More tears flowed down her cheeks, this time for all the damage she’d done to her marriage. It was as if she had decided she didn’t deserve happiness and had been trying her best to sabotage anything good. She stared into Brody’s hazel eyes; saw the kindness, the compassion, the patience he’d shown while she’d wallowed in her own misery and depression; and realized he was a good man. This was her husband. And she’d been such a jerk for such a long time.
She reached out a hand and laid it against his cheek, even as her bottom lip trembled. She bit it, forcing herself to stop crying. “I love you, Brody Devlin. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done and said.”
Instead of answering, he lowered his mouth to hers. Annie surrendered herself to her husband’s kiss, emotions clogging her heart. She’d finally found her way out of her fog. She wanted to stay like this for a long time, safe in his arms and the possibility of finding Serena alive still real.
But the next moment, the womp, womp of a helicopter drawing nearer made them both look up. The helicopter from Oahu was finally here. Maybe now they’d be able to spot Serena from above, clinging to a piece of wood, waiting to be rescued. Annie wanted so badly to believe that was possible that she squeezed her eyes shut and made a wish, as if she were a little girl. When her eyes opened, she saw a car driving down the cul-de-sac toward them. It was a police car, probably coming to update them. As the officer parked and got out, Annie tensed. She steeled herself for the worst as she watched him walk toward them, his shoulders hunched forward against the rain. Brody pulled her in against his chest, anchoring her to him as only he knew she needed right now. And together, they turned to face the policeman, who halted in front of them.
46
“Annie-ah. Drink this.”
Annie looked up. She’d crawled into bed after a hot shower and after Brody had taken care of the scratches on her face, the cuts from the wine bottle on her legs, and her various bruises and scrapes from her struggle with Serena. Seeing her father at the bedroom door, she pushed herself up to a seated position. Marley was on the bed with her, clean from the bath Sam had given him. He picked up his head and looked at Annie’s father. Annie was going to take him to the vet the next morning to make sure he was okay. The dog had refused to leave her side from the moment she’d come back into the Ohana.
Her father walked over and passed her a steaming mug filled with who-knew-what. Annie made a face at the herbal scent emanating from it. Of course her father would be pushing herbs on her. It was always his go-to for any crisis.
“Drink it. It will help you.”
Annie looked at her father, and he scowled at her. She took a tentative sip. She looked up at him in surprise and took another sip, a bigger one this time.
“See, not so bad.” Her father crossed his arms over his chest in satisfaction. She was so glad he hadn’t been seriously injured during the altercation with Serena.
Annie smiled, reluctant to admit he was right. It actually tasted pretty good. And the warmth sliding down her throat soothed her, bringing a calmness within her for the first time since Serena had disappeared.
“Drink whole thing.”
“Okay, Ba.” And she obeyed, slowly sipping the herbal concoction until most of it was gone. She leaned back against the pillows, cupping the mug in her hand. The warmth thawed her cold fingers, and she gave a sigh. “Where’s Brody?”
“He’s with Finn.” Her father switched to Taiwanese. “They’re watching a movie.”
Annie pushed the comforter aside and swung her legs onto the floor. “I need to go to Finn. He’s been through so much tonight.”
“Wait.” Her father held up a hand. “I want to talk to you.”
Annie halted, about to stand up. Her father wanted to talk to her? He had never said that to her before.
Her father rubbed the side of his head. “I know we don’t talk much, but that doesn’t mean I . . .” He trailed off, and Annie knew whatever he wanted to say was hard for him.
She held her breath, waiting for him to continue. Marley nudged her arm with his nose, and she rubbed the top of his head.
He father turned away from her so that she couldn’t see his face. “You were the one we worried about the least. Jeannie wanted to be the perfect daughter, and Chrissy and I worried she was missing out on life while trying to be perfect. And Sam . . .” Her dad shrugged and turned back to her. Annie could see the smile on his face. “You know Sam has her head in the clouds. She needed me. But you.” He pointed to her. “You always knew what you wanted. You had a mind of your own. You wanted to be a dancer, and convinced your mother and me that you could make it work. You wanted to marry a white man, and convinced us it was the best for you. You didn’t need us as much as your sisters. We didn’t worry about you.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “But maybe we should have. You’ve been struggling these last few years. And your mother wasn’t here to help you. I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing.”
Annie’s mouth fell open. This was the most her father had ever said to her. And he was talking about feelings, something they didn’t do in their Asian family. Who was this man? What was happening?
“I . . . Ba . . .” she stammered, then slammed her mouth shut. She had no response. It was as if he’d just told her he wasn’t really her father. She wouldn’t have been any more surprised if that had been what he’d said.
Her father regarded her for a moment. Silence hung between them. But for the first time since she was a little girl and used to throw herself at her father, sure he would catch her, it wasn’t awkward.
“I give you herbs. And Asian remedies. Tai chi. Because that’s what I know. That’s what I believe in.” Her father clasped his hands together. “I want to help you, but I only push you away.”
“No.” Annie shook her head. “I was the one who pushed you away. I didn’t understand.”
Her father shook his head as if disagreeing with her. “But now I have to speak up. What happened to that woman was not your fault.”
Annie shrugged. She was still blaming herself, wondering whether, if she’d said or done something different, she could have gotten Serena back on land in time. There was still no sign of her. The police had come back again half an hour ago, to let them know they were still searching. If they didn’t find her by morning, the Kauai fire department would take over the search. She hadn’t wanted to ask when they would give up, but the policeman had read the question on her face. He’d told her they assumed someone was alive at least for the first three days.
Her father continued. “It was nature. And her own choice to go down there. You saved your son. You should hold on to that.” His voice soothed the guilt.
Annie gave him a look. “I’ve never heard you speak so much in my life.”
He shrugged. “The Western way, it doesn’t make sense to me. That’s not how I was brought up, so I don’t have much to say.” He turned his hands up. “Things are so different in Taiwan. But we’re in America. And Sam sat me down, had a talk with me.”
Annie’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Sam was behind this talk with her father?