“I’ll call you later, ‘kay?”
“Yep. Have fun…but only the sexy, filthy, depraved kind of fun. And sneak me dick pics!”
I don’t answer her, smiling as I hang up.
Dear Santa, I’ve even been a very good girl this year. And all I want for Christmas is Alec, Reed, Jace, and Cole…without a pregnancy or an STD. Thank you.
nine
“How am I not getting pregnant? Or getting, like…herpes?”
It’s been thirty minutes. Thirty long damn minutes since Reed just breezed in with his million-dollar indecent proposal and swept me off my feet. But now, all I can think about is how many times they’ve done this.
…And when the last time someone was tested.
…And is this just a “focus on me” thing, or will swords cross?
I bite my lip because the picture in my head is Jace shoving Reed to his knees. Damn, that’s hot. And yet, selfishly, I want to be the star of this show.
“All about me, please,” I whisper as a smile blooms on my lips again.
I need to get it together, or there won’t be anyone on their knees. More importantly, I need to man up and go out there and ask all the damn questions. But does that make this all less sexy?
This is why women who take lovers and smoke off-brand European cigarettes do shit like this. I’m not cool. I have a thousand questions—that I’m putting in the Notes app on my phone, like I’m making a grocery list.
Milk, eggs, lube. Because is it going in my ass? Or is this more of a tag you’re in kind of situation? Why am I such a nerd?
My phone vibrates, so I look down at the message from my sister.
Elle: stop overthinking. I know you are. If there isn’t a dick in your mouth, then I’m disappointed in you.
I laugh, but it vibrates again.
Elle: Dammit! Your read receipts are on. There. Is. No. Pe-nigh surrounding you.
Me: Shut up. I’m spiraling, freaking out with too many unanswered questions.
Elle: So ask them.
Me: I don’t want to spoil the mood.
My phone rings. I answer as my sister starts speaking right away.
“I feel like any four dudes trying to fuck you at eight in the morning aren’t going to give a shit about your dumbass questions.”
My eyes search the room. She has a point.
“Okay, so here’s my plan. I’m just going to walk out there like the adult I am and ask some very justified questions. Right? No big deal.”
She huffs another laugh.
“Yes. Exactly. Well, hold on, there is one thing we’re forgetting—”
“What?” I rush out, cutting in.
“The fact that you’re saying yes to the dirtiest fantasy of all time…standing in basically nothing. Isn’t that what bachelor number one told you to do? To come out in only a T-shirt? There’s no way a conversation is happening. You’re going to ramble and be dumb. Maybe you should back out.”
Screw that.
“I’m a grown woman, Eleanor. Give me some credit. I think I can manage a conversation without dissolving into a puddle. I’m just nervous. I’ll call you later.”
“Mmmkay. Sure. Whatever. Good luck with that. Byeee.”
I hang up, frowning.
It’s fine. I got this.
I’ll just put it out of my mind and treat this like any regular discussion adults have.
My sister is so off base to think I can’t ignore the fact that these guys…with all their muscley frames and kissable mouths…are hot. I can keep my cool watching the way Cole likes to draw his bottom lip between his teeth. Or how Alec looks me up and down. Maybe even playing out a dirty scenario in his head.
I let out a quiet whoosh of a breath, my body starting to warm. Because I suddenly can’t stop thinking about the four of them, eyes on me, looking at me like I’m about to be devoured.
Oh my god.
I shake my head, ridding myself of the thought.
“For fuck’s sake.”
My pussy is literally the most irresponsible monster. She’s right. I’m going to need a cold shower before I—
My eyes narrow as I think, metaphorically…to myself. I’ll need a metaphorical cold shower.
Because we all need something to dampen the sexual firestorm I feel every time I see them. I spin around, eyes locking on the closet. Yep, there’s no point in fighting who I am.
If they want this body, then they’ll have to play by my rules first.
I start toward the bedroom door, then stop again.
Oh, this might be the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done. I turn to face the mirror on the side wall next to the door, taking myself in as a laugh escapes.
I’m dressed head to toe in mismatched snow gear.
I put on everything I found in Alec’s closet—black snow pants too long, a red puffy jacket that’s already making me sweat, and snow boots too big.
Good god, even the beanie on me looks enormous.
I tug it down again over my hair, the Niners’ insignia almost covered because of the way I had to fold it so that I wasn’t blind.
“This is ridiculous,” I say aloud before reaching down and yanking up the pants again. I do a little jump to help before tightening the belt as much as it will go again.
Oh god. I look like that kid from A Christmas Story who couldn’t lower his arms because his mom put him in a thousand layers. The only difference is his clothes fit.
But this is exactly the cold shower we all needed. There’s no way we’ll think about sex…not with me looking like a jack-off Jack Frost.
I grab the door handle and take a deep breath before swinging it open and clunking through.
Game time.
Their voices echo off the walls. Laughter mixed with all the bass in those deep voices. I’m already biting my lip as I take one awkward step after another, adjusting my jacket. God, Alec wears a size three-hundred shoe compared to my size eight. I might as well be wearing clown shoes.
I bet I know what won’t be clown size, though. The thought has me grinning. Because I keep thinking, what if it was? Clown size. Would it be a grower, not a shower?
Like how a clown car keeps producing person after person even though it’s Tonka sized.
My deep thoughts are circulating as my stomach starts flipping over and over. Because the closer I come to the end of the hallway, the more nervous I get.
This is stupid. What am I doing?
Jace’s voice cuts through the others.
“She’s been hiding for a while now. This is your fault, Reed. Maybe I should check on her?”
Shit. Instinctually I try to spin around, but I go nowhere.
I’m planted, hostage to size fifteen boots. I couldn’t run away even if I tried. I’d break my fucking ankle. My ass almost hits the ground, but I squat, balancing myself as my palms hit the wall, bracing my dignity and myself before I push back to standing.
“No, she’ll come when she’s ready,” Alec levels as I mouth, yep, and ready or not, here I come.
No turning back now. With one more deep breath, I noisily make the last of the hidden steps before rounding the corner and coming into view. I was planning to clear my throat to gather their attention. But Jace notices me first from where he’s sitting on the couch. His eyebrows raise, eyes wide as those dimples indent with his growing smile.
“Oh, wow. That’s something.”