“Hm.”
“Hey, Joe?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad that I waited,” she whispered, curling her arm around my neck. “It meant more with you.”
What was I supposed to say to that?
We both knew I couldn’t say the same.
Blowing out a breath, I went with the truth and said, “It never meant anything before you.”
“Aw,” she teased. “You’re a sweet slut.”
I grinned. “Thanks.”
I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I’M TALKING TO
OCTOBER 18TH 2004
AOIFE
Joey didn’t show up to school today.
I knew this because I’d waited an abnormal length of time, standing in the rain outside of school, waiting on him to arrive.
All of my calls had gone straight to voicemail, and I wasn’t ashamed to say that I was beyond worried.
Shannon wasn’t at school either, which put me on red alert.
I knew his sister was having even more problems than usual with some of the girls at school. While I had warned off a group of little bitches when I caught them hassling her in the bathroom, I knew there was a war raging.
By the time school ended, I got in my car and headed straight for Elk’s Terrace, with a pain in my chest, and a knot in my stomach.
"Back like a bad smell," his father sneered, when he opened the front door and locked his menacing brown eyes on me. "You're here so often, you should start paying fucking rent."
Asshole.
I’d been here a grand total of three times and had only bumped into him on one of those occasions.
"Funny,” I deadpanned. “I could say the same thing about you."
His eyes narrowed. "What did you say to me?"
My hands itched from the urge I had to lunge forward and avenge my boyfriend.
Instead, I offered him a cold stare. "Only that you're here enough that you should be contributing. Instead of having your teenage son shoulder your dead weight."
"You cheeky little whore," he snarled, hand tightening on the door. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
"Oh, I know exactly who I’m talking to,” I snapped right back. Folding my arms across my chest I let him know in no uncertain terms that he didn’t wield an ounce of power or control over me. “Now, is Joey here or not?”
Whatever he saw on my face in that moment caused him to back down. “No, he’s down the station with the other one.”
“The Garda station?” my heartrate spiked. “With who – Shannon?”
He gave me a clipped nod. “He’s missing an important fucking training session for her, too.”
“Why?” My eyes widened. “What happened to her?”
“Some young ones gave her a hiding on the way to school.” There was no emotion in his voice, no affection or concern. He truly didn’t care about his daughter. About any of his children. “That girl has never brought anything but hassle to her mother.”
No, that’s you, dick.
Not bothering to say goodbye, I turned on my heels and made my way back to where I had parked my car.
“You know,” he called after me. “If you ever get tired of letting my young fella dick ya, you could always let his old man show you how it’s really done?”
“No thanks,” I called over my shoulder, repressing the urge to show weakness and shudder. “That young fella of yours is more than capable of keeping me satisfied.”
“Prick-tease,” he muttered after me.
I rolled my eyes. “Scumbag.”
DO YOU THINK THEY’LL LEAVE ME ALONE NOW?
OCTOBER 18TH 2004
JOEY
“How are you feeling now, Shan?” I asked, as I sat opposite my sister in the chipper, and watched as she toyed with the same chip that she’d been holding for ten minutes. “Any better?”
“I’m okay, Joe,” she replied, voice barely more than a whisper. Her eyes glazed over as she clearly drifted in and out of her thoughts.
She wasn’t eating again, and I was fucking terrified of letting it go to a stage where she couldn’t come back from it.
I knew all about falling over the edge of bullshit, and I didn’t want that for my sister.
“Just eat another five chips,” I coaxed, pushing the tray closer to her. “I won’t ask for any more than five.”
“I’m not anorexic, Joe,” she explained weakly, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I’m just…I’m just…” she exhaled a ragged breath before whispering, “not well.”
Yeah, I knew how that felt.
When I didn’t feel well, I self-medicated.
When my sister didn’t feel well, she starved herself half to death.
Her reaction to stress was as real to her as mine was to me.
But that didn’t make it easy for me to sit back and watch, especially when everything inside of me demanded that I fix this.
That I fix her.
I couldn’t blame her for feeling the way she did.
On the way to school this morning, she’d been jumped by Ciara Maloney and Hannah Daly.
I wasn’t with her, because I’d hung back to have a smoke with a few of the lads from my road.
I had never felt so goddamn helpless in my life, when I finally caught up with her and saw her getting attacked.
They were accusing her of being with Ciara’s fella.
Shannon.
The same Shannon who had never glanced sideways at the opposite sex, let alone robbed someone’s fella.
It was beyond absurd, and I couldn’t hit them to get them off her.
I couldn’t do a damn thing, because as much as I willing to return the favor to their brothers and boyfriends, they were nowhere to be seen in the moment, and I would rather slit my wrists than put hands on a female.
Those bitches knew that which meant that all I could do was drag her out from beneath them and shield her small body with mine.
“Do you think they’ll leave me alone now?” she asked, thankfully taking a bite of a chip. “Do you think that’ll be the end of it now that we’ve made a statement to the Gards?”
No, I didn’t think it was going to be the end of it, but I certainly wasn’t about to tell my fragile baby sister that.
“Yeah, Shan.” Offering her a reassuring smile, I took a bite of the burger she’d left untouched. “The Gards are going to go over to Ciara’s house and give her a right good talking to.” Which wouldn’t work, just like last time. “It’s going to get better. I promise.”
The minute the word promise came out of my mouth, Shannon smiled at me, and I knew that I’d fed that demon of insecurity that lived inside of her just enough to keep it at bay for a while.
“Talk to me about something else,” she said then, thankfully eating another chip. “Something that’s not depressing.”
Our whole world was one big depression.
“Like what, Shan?”
“Your girlfriend,” she said and smiled knowingly. “Aoife.”
“Aoife,” I mused, swallowing another bite of my burger. “What do you want to know?”
“She’s very beautiful, Joe.”
“Yeah, I know, Shan.”
“Like seriously stunning,” she offered. “The boys in third year are always talking about her.”