it with both barrels.
Deep punishing hits, his thick cock taking exactly what it needs from my body.
And in return, mine accepting all of his. Sucking him in as if my life depends on it, because at this moment, it does.
He is all that I need.
Everything seems magnified in here, the laughter, the love that we make, the time in each other’s arms. Perhaps it’s because there are no distractions, or maybe because we’ve crossed another emotional bridge. I don’t know what it is, but everything feels like more. The highest of highs, I’m grateful, so grateful.
I cry out as an orgasm tears through me and then he slams in and holds himself deep.
I feel the telling jerk of his cock as it empties deep inside of me and we pant as we try to catch our breath.
He smiles down at me. “Let’s go home.”
Jameson
“Renata, where are we on the Robinson deal?” I ask.
“I’m waiting for them to get back to me with the contract,” she replies across the board table.
“Why are you waiting? Chase it up.”
“Yes sir.” She scribbles in her diary and a knock sounds at the door.
“Yes,” I call.
Sammia sticks her head around the door. “Jameson, can I see you for a moment, please?”
“I’m in a meeting, Sammia, you can see that.”
“It’s urgent, sir.”
Fuck’s sake. “Excuse me.” I stand and walk out of the room. “What is it?”
“You have a visitor in your office.”
“Who?”
“Emily, she says that it’s extremely urgent.”
What’s wrong?
I march to my office and barge open the door, Emily is sitting at my desk. “What’s wrong?” I splutter.
She bounces out of the chair and kisses me softly as she wraps her arms around me. “Nothing, everything is right.”
I peel her arms off from around me. “I am in a board meeting, Emily,” I whisper. “What are you doing?”
“I just thought you’d like to know the news.”
“Know what?”
She digs around in her bag and pulls something out and passes it over to me.