“Stop it,” Mam begged and pleaded. “Get off him, Teddy.”
“I’m more of a man than you,” I forced out, desperately trying to keep my face off the tiled floor he was intent on crushing me into.
“Oh, you think so?” Laughing cruelly, he knotted his hand in my hair and snapped my head back before roughly slamming my face into the tiles. “You’re a piece of shit, boy.”
Everything inside of me was eerily calm for the briefest of moments before the sudden rush of heat and pain coursed through my face, bringing with it the familiar metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
Forcing myself to fight back against his hold, I spat out a clump of blood and heaved against the tiles, desperately trying to buck him off my back.
Relentless, he reared my head back and smashed it back down again.
Again and again.
Over and over.
“Get off him. Teddy, you’re going to kill him.”
Dizziness engulfed me.
“Good. And you’re next, you turncoat whore.”
Pain ricocheted through me.
I could feel the bone in my nose twisting sideways from the brunt of his blows.
In a way, I was relieved because I thought this might finally be it.
It’s finally over.
“That all you got?” I snarled, still fighting against his unbreakable hold, because I would never give in to this man. He would have to stop my heart from pumping first. “You’re losing your touch, old man.”
It was only ever going to go one of two ways.
Either he was going to kill me, or I was going to kill him.
At least, if he finished it, I could rest.
I could just have peace.
Don’t you dare stop.
You’ve got a girl and a baby depending on you.
Get the fuck back up on your feet.
Don’t you dare leave her alone in this.
Furious, I kept fighting, kept goading, kept fucking going, until I somehow managed to twist my body sideways and drag him onto the floor with me.
But I was too weakened, my body too worn to fight him off.
Desperately fighting for my life, I tried to inflict as much pain as I could on him, but my hands felt like concrete blocks.
It was so hard to lift them, let alone throw a punch.
Getting the better of me once more, my father straddled my chest, and clamped his big hand around my throat, sealing my airways, and restricting my lungs.
I could hear the kids crying, I could hear Mam wailing, I knew Shannon needed help, but all I could think of in this moment was my girlfriend.
All of the bad shit I’d done, all of the horrible fucking situations I’d put her in down through the years.
I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks as my body weakened.
I love you, I mentally told her. I’m sorry.
I gave it a fucking shot.
I wanted to close my eyes.
To just stop.
But something caught my eye in the haze.
Shannon caught my eye.
I could see her.
At the other side of the kitchen.
Slumped over and bleeding from her mouth.
Panic clawed at my gut.
She’s dying.
She’s dying.
Get up.
Get the fuck up and help her.
“Help…her,” I tried to scream, but my words were barely more than a whisper. “Fucking…help…her!”
“Get off my brother!” Tadhg’s scream infiltrated my mind moments before the pressure on my throat eased.
Gasping for air, I pulled and tore at the hand still wrapped around my throat. He wasn’t choking me anymore, but he hadn’t released me, either.
“Tadhg, put down the knife,” I heard my mother strangled out. Please, baby.”
“Fuck you,” he screamed back. “Get. Off. My. Brother.”
“Don’t be stupid, boy.”
“I’m not stupid, and I’m not Joey. I won’t stop just because Shannon says so.”
Light headed and exhausted from the exertion it was taking to keep my heart beating, I swung my bleary-eyed gaze to where my little brother had a knife pressed to our father’s throat, with the sharp tip pressed precariously close to his jugular.
“Tadhg,” I choked out through splutters, when the old man’s grip loosened further. “It’s okay. Just take it easy.“
“It’s not okay, Joe.” With tears streaming down his cheeks, he shook his head. “None of this is okay.”
“What are you going to do, boy?” the stupid prick taunted. “Stab me?”
“Yes.”
The old man moved for the knife, but my baby brother doubled down and stepped closer, still wielding the knife.
“Jesus Christ, Tadhg,” Dad yelped, hands moving from my throat to his, as blood trickled from the nick the knife had given him. “You cut me.”
“This ends now,” Tadhg growled, holding the knife a lot steadier than any boy of eleven should. “Get off my brother, and get out of this house for good, or I’ll slit your fucking throat.”
HIGHLIGHTS AND HEARTACHE
AOIFE
“You are the queen of all things hair and makeup,” Casey declared, doing a 360 twirl to get a good look at herself. “Insane, Aoife. Your skills with makeup are un-freaking-real, girl!”
With her bedroom stereo turned up full blast, my best friend bopped around to KC & The Sunshine Band’s Give It Up, while striking different poses in the full-length mirror glued to the back of her bedroom door.
After spending most of the day at her mam’s flat, I felt better.
Casey had this innate ability of making me feel like my life wasn’t going to shit. It wasn’t that she was overly optimistic, she just happened to possess enough crazy to complement mine.
We just fit together like bacon and cabbage.
Or vodka and coke.
“I’d like to thank the academy.” I took a dramatic bow before tossing my makeup brushes back into my bag. “And myself, because, you know, I’m so amazing and all that jazz.”
“You could make some serious side cash doing makeup and up-styles.”
“Yeah.” I flopped down on her bed and sighed heavily. “That’s the plan, Case.”
“I hope we have a girl,” she said. “So, we can instill on her a lifetime of contouring wisdom and fashion knowledge.”
“Joey wants a girl.”
“He does?”
“Yep, and that’s the one,” I declared, watching as she readjusted the skimpy black dress that she was modeling for her date tonight. “Seriously, Case. You look fierce.”
“Hm.” Sounding unconvinced, she studied her appearance in the mirror for a long beat before shaking her head and whipping the fabric over her head. “I’m going with the pink dress.”
“You’re making a mistake,” I chimed in. “The black one makes you look like you have legs for days.”
“But the pink one makes my boobs look epic.”
“So?” I snorted. “Alec’s seen your boobs a dozen times. He already knows how epic they are.”
“I’m not going out with Alec tonight.”
My eyes lit up. “Mack?”
“Nope.”
“Rambo?”
“Nope.”
“Charlie?”
“No one from our year, Aoif.”
“Who then?”