Smiling when he handed me the mayo, I padded over to his bed and sank down, letting him do his thing and process, while I occupied myself by scoffing down every morsel of food on my plate.
When his knuckles were aching, his breathing was ragged, and his anger was spent, only then he did he slump down on the bed beside me, with his plate on his lap, and a dejected look on his face.
When he made no move to eat, I stabbed a piece of his lasagna with my fork and held it up to his mouth.
He stared at it for the longest time before finally accepting my offering and taking a bite.
I repeated the move another seven or eight times, feeding him when he wouldn’t, until he shook his head, shoulders slumping in defeat.
Setting our plates on the windowsill next to his bed, I shifted closer until our shoulders were touching and leaned my cheek on his shoulder.
After a long beat, he exhaled a resigned breath and rested his head on top on mine. “This is the part where I go out and lose my mind.”
Taking his hand in mine, I entwined our fingers and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “I know.”
“I don’t know how much more I can take,” he admitted quietly, head bowed, gaze trained on our joined hands. “How much more he can push me until I snap and throw it all away.”
“You’ve got another night in you,” I told him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “You can hold on for one more night.”
“Can I?”
“You’ve got this, Joey Lynch.” I reached up and cupped his chin between my fingers and thumb, forcing him to look at me.
The lonesome look in his eyes almost broke me, but I forced myself to remain strong, allowing him to absorb all of the comfort, strength, and whatever else he needed from me. Because, God knows, the bastards downstairs would never give it to him.
“You’ve got this,” I repeated, imploring him with my eyes to both hear me and believe in himself. “And I’ve got you.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
His lips were on mine then, hands pulling at the opening of my coat and tearing the fabric from my body, as he chased the physical connection he needed to ground himself in this moment.
Breathing hard, he tossed my coat on his bedroom floor and quickly reached for his t-shirt, whipping it over his head in one swift move.
Trembling with feelings and anticipation, I lay back on his bed, giving him unlimited access to my body.
When his big body came crashing down on me, pushing me deeper into the mattress, I felt myself slip deeper into his world, as I drowned in the love I felt for him, and he drowned in the physical affection that he had spent a lifetime being deprived of.
“Roll onto your back.”
“Hm?”
“I didn’t get all dolled up to be hidden in the sheets.” I pushed at his chest. “I want you to see me.”
Complying without objection, he rolled us over until he was underneath, with me perched on his lap. I grinned down at him and trailed my freshly painted red nails down his bare stomach. “Hey, stud.”
His fingers flexed on my waist. “Hey, queen.”
“Do you want to know a secret?”
He laughed. “I don’t know, Molloy, do I?”
“I think you do.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Tell me.”
I crooked a finger. “You need to come closer.”
He pulled up on his elbows. “Well?”
“Closer.”
“How close do you need me?”
“This is perfect,” I said approvingly, wrapping my arms around his neck when he sat straight up, with his chest flush against mine. “First, give me a kiss.”
“Jesus, Molloy, just tell me already—”
“Ah-ah-ah. I want a kiss.”
“Pain in my hole,” he grumbled, hands moving to cup my ass, as he leaned in and pressed a drugging kiss to my lips.
“Mm.” Pulling back before I lost myself in his lips, I used my thumb to wipe my smeared lipstick from his lips and smiled. “I have a peephole.”
“A peephole.”
“Uh-huh.”
“This is your big secret?”
Grinning, I nodded. “You want to see?”
Joey stared at me for a long moment before blowing out a breath and shrugging. “Yeah, fuck it. I want to see.”
“It’s down here.” Taking his hand, I placed it between my thighs and laughed when his fingers grazed me there. “Feel it?”
“That’s not a peephole, Molloy,” Joey muttered, pulling back to get a better look. “There’s nothing there.”
“I know.” Clapping with delight, I lifted up on my knees to give him a proper look. “Crotchless knickers, Joe. What an incredibly useful invention, huh?”
“You know, sometimes I don’t know if you use me as a soundboard for the crazy shit that goes on in your head or an accomplice,” he admitted, thoroughly investigating my ensemble. “I’m down for either, by the way.”
Thrilled that I had managed to coax him out of his bad mood, I took my chance and capitalized. “Want to know something else?”
“Hm?”
“You’re a diamond, Joey Lynch.” Cupping his face between my hands, I leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “You’re one in a million.”
“Oh Jesus,” he chuckled against my lips, as he reached up and knotted his hand in my hair. “Should I be worried about where this is leading?”
“Nope.” Shaking my head, I exhaled a contented sigh and pushed on his shoulders until he flopped down on his back. “Just wanted you to know that you’re someone’s favorite person in the world.”
“Don’t get soft on me, Molloy,” he teased, but I could hear the emotion he was trying to hide in his voice.
Smiling, I leaned in close and kissed him again. This time, I wholeheartedly let myself get caught up in the moment, in the feel of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, skin on skin.
“You’re someone’s favorite person, too,” he whispered a little while later, when he rolled me onto my back and settled between my legs.
“Oh really?”
He nodded. “Don’t want to do this whole life gig without you, Molloy.”
“You won’t ever have to,” I replied, reaching between our bodies to free his erection. “You’ll always have me, Joe.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” he whispered, pushing deep inside of me.
FOOD RUNS AND FUTURE DISCUSSIONS
JOEY
It was Sunday night, Molloy was naked in my bed, sleeping soundly, with her head on my chest, and one of her legs draped over my thighs, and all I could think was; I can’t get deep enough inside of this girl.
It was a strange way to feel, considering I hadn’t spent much time out of her since last night, but I felt it anyway.
She had one of her random mix-CDs playing in the background, and as I listened to The Goo Goo Dolls’ Iris, I found myself considering something I’d never given much thought to before.
The future.
With one arm behind my head, and the other cupping her cheek, I stared up at my bedroom ceiling, deep in thought.
We had a little more than three months until we sat our leaving cert exams.
Afterwards, there would need to be a discussion, where we both laid our cards on the table and decided if they aligned with the others.