“Come here.” Payne takes my hand and drags me over to the two doors. The first one opens to reveal a generous bedroom, and the second one that I assumed was a bathroom is … another bedroom? It’s much smaller than the first, but Payne strides inside and throws his arms out.
“What do you think?”
My eyebrows creep up. “Umm, it’s a nice, ah, space.”
He laughs, then walks to the wall closest to me. “I’m picturing a huge bookcase here—maybe I can try my hand at building one, and then there, by the window—” He walks to the place he’s pointing at. “—we can put your desk.”
“My desk?”
“But the best part?” Payne shoves aside the curtains to reveal an enormous window overlooking a pond, a part of the forest, and a huge clearing behind it. “No more feeling claustrophobic while you work.”
I stare at him with my mouth hanging open. “You want me to set up in here?”
“Well, I mean …” He rubs the back of his neck. “You don’t have to. I saw it on the plans and thought it would make the perfect office, but I know you didn’t like using your spare room, and if you’d prefer to only work at home …” He shakes his head. “Wow, I’m killing this. I only mean that I’d like you to be able to stay over whenever you like and then not have to rush home to work the next day. I know how anxious being away from your work for too long makes you.”
“You want me to stay over?”
“Well, yeah.”
“And set up my own space here?”
He shifts his weight to the other foot. “It would be nice to have. If I’m doing this whole business thing, I’ll probably need to throw a desk in here for me too.”
I’m hit with the most vivid image of me and Payne working in silence side by side, and I ache for that. For us to have that future. “Holy shit, yes, that would be so freaking perfect.”
Payne crosses the room and hauls me into a kiss. I have no idea how long it lasts for; all I know is the shivers rattling through my body are making me light-headed.
After writing a list of repairs needed for the cabin, we go for a walk around the grounds. We’ll spend time out here drawing up plans and spray-painting to-scale sizing in the grass another time, but for right now, we just want to enjoy it.
The smell of the trees, the bugs darting over the grass in the field, the hot sun beating down on us. I can see Payne here.
I can see him walking kids through obstacle courses and strapping others into a harness on the zipline he wants to install. He’s talking about a boot camp in the afternoons and a large meeting space for companies to come up from Boston and hire the place for the week. His ideas are big and exciting.
And dammit, he’s going to make them work. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to support him, but I’m trying to stay hands-off for now. This is Payne’s thing, and I’ll be involved as much or as little as he likes.
We approach the larger pond at the front of the house, and the heat is making my glasses slide down my nose. I’m about to suggest we head back inside when Payne turns me to face him.
“Is this okay? I don’t want to push or move too fast, but I can see a future here. With you.”
Lucky my man is pretty. “I’ve edged myself for twenty years. We could get married tomorrow and it wouldn’t be fast enough.”
His face falls. “Ah, about that. I’m not, umm … I don’t want that again. After everything that happened, the word ‘husband’ means nothing to me but heartbreak and broken promises. I don’t want to think of that when I look at you.”
“Fair.” I struggle to talk around my enormous smile. “And I don’t need that. I told you I only need you. That wasn’t me exaggerating.”
Payne lets out a long exhale. “Thank fuck. You deserve the world, but I think that’s the one thing I can’t promise.”
“My love doesn’t come with stipulations.”
His lips part, and for a whole second, I can’t understand the wide-eyed look he’s giving me. Then, “Love, huh?”
I could deny it and pretend like it’s nothing and this is all so totally casual, but … my heart won’t let me. “Are you surprised? I haven’t exactly been relaxed with how I feel about you. I’ve loved you for a really, really long time.”
“And here I was stressing it was too soon to say anything. Fuck, Beau, I love you too. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
I don’t know why, but that’s what helps me stop doubting things. Marty was right—Payne doesn’t mess around with people’s feelings, and once he sets his mind to something, he commits completely.
It might have taken twenty years for me to get to this point, but nothing has ever been more worth it.
EPILOGUE
Payne
One Year Later
“Beau?”
I let myself into his apartment with the key I never returned, and even though he said he’d be ready to go … I have no idea where he is.
I check his bedroom and the bathroom, then get back to the living room and pause, looking around, wondering if he somehow forgot I was picking him up in the hour since we spoke.
A light breeze tickles my side, and I turn toward it, finding the sliding door to the balcony cracked open.
I approach, no idea what I’m going to find, but when I slide open the door … it isn’t this.
Beau’s got earbuds in, leaning over the rail where he’s got … I’m not even sure what that is.
I approach without him noticing and lean over to look too.
Ah.
Bedsheets.
I nudge him, and Beau almost jumps out of his skin.
“Shit, I didn’t hear you,” he says, removing one of his earbuds.
“Clearly.” I nod toward the sheet. “What are we working out today?”
“If it’s actually possible for someone to tie bedsheets together and climb down the side of a building.”
I blink at him. “And how are you planning on testing that?”
Confusion crosses his face, and he waves toward the railing. “By putting it into practice.”
Of course he is. I plant my hands on his shoulders before steering him back inside. “Yeah, we’re not doing that.”
“But—”
“Here.” I give him a stern look. “After the party, we’ll head back to my place and test it out. The zip-line platform should be high enough, and I’ve got crash mats we can use and—”
He cuts me off with a kiss. “That sounds perfect.”
“Good. Now go get ready.” I smack his ass on the way past and hunt down the gift he bought for Soph to make sure we don’t forget it. Even though we’re a couple now and technically only have to get the one gift, neither of us wanted to deprive our nieces of being spoiled, so we both went shopping.
I find the gift bag in the laundry sink and hold back the urge to laugh.
He’s still as scatterbrained as ever, but since learning to write with music playing, he’s been able to get a cleaner in without it interrupting his work.
We hit the road and ten minutes later pull up out the front of Marty’s place. There’s a huge bouncing castle set up in the backyard and balloons dotted on the fence out the front.