Niall watched with the fury of a madman on his features. But I didn’t know why he cared what I did with Mateo, he was getting married to his flouncy titted bride. Not that I cared about her or her giant beluga tits either. He could marry them too if he liked and shove them up his butt on their honeymoon. Whatever Trevor.
I looked down at my perky boobs, pushing my arms together a little to try and get some cleavage going within my hot pink strappy bodysuit. I’d paired it with a ripped denim skirt that had two skeleton hands stitched over my ass cheeks. It looked cute. Or at least I had thought it did until I let thoughts of tall, blonde, Russian, big-titted women push into my mind and couldn’t help but think about the way I was just a tiny, ebony-haired, plain old American, perky tits girl who was ‘too young’， though I hadn’t quite figured out what the numbers had to do with anything. I was as mature as an old cheese and as worldly as a goat on a hill. I’d seen things. Done things. Just like that goat. So who cared if I didn’t have any butt wrinkles yet – were butt wrinkles even all that desirable anyway?
“The one on yer kill list.” Niall took my kill rock from his pocket, sliding it across the table and I gasped, grabbing it and hugging it to my chest. Rocksie.
“You kept it?” I breathed and Niall shrugged one shoulder.
“Sure I did. Why would I throw away a perfectly good rock?”
Mateo gave him a dry look then turned his attention back to me, every crime he’d ever committed written into his features. He was danger lurking in the forest, death riding a black tide, and hell did it give me the flutters.
“You got some of them?” I breathed as I stared at my murder rock, my eyes going all wide and adoring as I looked at the names which had now been struck out. I looked up and found Niall smirking back at me like the cat who’d gotten the bean.
“He helped,” Mateo said, his hand moving to grasp my chin and drawing me around to look at him as his fingertips dug in. “Do you want me to tell you about the way their blood felt as it speckled my skin?”
A moan escaped me, all filthy and sexual and full of desire, and I nodded as I stared up at this dark creature of mine who had wetted himself in the blood of my enemies.
“Tell me about the crunchy bones and the stabby stabs, Dead Man,” I begged breathlessly, heat burning between my thighs. “Tell me about when the screams were hushed and the blood turned cool against your skin.”
Niall took the remote for the shock collar from his pocket and zapped my Dead Man good, making his hand fall from my face as he fell from his stool, and I pouted as I turned my glare on him.
“I want a turn with the zappy,” I demanded and Niall gave me a heated look which made my toes curl.
“Later,” he promised and I swallowed as I considered that, nodding my agreement and hoping he gave me a good one when the time came. The kind that sent the zips and zaps right to my clit and had me writhing like a snake in the sun on the ground. “I think you said something about killing the Lucille bitch earlier?” he added, offering me a Sharpie, and I smirked like a hell cat as I took it.
“I did,” I agreed, striking her name from the rock with a flourish before twisting it and marking off Small Willy Norman too. “And Jack snapped Small Willy’s neck for me with his bare hands. It was so hot, Hellfire, you should have seen it.”
“I’ve snapped plenty of necks with my bare hands,” he replied with a scoff as Mateo managed to get to his hands and knees on the floor beside me. “Ain’t nothing fancy about that.”
“Yeah, but AJ did it with pizazz,” I protested. “It was something special.”
“I have pizazz,” Niall growled. “And dramatic flair. And I can speak in full sentences.”
“Yeah, but Jack can convey full speeches with a single word,” I pointed out. “It’s beautiful in its simplicity. He’s a deep soul.”
“About as deep as a puddle,” Niall grumbled.
“Yeah, the ocean puddle,” I shot back. “Besides, he killed someone on my list and he did it for me, so you can’t be mean to him. It’s the rules.”
“What rules?”
“The club rules,” I growled, knowing he knew that and was just trying to spite me by pretending he didn’t.
“We ain’t no club.”
“We are, and Jack is in it now too.”
“He absolutely isn’t,” Niall snarled just as the sound of Jack breaking something in the basement reached our ears.
Mateo cursed as he hauled himself back up onto his stool, saying something in his language which most definitely threatened violence and made my muscles clench in a yummy kind of way. But he must have liked it a little because he said the word ‘coño’ and that definitely meant thank you.
“Enough about non-existent clubs,” Niall barked. “Tell me more about this armadillo.”
I frowned, shaking my head fiercely. “There’s no armadillo, Hellfire. And even if one chewed my legs off and called me a flat tit bitch, I wouldn’t want to hurt it.”
“So why’d ya put one on your list, woman?” Niall demanded, pointing at Rocksie which was now down to only two names, and I had to admit the knowledge of all that bloodshed happening on my behalf and by my hands was making me flustered.
“I didn’t,” I growled, having no idea what he was talking about. Sometimes he really was a riddler on a hot tin roof. “Would you contradict the armadillo if it said that, Niall?”
“Said what?” he asked, stuffing more pancake into his mouth and speaking through it.
“That I’m a flat tit bitch?” I glanced at him then to Mateo, wondering if either of them would fight an armadillo for the honour of my tits. Or if my tits just weren’t worth invoking the wrath of an armadillo for.
“Why the fuck would I waste my time contradicting an armadillo when I could be off killin’？” Niall scoffed and hurt flashed through me as I pouted.
“So you agree with the armadillo now?” I asked, trying to hide my hurt, but Mateo was watching me closely like he could see through every crack in my perfectly polished armour.
Niall shrugged like he wasn’t listening anymore and I grabbed a knife from the table, slamming it down into the wood.
“Well maybe I would kill an armadillo.”
“Mi sol,” Mateo growled, leaning in close so his hot breath fanned against my neck. Ooh I loved when he did that. His breath was a heated breeze sent straight from the depths of hell to stir the sin in me. “Tell us who else is on that list.”
My gaze moved from his intense eyes to his tempting mouth then I let my eyes fall all the way down to my murder rock.
“Ooh, can we kill the judge next?” I asked as I spotted the name of the man who’d shown me no mercy after I’d been terrorised at school by those monstrous bullies and gotten stabby with a couple of them. Cedric Rawlings.
“Killing a man of that position will need some careful consideration,” Mateo said slowly.
“And who says you’re a part of this discussion, el burro?” Niall sniped at him.
“I do,” I said firmly. “He’s part of our gang. We’re The Clit Clan, The Club of Death, The Axe Swinging Bandits, The Pink Pussy and the Muscle Men.”