“Thanks.” Grinning, he caught a hold of my hand, and led us towards the main building. “I look forward to your comeback, Molloy.”
“Oh, you better believe it’s coming, Joe,” I replied, entwining my fingers with his.
We were crossing the teacher’s carpark when a familiar Honda Civic flashed its lights.
I felt Joey stiffen beside me, and my heart plummeted into my chest.
No.
No.
No.
“Joey, don’t.” I tightened my hold on him. “Just ignore him.”
“He’s clearly here for me.”
“So?” I clutched him tighter. “Just keep walking.”
“Molloy.”
“Please don’t.”
The sound a car horn beeping erupted.
“I better go see what he wants,” he muttered, gaze flicking to where Shane Holland was signaling him over. “I’ll meet you in class.”
No.
No.
“Joey.”
“I’m just going to talk to him,” he assured me. “Just talk. That’s it, Molloy.”
I stared up at his face, soaking in the image of his clear, focused eyes, and made a silent vow to God that I would rain hell down on that asshole Shane if my boyfriend returned to me in any other condition.
“Promise me,” I heard myself beg. “Promise me, Joe.”
“Everything is fine,” he soothed, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. “Stop worrying.” He kissed me again. “I’ll meet you in class,” he added, giving my chin a playful nudge with his fist before he turned on his heels and jogged across the carpark.
Feeling sick to my stomach now, I clutched the straps of my school bag and stomped towards the entrance of the school, growing more agitated with every step I took away from him.
“Is that Shane Holland?” Shannon asked in a small voice, as she stood under a tree near the front door of the school, with a look of concern etched on her face that resembled the one on mine. “I thought he was gone.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “So did I.”
“Cunt.”
Shannon’s breath hitched, and she shifted closer to me.
“Yeah, you heard me, cunt!”
I hated that word.
There were few words in the English language that I chose to avoid, but that particular one was not included in my vocabulary.
Swinging around, I locked eyes on none other than Ciara Maloney and Hannah Daly.
Two vicious little bitches from the year below me that needed to be taken down a peg or ten.
“Now.” Taking a firm stance in front of my boyfriend’s sister, I planted my hands on my hips, and arched a brow, “Which one of you thick fuckers has a death wish?”
“We weren’t talking to you,” Ciara replied, trying to act tough, but withering now that she was faced with someone older, taller, and stronger. “We meant her.”
“Her?” I looked around me. “Who’s her?”
“Me,” Shannon whispered, trembling behind me. “It’s me.”
“If by her, you’re referring to my fella’s sister, then I’ll give you a five second head-start to get the fuck out of her face before I cut your ponytail off and strangle you with it.”
“Stay out of this, Aoife,” Hannah tried to interject, glancing around nervously. “This isn’t your fight.”
“If you fight her, you fight me,” I warned, as unaffected by their bullshit as I was unwilling to back down. “So, are we fighting, or are you bitches keeping your hair for another day? I’m down either way.”
They both looked at each other and then Shannon before shaking their heads and stalking off in the direction of the main building.
When they were out of sight, Shannon released a huge breath and clutched the sleeve of my jumper. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“I know.”
“They might go after you next.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’d like to see them try. And if they go near you again, all you need to do is come and find me. It doesn’t matter if I’m in class or not. Just come and find me and I’ll help you, okay?”
She looked up at me with the biggest blue eyes I’d ever seen, so full of sadness and uncertainty, and whispered, “Why?”
“Because I love your brother, and your brother loves you. Keeping you safe is important to him, which makes it important to me.” Smiling, I threw my arm over her skinny little shoulders and walked her into school. “And who knows? Maybe in time, you’ll be coaxed out of that pretty little shell, and we can be friends.”
“You want to be my friend?”
“Is that okay with you?”
“Yes.” She nodded uncertainly. “Please.”
My heart cracked in my chest.
She was so small.
So vulnerable.
So broken.
“Then it’s official.” I gave her a reassuring hug as I walked her down the corridor to class, making sure that every catty bitch in this school got a good look at us. “We’re friends.”
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
SEPTEMBER 1ST 2004
JOEY
I didn’t need anyone to tell me what a piece of shit I was, my conscience was more than willing to do that, as it screamed liar with every step that I took closer to the car.
It had been screaming at me last night, too, when I sent that text.
Now, as I found myself climbing into the passenger seat beside him, I felt a level of self-loathing that I hadn’t plummeted to before.
“Lynchy,” Shane said the minute I climbed into the car. “You look like hell.”
No shit Sherlock.
“Yeah.” Knees bopping restlessly, I blew out a shaky breath. “I feel like it, too.”
Last night was the closest I’d come to cracking up in a very long time.
After finally calming the kids down and persuading them to go to bed, I’d necked a few of my mam’s valium to calm me the fuck down and help me get some sleep.
The only problem with that had been the fact that my old man decided to make a reappearance in the middle of the night, which meant that I had been too strung out to defend myself when his fists started swinging.
When I woke up this morning, it was to a body of bruises, and a mind that had hit its limit.
I couldn’t fucking do this anymore.
I couldn’t.
I tried.
I did.
I tried so hard to be good, but it never seemed to matter, because nothing was going to change for me.
I was never getting away from that house, not while the kids were still there, which meant that in order to survive another day in hell, I found myself breaking promises and slipping back into old habits.
“Was surprised to get your message last night, kid,” he stated. “Haven’t heard from you for a while.
Twist the fucking knife why don’t you.
“Thought you switched up suppliers or something.”
No, I want to keep my legs.
“Listen, lad, it’s like I said last night; I just need some benzos. Same as always. Just something to relax my brain.” Reaching into my pocket, I grabbed the folded wad of cash and dropped it on his lap. “It’s all there.”
He picked up the cash and counted it before offering me a clipped nod.