Oh, there are those nerves. I blow out some air as I read from my phone.
“I think we can all agree that I’m not cool…” Fuck. Why did I write that? I look up, scrambling my words, “I mean, I’m cool as in personality. What I meant was I’m not seasoned at this stuff like you whores.”
I shut my mouth because I didn’t mean to say that last part.
“Sorry,” I offer, scrunching my nose, but Alec winks.
“It’s fair, gorgeous. Continue.”
I nod, clearing my throat. “So, like I was saying, there are things I need to know before I let you fuck me like a pack of wild animals all over this house.”
Why do all the wrong things keep coming out of my mouth?
Cole adjusts himself. “Less descriptive, sweetheart. The blood’s going the wrong way. And your brows are starting to sweat.”
I let out a half laugh, patting my forehead. Shit, he’s not wrong. Without thought, I tug the zipper he choked closed back down just an inch.
“Let me cut to the chase,” I level.
“By all means, you look like you’re melting,” Cole adds. “And I honestly can’t predict what will come out of your mouth next.”
I ignore him, tugging the zipper down another inch. Dammit, it’s hot. Or maybe I’m just that nervous. Just say it. This is do or die time, Sam. Say it.
Before I can chicken out, I look at my phone and blurt out the exact sentence I wrote.
“How am I not getting pregnant? Or getting, like…herpes?”
ten
“I’m seeing stars.”
Stunned is the wrong word to describe them. Maybe surprised is a better fit. Because stunned is what I feel over just casually throwing out herpes.
I’m my own worst enemy. I seem to have no control whatsoever over my thoughts-to-mouth function. The only plus about what I’ve said is that Reed is speechless. Shaking his head, grinning as he stares at me. Finally.
He wipes a hand down his cheek.
“What’s a regular date with you like?”
I celebrated too soon.
My eyes briefly drop to the floor as I fill my cheeks with air before letting it out with a pop. I can feel myself blinking. That’s how fucking aware I am of my awkwardness. If I could make it stop, I would.
I’d run right for the window and throw myself out.
But I can’t. Because these fucking boots are too heavy. Jesus.
Maybe one day I’ll look back on this and be so detached that I’ll forget I was ever this uncool. Or…and this feels truer…I will cringe over this randomly for the rest of my life.
You know what, why be embarrassed? I’m about to fuck the whole room. Screw it. Lean in.
“Nobody knows,” I say, looking up to add, “how I am on a date. I’ve never been on one. That’s actually part of my next question. Is it a problem that I’m a virgin?”
All the air is sucked out of the room and replaced with panic.
Jace stands halfway before sitting back down, muttering, “Wait a minute… what?”
Reed’s frozen. He hasn’t even blinked. And Cole’s staring at me like I’m a puzzle he hasn’t figured out because he doesn’t have any edge pieces.
Wow.
But Alec gives me a wink and mouths, liar.
I press my lips together, raising my brows at him in challenge, but he shakes his head, not buying it. My eyes narrow. But he holds his ground and my eyes. So I shrug before my voice is sing-songy.
“Just kidding.”
A chorus of relieved sighs, grumbles, and curses accompany Cole’s jaw, aggressively tensing as he spreads his legs, adjusting himself. I have a feeling my ass is going to feel the consequences of that joke.
I’m immediately fanning myself, knowing I’m blushing. But I stab my finger at each of them, making my point.
“Listen up. Especially you,” I snark, stopping at Reed. “I’m nervous, and occasionally when I’m nervous, I suffer from poor delivery. But these are two very fair questions…about STDs. And since I do plan on dating after this—”
“No,” they bark in unison, effectively shutting my mouth.
Jace adds, “Quit that.”
My lips part, eyes traveling over them. You have got to be kidding me. I lift a hand out in front of me, thoroughly amused.
“This arrangement is only for the weekend.”
“Correct,” Alec answers, crossing his arms.
I stare, waiting for them to catch on. But they don’t, so I press with a smirk.
“So we’re pretending there’s no expiration? Or that I’ve magically only ever been interested in a gang bang…with you?”
“Exactly,” Jace agrees.
They’re insane. I start laughing between my words. Why are men like this? My hip pops out as I cross my arms.
“So, just to be clear. You’ve done this before…and will again. But I’ve never had sex with any—”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Reed cuts in. “Do not finish that sentence.”
“Oh my god.” I laugh. “But you almost had a stroke when I said I was a virgin.”
“Yes,” Cole levels. “And?”
“And? And I can just magically suck dick so good that your knees will buckle? And fuck like a porn star, but dirty slut is just my default? And on Monday, when we drive away, my pussy will just stay preserved like a wax statue from Madame Tussauds?”
“Yes,” they answer in chorus, leaning in at the same time like a pack of animals.
I ignore their reaction because I’m too busy laughing. Hard. Like hands coming to my knees hard.
“Guys are stupid. And you guys are the most stupid.”
My hair swishes over my shoulder as I stand back up. I start fanning myself again because this damn suit feels like a boiler the more I move around.
“True,” Cole adds, not trying to hide his smile. “But at least we don’t have herpes.”
I roll my eyes.
“I was saying it as a placeholder for all things requiring ointment and/or penicillin.”
“Valid”—Reed chuckles—“and yet, still funny.”
Jace rests his forearms on his knees, stealing my attention because he’s smiling sweetly, even with humor still behind his eyes.
“We were never laughing at you.”
“Yes, we were,” Reed cuts in, but Jace shakes his head.
“No. We weren’t. It was unexpected. You caught us off guard. But let me answer. We’re all tested and clean. We can show results to you on our phones, and nobody fucks around outside these arrangements without protection. But we’re happy to wrap up if you’d prefer. Or even if you just want to because you’re not on the pill.”
I’m standing, still fanning myself, quietly absorbing what he’s said as my weight minutely shifts back and forth. That’s exactly what I was hoping they’d say. My tongue darts over my bottom lip before I nod.
“Okay. I like it. That sounds perfect.” I grin, looking at Cole. “And since I’m not a virgin, more like a woman with a body count envied by the likes of Mortal Combat, I can also show my clean bill of health. Oh, and I’m on the pill.” A tiny laugh escapes as I add, “So I guess we’re raw dogging it.”
I hear it the moment I say it. Reed groans, narrowing his eyes. “Why are you torturing us? Just say yes already. I know you’re going to. I want. Gimme.”