I now wondered under what circumstances it had been given to her. Was it a gift from her mother and father, offered with understanding that her marriage to my father would mean a peaceful alliance? Or was it one of the few possessions she had managed to bring with her when my father had taken her as a prisoner?
I turned to the mirror and placed the crown on my head, searching my face for my mother’s features, but all that reflected back were my father’s—his deep frown, his hollow cheeks, his troubled brow.
I looked miserable.
I turned from the mirror to find Violeta holding a pair of pearl earrings.
“You should wear these, my queen,” Violeta said.
They had also been my mother’s, and despite how many times I had worn them, seeing them now brought tears to my eyes. I took a deep breath, swallowing the strange wave of emotion that welled in my blood.
“Thank you, Violeta.”
I took the earrings and refused to look in the mirror as I hooked them in place. When a knock sounded at the door, I stiffened, my body tense with frustration.
Violeta and Vesna looked at me.
“We can tell them you are busy,” Vesna said. “It is not untrue.”
It wasn’t, but no matter how quickly I got to my agenda today, the events I had planned would take time to unfold. Besides, what if Ana had come to speak with me? I did not want to miss the chance to see her, especially given that I had much to discuss with her, including her use of magic.
“Answer it,” I said.
Vesna obeyed, and when she opened the door, I recognized the voice on the other side.
I sighed, and before Vesna could announce his presence, I said, “Come in, Killian.”
The commander of Lara’s military—and one of my former lovers—entered my quarters. He was dressed in black—not because he was mourning but because he could not bring himself to wear the blue of Lara, nor the red of Revekka. Despite how my father’s betrayal had hurt him, he was not yet ready to embrace my kingdom even though he had fought at my side against Gesalac and the crimson mist.
“My queen,” he said and bowed.
“You shaved,” I said, surprised to see that his long beard was trimmed close to his skin. He had not shaved since he had started growing facial hair. I had never cared for his beard, but I thought that perhaps he kept it because his father had kept one too. I wondered if this was his way of distancing himself from the loyalty he had to King Henri.
“Y-yes,” he said and ran a hand over the back of his head. “I hoped for a moment of your time today.”
“By today, I’m assuming you mean now.”
His eyes shifted to Violeta and Vesna. “A moment…alone.”
Alone. The word straightened my spine and sent my heart racing. I did not wish to be alone with anyone but Adrian. At the same time, my chest tightened with guilt. Killian had helped me and was just as devastated by my father’s betrayal. But while I knew he was loyal to me, would he also be loyal to my husband?
“I am afraid I have no time this morning,” I said. “I must meet with Gavriel.”
Killian’s shoulders stiffened. “Why?”
The word tumbled out of his mouth unceremoniously.
“I have questions about Lara,” I said.
He was quiet for a moment, likely wishing to contain his initial reaction, but he did not need to because I knew how he felt. It was the same way I had felt any time he had minimized my concerns regarding Lara’s politics or defenses.
“Do you not trust me?” Killian asked.
“This has nothing to do with trust.”
“Then why not ask me?” he said.
“Because you are too close,” I said. “I need the truth.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” he asked.
I clenched my fist to keep from rolling my eyes. “No,” I said. “Unless you knew my father intended to kill me when he arrived here. Then I would call you a liar. Then I would call you a traitor.”
Killian paled, and when he spoke, his voice was a quiet rumble. It hinted at the pain I had caused with those few words. “You cannot think I would have let him hurt you.” When I did not speak, he continued. “If I had known his intentions, he would not have made it beyond the borders of Lara.”
There was a part of me that had expected Killian to justify my father’s decision because he had been just as upset when he’d come to Revekka and discovered that not only did the Blood King still live, I was in love with him. Instead, Killian attempted to protect me.
“I wish I had known,” he added. “I would have liked to spare you this agony.”
There was a lot to say about Killian and the complicated nature of our friendship, but perhaps his greatest attribute was his loyalty—not to crown or title but to me.
“I do not doubt you,” I said. “But it is for that reason I must speak with Gavriel. Your view of Lara was influenced by my father. How are either of us to know the truth?”
“Is that an invitation to join you?” he asked.
I studied him briefly and then said, “Only if you agree to wear my colors.”
His jaw tightened. “Which colors?”
“Red for Revekka, blue for Lara, and gray…for when I conquer Vela and free my mother’s people.”
“You wish to conquer Vela?” he asked, his brows raising.
“I will conquer Vela,” I said. “I will burn it to the ground.”
***
Killian waited outside my door while Violeta helped lace up my boots and clasped a blue, fur-lined cloak around my shoulders. Despite the cold, I did not wish to meet Gavriel within the castle. I did not trust its walls with their hidden passages and concealed doors—anyone might happen upon us; anyone might listen. At least in the garden, it was harder to hide. More than that, however, it was a place from which I drew comfort and strength because it was where I felt closest to my mother, though I was miles away from her gardens in Lara—the ones my father had made certain survived long after her untimely death.
Once more, I found myself at odds with my father, whose love allowed for altars dedicated to my mother’s memory but no action toward what mattered most—the freedom of her people and the life of her daughter.
I led Killian outside through the entrance of the Red Palace, following a path that cut between green hedges and a set of stone steps that descended into the extensive gardens. It had grown colder since I’d seen Adrian off this morning, and I briefly wondered where he was now, if he had any luck locating Gesalac or Julian, and when he would be home.
“Everything is still alive,” Killian said.
It was true—trees were still lush, flowers were still blooming, the hedges were thick—and yet snow whirled in the air, gathering in the crevices of leaves and petals, glittering red beneath the heavy sky.
“Winter falls upon us fast,” said a voice, and I whirled to find Gavriel pushing away from the castle wall on which he had been leaning. He was an imposing figure, both because of his build and his height. As he approached, he scanned the landscape, eyes squinted, adding, “Everything will die soon.”
His words felt ominous and sent a chill up my spine.
I’d only had one interaction with Gavriel before today and it had been after I had discovered the desecration of Vaida in Lara. Adrian had assigned him to stay at Castle Fiora, and there he had remained until my father made the journey to Revekka for my coronation.