“No. Fuck, no. Indy, that’s not what I meant.”
“Oh shit,” Stevie says from the doorway, her eyes pinned on us. “I shouldn’t be here.”
My head snaps to her. Neither of us heard her unlock the door. Indy scurries off my lap, finding the other side of the couch.
Fuck my life. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Stevie about my feelings for her best friend, and she just walked in to find her sitting in my lap. Not only that, but my roommate is over here telling me she’s going to move out because I didn’t get to explain that those insecurities of mine don’t apply to her.
Stevie will understand. Hell, she’ll even be on board with this, but right now, I need to explain myself to Indy before she gets in her head more than she already is.
“I’m going to go,” Stevie continues, throwing a thumb over her shoulder.
“Good idea.”
“No!” Indy interrupts. “Please stay.”
She doesn’t look me in the eye when I snap my head in her direction. Indy sits at the corner of the couch, knees tucked up to her chest, evidently overwhelmed by our conversation. I’ve never dumped all that information on anyone before and now she’s sitting there with the belief that I think her living here is a form of her taking advantage of me.
It couldn’t be further from the truth.
27
RYAN
Spending the day at the gym and being able to do nothing but watch was torture. The team’s doctors and trainers poked and prodded at my knee while I sat my ass on a table and watched the team practice through a glass window.
Day one and I’m itching to be back out there. I’m not sure if I can handle four weeks of watching from the sidelines.
Ron and my coach gave me the option to stay home from road trips while I’m out, and I’ll probably take them up on the offer. Even at home games, I don’t know that I’ll be able to be on the bench. It’s too difficult, and honestly, my shitty attitude might be worse than my absence from the sidelines.
Stevie is waiting for me right out front of the practice facility in Zanders’ car. I can’t drive for a few more days, but the trainers were impressed with how well my swelling went down over the last twenty-four hours. I’ll thank Indy for that. She was doting and caring and concerned, pulling a typical Indy move by taking care of everyone else around her. But I’m not going to lie, I enjoyed being the center of her attention for the evening.
I got the okay to put a little weight on my knee by walking without the crutches, but I’m slow as fuck, lifting myself into Zee’s G-Wagon.
“Look at you! No crutches!” Stevie cheers from the driver’s seat.
“I’m not sure that’s much to cheer about, Vee.”
“Okay, cranky. I got you a coffee.” She gestures to the center console. “What did they say?”
“They were impressed by how much my swelling went down. They want me to walk on it a bit, but I won’t start any major movements until next week.”
“That’s exciting!” She puts the car in drive and starts us towards home.
“Is it?”
“Okay. Clearly, nothing is going to be good enough for you at the moment.” She shifts the subject. “What time do you need to be at team dinner? Do you need a ride or is Harold taking you?”
“I canceled it.”
“What? Why?”
Keeping my eyes towards the passenger window, I watch as Chicago zooms by. “Why do you think, Vee? I’m not in a good headspace. The last thing I want to do right now is take the boys to dinner and pretend like I didn’t let them all down.”
She stays silent, eyes on the road, mouth set in a hard line.
“See,” I continue. “Even my own twin is annoyed with me. Imagine how much worse I’ll be with other people.”
That puts a small smile on her lips. “I’m not annoyed with you, but your team still needs you. You’re still their captain.”
I brush her off. “Ethan is their captain. I just wear the title for the public.”
Stevie doesn’t elaborate or tell me how wrong I am, which is another sign that if my best friend can’t get through to me, no one can.
“So,” she shifts the subject. “Should we talk about last night?”
Stevie’s twin brain is synced with mine as I look out of the corner of my eye, finding my mirrored expression on her face, knowing smirk and all.
“What do you want to talk about?” I ask, feigning innocence.
She laughs. “You’re so full of shit. It’s obvious you asked me to drive you home instead of Harold so we can talk about this, so start talking, Superstar.”
Fuck, sometimes it’s scary how well we know each other.
“I might have a little thing for your best friend.”
“Ha!” she bursts out a laugh. “Good God, Ry. Want to try that again?”
I roll my eyes. “I might possibly be a little bit smitten by the blonde living in my house.”
Stevie laughs to herself. “You were holding her hand while finding out the biggest news of your career. If you said you were completely in love with her, I’d believe you more.”
“I told her about Marissa.”
Thank God we’re at a stoplight because my sister’s head snaps around to me, eyes entirely leaving the road. “You did?”
“Last night. It’s kind of what you walked in on.”
“Ryan.” Her eyes soften. “That’s a really big deal.”
I don’t expand on the rest—what the years after looked like. I love Stevie more than anyone else in the entire world, but even she wasn’t privileged to the dark days. Indy is the first person to know, and I want to get home so we can talk about the rest. She needs to know how much I want her to stay. How much I need her to stay.
“I want her, Vee. I don’t know where she’s at or what she’s even capable of feeling after everything she’s been through, but I’ll take whatever she can offer.” I look over to her as she continues driving, concentrating on the road. “Would you be okay with that?”
I can see a faint tilt of her lips. “You don’t need my permission to be together.”
“Well, I still want it. This is your best friend, and we both know it’s my fault that other friendships haven’t worked out for you.”
“Look, you could be talking about anyone, and I’d just be stoked to hear you’re opening yourself up again, but with Indy?” She peeks over at me. “There’s no one I trust more to protect you as much as you’ll protect her.”
I offer her a faint smile. “Thanks, Vee.”
“But you should lock it down. Have you seen that woman?” My sister teases. “The entire hockey team is in love with her.”
“Okay. Okay. I don’t need the reminder.”
“I’m just saying. Get a move on it, buddy. You already live together, and I want another sister-in-law.”
“Dear God,” I huff out a laugh. “I’m never telling you anything. You have no chill.”
Stevie parks in front of my building. “You don’t need to tell me anything.” She taps the side of her head. “Twin brain. I know it all already.”