“See what I mean? Divorce isn’t the dead end people make it out to be. It’s a fork in the road to your true destination.”
“I might be more on board with your theories if you weren’t so dramatic about them.”
“We’ve been friends since high school.” He cuffs my shoulder. “It’s too late to pretend to be embarrassed now.”
“I clearly can’t be trusted to make good choices.”
“Speaking of good choices though, what’s this I hear from Trent about you buying his land?”
I’m hit with excitement at the thought of all those future plans and fill him in.
He nods. “Well, let me know if you need any help. With that many people about, you’re going to need to feed them somehow.”
“And let me guess, you’re happy to supply me?”
He cuffs my shoulder. “I thought you’d never ask. Don’t worry, we’ll work out a friends-and-family discount.”
“I don’t for a minute believe you give your family any kind of discount.”
Art laughs. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. But you’ll be buying in bulk, so we’ll sort something out.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Don’t thank me. This is pure selfishness. I’m hoping you’ll hire some gorgeous drill sergeant that I can flirt with every time I make a delivery.”
“You realize this place is a good year or so away, right?”
He shrugs. “That just means I have a year of sleeping around to get through first.”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but this settling down business is for me.”
Art smirks, big lips pulling up at the sides. “It’s a pity. I know a few guys who would have loved to get you naked.”
And somehow, that isn’t at all appealing to me. It actually sounds like too much energy, for little reward. “Well, they’re never going to get that chance now. With any luck, Beau is it for me.”
“Really?” Art glances around and tilts his head. “In the nicest way possible, how can you be sure? You’ve been wrong once, right? Aren’t you scared it will happen again?”
It’s a fair question. “I thought I would be at first. I didn’t think trust was possible again. But … there’s something I can’t even explain when I’m around Beau. This complete confidence that we’re made for each other, and I don’t doubt for a minute that he’s always been committed to me.”
“You didn’t think that with your ex?”
“Nope. Obviously I loved him, but it’s hard to explain. There was always that feeling of not being enough for him, no matter how hard I tried or how much I had. With Beau, I literally have nothing, and he wants me anyway.”
“Better you than me, brother.” He gestures toward the table. “Let’s get back to your man.”
We join the others, where Griffin is trying to explain his situation to Beau.
“So, your son leaves at the end of summer?” Beau asks.
“A little sooner. Felix is heading to Franklin U in California, so we’re taking a road trip across the country with his things, and then Poppy and I will come home and sort out the divorce.”
“Wow.”
Griffin nods. “One last family trip. It feels good to know things are finally happening.”
“You don’t think the trip will make you rethink things?” I ask.
“No way.” Griffin looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Heath has been counting down the days until he can get me laid.”
“Heath is …” Beau prompts.
“My ride or die. He’s been there for me through everything.”
I smile at Beau and tug him closer. “Having someone like that is invaluable.”
Griffin eyes us and then says, as though he can’t stop himself, “I know I talk a big talk, but I’ve only ever been with Poppy. I have no idea how I’m going to handle whatever comes next.”
Art plants a large hand on Griffin’s shoulder. “With our support. And Heath’s. We’re going to get you through this … and we’re sure as hell going to make sure you have all the sex you can handle.”
As the night goes on, Beau becomes more and more comfortable. Given his issues with meeting new people, it makes me so happy to see Beau joking around, even if he looks set to vibrate out of his skin.
That constant energy is always there, and it comforts me. Because it’s him.
Distinctly Beau.
And I’m fucking crazy about him.
32
Beau
A week later, and the paperwork is signed for Payne to take on the lease for the land.
“We’ll need a good name for when we launch,” he says, driving down the long driveway to get to the cottage on the grounds. He hasn’t stopped smiling, and while I wish I was paying for the place outright so he didn’t have to lease it, I’m not going to say anything when he looks as happy as he does right now.
On the way along, he’s been pointing out where he wants to put things and brainstorming what everything might look like once it’s finished. We clear the tree line and take the dirt road between the two main fields and pull up at the front of the house.
“Maybe I need to get some horses and a cowboy hat,” Payne says, jumping out of the car as soon as it’s off.
“Calm down there, Boston. The country air is going to your head.”
He grins and rattles the keys. “Should we see how bad it is inside? Trent said he stays here on the weekends he tends to the place, so it can’t be too bad, right?”
“We’re about to find out.” Secretly, I hope it’s a total shithole so Payne has no choice but to continue staying with me. Logically, I know he needs his own space if we want this thing between us to work. We need the chance to date properly before jumping into a full-blown relationship. That doesn’t mean it will be any easier when I have to go home to an empty apartment again though.
I follow Payne inside, and it’s … well, cute is the only word for it. There’s a wooden kitchen on one side, a small living area on the other, and doors leading to what I’m assuming are the bedroom and bathroom on the other side. It’s painted a happy blue color, with whitewashed hardwood floors and large windows letting in pools of sunlight.
“Damn …” I whisper.
Payne turns to me with a questioning look on his face.
I try for a smile. “I’m going to miss you. This place actually looks great.”
“I know.” He crosses back to me and wraps me in his arms. “It will be strange at first, and I know it’s hard to take someone at their word, but this isn’t going to change how I feel about you.”
I quickly nod. “I get that.” But I don’t really. What if this whole thing between us is some kind of friendly version of Stockholm syndrome? Or falling for his hero complex? What if all it takes is Payne finding his own place to realize everything he thinks he feels for me is a misconstrued rebound.
I don’t mention any of that though because I don’t want to put ideas in his head.
It’s just so hard to believe that after so long I could be getting exactly what I’ve always wanted.