“She said to me, ‘You have to reach out to Annie. You have to tell her it’s okay to ask for help.’” Her father shrugged, a helpless look on his face. They stared at each other for a moment. “I’m here. You do what you need for you.”
“Big Auntie won’t like that.” Annie looked at her father and was gratified when a hint of a smile played around his mouth.
“No, she won’t.” He shook his head, the smile getting bigger. “But what does she know? She still uses her dishwasher as a drying rack, no matter how many times I’ve told her it’s for washing dishes.”
Annie laughed, and tension eased out of her shoulders. Serena was still gone, but her father had just made a joke and basically thumbed his nose at his oldest sister.
They fell silent again, and now Annie could hear the sounds of an animated movie coming from the living room. She listened for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
“Thank you, Ba,” she finally said.
“Okay.” He turned to go, but then stopped at the door and turned back to her. “This means you will take all my herbs now, right?”
Annie laughed again, realizing she liked this side of him. He never joked with her, only with Sam and Cam. And as she watched him return to the living room, she wrapped her arms around Marley. Faithful Marley, who had fought Serena with her and tried to protect Finn. She felt a tiny bit better, which she suspected was why Sam had sent their father in to talk to her. Her sister knew Annie would be blaming herself for Serena falling into the river.
47
It was late, way past Finn’s bedtime. Annie had come out of the bedroom after her talk with her father and joined them on the couch, watching the rest of the movie while holding Finn close to her. Annie and Brody had been so grateful their son was safe that they’d let him stay up. But it was finally time to put him to bed.
Tucking the comforter around Finn’s chin, she leaned down to hug him, inhaling his sweet little-boy scent. Finn wrapped his arms around her neck. “Mommy?”
Annie pulled away so she could see his face. His forehead was furrowed. “I’m here,” she said, reaching a hand to try to smooth the lines away.
“Where did that woman go?” He looked so worried. Annie leaned down and kissed his cheek, willing him to understand that she would always protect him, even though she’d done a bad job of it these past few years.
Annie looked her son in the eyes. “I don’t know. But you don’t have to be afraid of her anymore. Daddy and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you.”
She paused as Finn’s eyes searched hers. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a very good mommy to you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when Lindsay was hurt, and I’m sorry the woman grabbed you tonight. But I’m going to try harder now. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’m sorry for not protecting you better.”
Finn stared back at her, and she almost wept at his innocent expression. Then he surprised her by reaching out a hand to touch her face. “You haven’t been a bad mommy.” He took her face in between both hands and patted her cheeks before letting go.
Tears gathered in her eyes and she smiled down at him. “I’m going to do better though, okay, Finnie?”
He nodded, then let out a big yawn. She kissed him again and he closed his eyes. Smoothing a hand over his forehead, she watched him until his face relaxed and his breathing deepened. “I love you,” she whispered to him.
“Annie.”
She turned at the sound of her name.
Brody stood next to the mattress, holding out her cell. “It’s Izzy and Julia,” he said in a whisper. “You want me to pick it up?”
Annie nodded. While Brody walked back toward the bedroom and picked up the FaceTime call, she looked at Finn one last time. He was just starting to get over what had happened to Lindsay. Now he would be even more traumatized. She vowed again to do everything she could to be there for him fully.
She walked into the bedroom and took the phone from Brody. “Hello?” she said into the phone. The sight of her best friends brought a smile to her face.
“Any news?” Izzy’s voice was rushed. They had called earlier while Annie was outside, and Sam had updated them. “They haven’t found her yet, have they?”
“No. They’re still searching. I think they hoped to find her under the bridge, where it was dammed up from all the debris and driftwood. But so far nothing. If she was swept out into the ocean . . .” Annie trailed off, not wanting to imagine the worst. “They told me they hoped she’d grabbed on to something in the water to stay afloat. Even a strong swimmer would have had trouble swimming back to land in that storm. And she can’t swim.”
“Oh, Annie.” Izzy brought the phone close to his face, earning a frown from Julia.
Annie stifled a laugh. Her friends could still make her smile, even in this dark time. “They told me they won’t give up, at least for the first three days. We have to hold on to that thought.”
She closed her eyes as she said that. Because she couldn’t imagine what Serena was going through if she really was still alive. The terror of being in the water when she couldn’t swim. How long could she possibly hold on, if she really had grabbed on to something?
“We’re here for you, okay?” Julia spoke quietly.
Annie opened her eyes to find both of them looking at her with concern. She missed her friends. Real friends, who’d been through the best and worst parts of her life for more than twenty years.
“Thank you.”
They spoke for a few more minutes and then said goodbye. She stood there in the bedroom for a moment looking around. It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago, Serena had been standing here with her as she’d packed a bag. She remembered the panic attack she’d almost had when Serena stood in front of her holding the sunglasses Annie had lost. Her gaze swung to the dresser, where she’d left the glasses. They weren’t there. That was funny. She clearly remembered putting them back down on the dresser, right next to the basket where she kept all her barrettes. She walked to the dresser and searched under it, thinking maybe they’d fallen off.
Nothing.
She stood still, her mind turning. But she was too tired to try and figure it out. She walked into the living room and curled up next to Brody on the couch. Laying her head on his shoulder, she sighed when he put an arm around her. They stayed like that for a long time, neither of them moving or speaking, as they gazed at their son, safe and asleep across the room.
The next morning, Annie opened her eyes to find Brody gone from the bed. Marley lifted his head off his bed on the floor by Annie’s side and got up when she did. She hadn’t slept much, but was wide awake. She walked out of the bedroom with Marley following with a slight limp, and checked on Finn, relieved that he was sleeping peacefully. It was too early to call the vet, but she would as soon as they opened.
She grabbed her phone off the breakfast bar, where it was charging, and then paused when she saw Serena’s phone next to hers. Someone must have found it on the couch, where Annie remembered seeing it last. She picked it up and looked at the picture on the lock screen. And now, knowing what she knew, she realized it was the lake in New York. That was why it had looked familiar. She dropped Serena’s phone back on the counter. She’d have to give it to the police.