I’m just… I have to be honest with him, soon. I can’t continue to hold this secret, knowing it will destroy us as the seconds tick by. I keep telling myself that I’ll find the right time, and that I’ll stop being a coward, but is there such a thing as perfect timing? A right time to break the heart of the man you are falling in love with?
“Guys are here, babe.” He turns me toward him, sliding his hands along my jaw, and kisses me so sweetly that a part of me simply withers away at the gentleness of his lips. Then his hands are gone and I already miss the loss of them. He walks out the bathroom door and then turns around at the last second, his hair falling in his eyes. I can see confusion written on his face.
“Where’s that thing that you strap on you? For Olive?”
It takes me a minute to figure out what he’s talking about.
“The BabyBjörn?”
He nods. “The baby carrier thing, so I can wear her.”
Part of me actually melts onto the floor at the thought of Briggs wearing our child. This surly, tall, sexy man proudly wearing his baby girl makes my ovaries a bit too excited.
"Why are you looking at me like that?” His brow furrows.
“Just thinking maybe we should have another baby,” I squeak jokingly, until his eyes darken with desire.
“Tell me when, and I’ll gladly put another baby in your belly, Maddison,” he rasps.
“Oh god, please leave. I can’t do this right now. Hall closet, at the top. Bye.”
He smirks. “Bye baby.” And is out the door, leaving me debating if I have lost my mind entirely and if every bit of it is due to Briggs.
The place Holland chose is one that I've been dying to go to since it opened, but it is next to impossible to get reservations to unless you know someone… influential. Which, I guess when you’re married to one of the best hockey players in the city, actually the country, you have the ability to make it happen.
Joy Lounge is a lounge in downtown Chicago that has a rooftop bar with some of the best views of the city, and she couldn't have picked a comfier, more relaxed atmosphere for our girls’ night.
“I can’t believe you got us a table here,” I all but squeal as we walk through the entrance.
Her face lights up. “I’ve been dying to go since it opened, and when I told Reed about our girls’ night, he was able to call in a favor with his friend Roddy, apparently he and his sister own it!”
“Wow,” Juliet stammers. She’s wearing a fitted black cocktail dress and heels that make her calves look amazing. Holland went with a pantsuit and top that ties at the waist, hanging off the shoulder and a bold eye look.
They both look amazing, and suddenly I feel a bit underdressed in the pencil skirt and plain top I went with.
“You both look amazing,” I tell them. We’re waiting at the hostess stand for our table, and Holland looks down at her outfit.
“Thank you. Honestly, these pants hide my stomach, and I am all for it,” Holland says, gesturing to the sash tied around her waist.
Juliet raises her hand. “Girl, preaaach, the only reason I could even fit in this damn thing is because I have Spanx on, cutting off my circulation and holding all of my rolls in. Let’s be real.”
With that, my self-consciousness immediately disappears. They’re both so effortlessly beautiful, I forget that they’re moms too and like me, they have insecurities too. It makes me feel immensely better.
“Okay, I'm so glad you two said something because this is the only outfit I could find that I even remotely liked. I feel like I’ve gained so much weight after having Olive. I miss my old body.”
Juliet reaches out and places her hand on my arm. “Girl, you are not alone. Trust me, we are right there with you. If you ever need someone to vent to or cry because your jeans won’t button, we are your girls.”
“Yes, what she said. Let’s go take a look at this place while we wait, what do you think?”
Holland links her arm in mine, and when I nod, we go on an impromptu tour of the lounge. We take the elevator to the rooftop bar that has large, u-shaped wooden benches with comfy patterned cushions scattered around. To the right, there’s a wall that spells “joy” in the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen, and there are a ton of girls taking selfies and group shots there.
“Wow, this place is amazing. I’m so glad we got to come.” Holland squeals in excitement. We find an empty bench on the far side of the rooftop bar that’s quieter, and still well-lit by the strand of lights that are roped across the entire floor.
“Here would be perfect. What do you think?” Juliet asks, gesturing to the spot.
“For sure.”
My phone rings inside my purse, so I quickly fish it out while Juliet and Holland chat over the drink menu.
I can’t help the smile that blooms on my lips when I see it’s a text from Briggs.
Briggs: I fucking miss you.
Grinning, I quickly type a message back:
Maddison: Miss you too! How is Olive?
A photo pops up seconds later of Olive strapped in the baby carrier, strapped to Briggs’ chest where he’s smiling with Graham, Reed, and Hudson. He captioned it “guys’ day out + olive.”
My heart squeezes at the photo, and I turn it around to show Holland and Juliet.
“Okay, girl, seriously, there is nothing hotter than a man and a baby, tell me I’m wrong,” Holland says.
“Seriously. Come on, spill, we want all the details!” Juliet quips.
The waitress comes up just as I’m about to speak, even though I have no idea where to really start when it comes to Briggs and me. We all give her our drink order. I stick with trusty white wine, while the other girls get more adventurous and order something fruity and frozen from the menu.
"Well… I guess I’m technically the statistic that no one wants to talk about. I got pregnant after we spent the weekend together at my grandparents’ inn on Lake Geneva.”
Holland and Juliet look at each other then back at me, their eyes pleading with me to go on. I guess it’s good to know that our situation hasn’t been talked about, even within his friend group.
“We basically never exchanged last names, or numbers, and I could tell that Briggs wanted his anonymity, so I respected that. We shared a bottle of cheap tequila and well… the rest of the weekend we spent together. Then, I left on Sunday because, I don’t know… I just knew that our worlds were so different, and I wouldn’t have a place in his life, and I didn’t want to complicate the weekend that we spent together.”
Holland scoots closer to me and puts her hand on my arm in comfort.
“Then, I found out I was pregnant, and the rest is history. Now Olive is our world. Only recently… did we decide to explore a relationship between us. It was really important to me that we put our parenting relationship first. I don’t ever want something to come between Olive and her daddy. Now, we’re just learning to be a couple… and be Olive’s parents.”
Juliet speaks up next, “I know how that feels. You see when I met Liam, I was his nanny.”
“Wow.”
She nods. “Yeah, it was a seriously crazy situation. We tried too hard to keep things professional, and he was such a grumpy ass. It was the only way that he could separate his feelings for me from the professional relationship. His little girls, Ari and Kennedy, and I fell in love, and then so did Liam and me. It’s kind of funny… looking back, had we just communicated better, things would have been so much easier, but you live and learn, I guess.”