I pointed out that not only had I never once found myself under scrutiny by the law because I was as wily as a fox in a top hat - and a little because my pa had enough lawmen in his pocket to bail me outa trouble if ever I got into any - but that if ever I was arrested, I’d likely just go on a killing spree to free myself. So those la dee da credentials of hers weren’t much help to me. I also told her that I didn’t have my own money and that I lived on handouts from my pa, which was bullshit, but I didn’t much care about that. I got wired plenty of cash from fellas who wanted to hire me for a hit, but that money was more secret than a dollar bill tucked up a snake’s vagina.
Wait…did snakes have vaginas?
I whipped my phone out to check the whole vagina/egg snake situation and got some pretty confusing answers.
“Holy shit,” I barked, making Anastasia drop her fork in surprise as my fist landed on the table and made everything sitting on it rattle. “Snakes have two penises!”
“What?” She scowled at me, no doubt because she’d been harping on about her years of gymnastics training and how flexible that had left her, but I had no interest in her bendy bullshit.
“Two penises,” I repeated. “And so do sharks! Fuck me, I need more information on this because Spider is going to lose her shit when she finds out. Unless she doesn’t believe me. And maybe she won’t because it’s only come from the man in the phone, and we all know you can’t trust him.” I shoved to my feet. “I’m going to need to find a shark. Or a snake. Or both. Ideally both. Do you have any idea where such a hunt could begin?”
Anastasia was staring at me like I’d fully lost the plot and I realised that I’d gone off script here. It was an unfortunate habit I had of running my mouth to follow every errant thought in my head, but I happened to think that an inquisitive mind was an interesting one. So fuck her gymnastics bullshit because this was real prime information I was gathering here.
My fiancée blinked and suddenly she was smiling, getting to her feet too and revealing all twelve inches of her skirt which looked in danger of flashing her lady parts to me at any moment. I had no interest in a meeting with her eager beaver, so my gaze didn’t linger there.
“I happen to have a tank with a shark in my suite,” she said, her voice dropping in a way I was guessing was meant to seduce me and I sighed.
“If the ‘shark’ turns out to be you naked, I think we’ve already had this conversation, glove,” I reminded her.
Anastasia tittered a laugh like me rejecting her point blank hadn’t enraged her one bit and shook her head.
“It’s a real shark, I promise. I live here full time and his name is Finley.” She took my arm and I reluctantly let her tug me along, snatching my glass and emptying it for the final time before tossing it to the closest Russian stooge.
He just about caught it and I grinned widely as I recognised the fella I’d pegged for Anastasia’s side piece the last time I saw him, noting the furious look of jealous rage in his eyes as he watched her lead me away towards the elevators.
“Don’t look so glum, buddy,” I told him. “You’re welcome to have a round with her once she gives up on trying to climb my pole.”
Anastasia’s fingernails bit into my arm through the fabric of my suit and I looked down at her mildly, wondering what she might want to say on the subject of me not wanting to fuck her.
“Regardless of what we do behind closed doors, I won’t allow you to speak about me like that when we are in the company of others,” she hissed, a warning in her eyes which said she really would do something about it if I pulled a stunt like that again.
“You know, you’re an objectively attractive woman, glove,” I told her as we reached the elevator and she pushed the button to call it. “So why waste your time trying to win over a worthless fucker like me when you could have your pick elsewhere?”
She didn’t reply until the elevator opened and we were sealed away behind the golden doors, rising up towards her rooms where she no doubt planned to try and seduce me again.
“Tell me what it is,” she hissed, pressing a hand to my chest and shoving me back against the wall. “Do you prefer men?”
I barked a humourless laugh. “My life would be a whole lot easier if I did,” I shot back.
“It’s okay if you do. I don’t mind bringing others to the bedroom if you require them,” she pressed and I just rolled my eyes.
“I appreciate the offer, but it isn’t a sexual preference issue.”
“So you prefer women?” she pushed and I clucked my tongue.
“Yes.”
“Blondes?”
“Ebony is more my thing,” I shot back, my mind instantly filling with a picture of my little psycho as she moaned beneath the shock of her collar for me.
I swallowed thickly, trying to force the image away but Anastasia was smiling as I focused on her once more, her hand shifting down my body and making me frown before she grasped my dick in her hand and moaned in appreciation. Mostly because for some unknown reason, the thing was rock fucking hard and ready for action.
It definitely wasn’t about her. And I refused to believe that small memory of Spider woulda brought on the straining hard-on so fast, but I had little else to pin it to.
I snatched Anastasia’s throat into my grip and shoved her back, knocking her against the wall of the elevator and snarling at her as her hand fell from my cock and her eyes widened in lustful surprise.
“You’re gonna wanna keep your hands offa me, glove,” I warned.
“I knew you’d be huge,” she panted, not seeming to mind the manhandling so much and I shoved away from her, not liking the way she was looking at me one bit. “You’re the kind of man a girl can feel between her thighs days after the event, aren’t you?”
“I’m the kind of man who doesn’t fuck anyone, so I’d have no idea how long they might feel the after effects for,” I replied, turning my back on her just as the elevator arrived on her floor and stepping out.
“Is that what you like? Purity?” she asked, hurrying after me despite my long stride and running her hand down my arm.
“I’ve warned you not to keep touching me,” I said.
“I can do pure if you like that,” she went on like I hadn’t spoken. “I can do afraid too if that’s what you want? Is it normally your victims who get to enjoy your appetites-”
“No,” I barked, jerking to a halt and rearranging my still rock-solid cock in my pants as the corridor spun a little. Fuck, I was drunk. And whatever high that pill she’d slipped me had been intended to provide was not making an appearance.
Anastasia cocked her head at me like I was a puzzle she was in the midst of solving. She turned to a door before she figured it out though, opening it and ushering me inside.
I was about to tell her goodnight and leave before she asked me another question which could so easily end in her strangulation, but I spotted the enormous aquarium inside her suite before I could get the words out and forgot about them anyway.
“Is it a boy shark?” I asked, heading into the room and walking straight up to the tank.