Chapter 49
Jessie
I don抰 think I抳e ever been to a funeral before when it hasn抰 rained. It抯 fitting, isn抰 it? Almost like the sky is crying too. But there is no rain today. On the day of Patrick Ryan抯 funeral, the sun is shining brightly and the weather is hot and sticky. I stand between my four boys, who are all dressed smartly in suits and ties. They keep their heads bowed respectfully and anyone watching would think they were dutiful sons paying their respects. As the coffin is lowered into the ground a woman nearby wails loudly and I glance sideways at Mikey just in time to see him roll his eyes. I reach for his hand and squeeze and he winks at me.
Soon this will be over and we can go home.
Home. It is funny to be thinking of a place as my true home after such a long time of never feeling like I belonged anywhere. We have a flight booked for tomorrow morning. I was pleased to hear that Erin won抰 be joining us and even more pleased to hear she has decided to stay behind in Ireland. After the funeral today there will be a huge party, as is the tradition in Ireland, but we won抰 be at it. The boys and I, along with their Aunt Em and cousin Aoife, will go back to the house and have a barbecue and some drinks. Not to celebrate Patrick Ryan抯 life, or even his death, but because this is our last night and Em and Aoife don抰 want us to go. They have promised to visit though and I hope they do. I have loved getting to know them.
I will raise a silent toast to Patrick and Paul Ryan later though. They might have been sadistic psychopaths, but these four incredible men beside me wouldn抰 be here without them.
I sit on one of the lounge chairs with my face tilted toward the sun as I listen to the Ryan family chatting happily in the background, mostly about Aoife and Noel抯 upcoming wedding.
揑 wish you could stay for the wedding,?Aoife says with a sigh. 揑t抯 only two weeks away.?
揑 wish we could but we have to get back home,?Shane replies.
揧ou promised to visit after you抳e had the baby,?Mikey reminds her. 揥e抣l show you the best New York has to offer.?
揑抦 looking forward to visiting the States,?Em adds with a contented sigh.
I open my eyes and look at them all. 揇on抰 forget to send me lots of pictures of the day, Aoife. Especially your dress.?
She waddles over and sits beside me, groaning softly as she rubs her baby bump. 揑 will.?She takes my hand and squeezes it. 揑抦 going to miss you.?
揑抣l miss you too,?I say. 揂nd I definitely want tons of pictures of the bump when he or she arrives too. Okay??
揙h I抦 going to bombard you with them,?she laughs. 揧ou抣l be fed up of baby pictures.?
揧ou want a top up??I ask as I see her empty glass of lemonade.
揧es please.?She holds out her glass to me.
I walk back to the house, passing Shane as I do. 揅an you help me with the drinks??
揙f course,?he replies with a frown because everyone except Aoife has a full glass.
揈verything okay??he asks once we抮e inside the house.
I swallow hard. I don抰 know how to tell him this, but I have been thinking a lot about my future and what I want in my life and for the first time in forever, I am certain about what that is. 揑 need to talk to you,?I whisper.
He narrows his eyes at me. 揙kay.?
揥ith all this talk of Aoife and Noel抯 wedding, I remembered that I finally have an answer for you.?
揂n answer??
揧our proposal, remember? In Em抯 garden. Me marrying Conor??
揙h? Yeah.?His Adam抯 apple bobs as he swallows hard.
I take a deep breath. I need to just tell him quickly and get it over with. It抯 just like ripping off a Band-Aid, right?
Chapter 50
Six months later
Jessie
Smoothing my beautiful silk dress over my thighs, I smile at Aoife as she hands me my bouquet. It is a stunning mix of red, white and olive green roses, with blue tulips.
揧ou look fabulous, Jessie.?She gives me a soft kiss on my cheek. 揑 have never seen a smile so wide,?she adds with a chuckle.
揟hank you, Aoife,?I say. I feel so nervous my legs and hands are shaking, but my smile is real. I am excited and happy beyond belief. Today is my wedding day and I cannot wait to start this new chapter of my life.
揑抣l see you out there.?Aoife flashes her eyebrows at me before she leaves me standing in the room alone. I look out of the huge double doors of the beautiful log cabin that Shane has had built in the last six months, at that spot on the lake where he took me a little over a year ago. It seems like a lifetime ago now.
I look out at the beautiful gardens as I prepare to make my way towards the small arch of roses and ivy near the lake where the ceremony is about to take place. I have no-one to walk me down the aisle today, but that doesn抰 matter to me. I feel my family by my side, and of course I am now starting a new one too.
I step out onto the decking and onto the small stone path. My head is down; I抦 almost frightened to look up in case this is all a dream, but then I take a deep breath and do it. It is Conor抯 eyes I see first. He stands there in his tux looking finer than I have ever seen him look before, and that really is a feat. He smiles when he sees me and it抯 a smile that almost takes my breath away. He nudges Mikey who stands beside him, deep in conversation with his twin brother. Mikey and Liam look up too and I bite my lip as they stare at me. Tears prick at my eyes as Liam puts a hand over his heart and Mikey blows me a kiss. They look just as handsome as their older brother.
But where is Shane? My heart skips a beat as I scan the small alcove and he is not there. I know this day is not going to be easy for him. But then he steps out from behind the trees and my heart almost stops beating in my chest as he looks up at me and our eyes lock. I am close enough now that I see the deep green of his irises and it takes my breath away when I see the tears in them.
Is this too hard for him? As Conor puts a hand on his older brother抯 shoulder, it breaks the spell between us and Shane takes his place next to Conor.
When I reach them, I suck in a deep breath. I can抰 believe we抮e really doing this.
揧ou look厰 Conor shakes his head, unable to finish his sentence.
揃eautiful.?Shane finishes for him.
揧eah. You look hot, Red,?Mikey grins while Liam winks at me.
揟hank you,?I whisper and then the five of us stand there staring at each other.
揂re we ready??Aunt Em clears her throat, making us all turn toward her. She is officiating this wedding today. Not that she is licensed to, but this wedding isn抰 exactly traditional.
揧es,?Conor says with a firm nod of his head.
揧es,?I breathe.
揟hen let抯 begin,?Aunt Em says. 揑 know we抮e doing this your own unique way, so do you boys have the rings??
揧up,?Mikey says as he pulls one from his pocket.
I bite on my lip as Mikey takes hold of my hand and slides the beautiful thin platinum band onto my finger. It is set with a small, but exquisite ruby. 揜ed, because you抣l always be our Red, and because it抯 the color of love,?he says.
I swallow the lump in my throat as Liam steps up next. 揃lue for those incredible baby blues of yours,?he says as he slides the second band onto my finger which has a small sapphire stone. It slides against the first one perfectly, the two stones sitting slightly adjacent and the platinum shaped to fit together like a jigsaw.
Conor steps up next. He takes my hand in his and brushes his fingertips over my knuckles before he slips the third band onto my hand which is set with an emerald. 揂nd green for all the Irish in you,?he smiles at me and I giggle.