She inhales shakily, as though she’s holding back tears all over again. I don’t know which photographer she worked with today, but she’ll never work with him again. Matter of fact, he’ll never work again. Not in this industry. For his sake, I hope he enjoys wildlife photography, because that’s the only avenue I’ll leave open to him.
“And then there’s my mother and you. You both want me to be something I’m not, someone I’m not, and it hurts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you at all. I get it. I really do, but—”
“—no,” I cut her off, “you don’t get it, Raven.” I grab her tightly and turn us over so she’s on her back, my body on top of hers. Her eyes widen as I hold myself up on my forearms so I can look at her. For a moment, I see something flash in her eyes that I recognize. Loneliness. Longing. Those are feelings I know all too well, and I never want her to feel them around me.
“I don’t need you to be anything or anyone else. Not ever. You’re my wife, Raven. You. No one else. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else, and you don’t need to measure up to anyone else either — because whether you realize it or not, you’ve already surpassed every standard anyone has ever set for you. Just because they won’t or can’t acknowledge it doesn’t mean you’re anything short of amazing. You’re perfect the way you are. And no, I’m not saying that to placate you. I’m telling you that because it’s true. You have a sense of loyalty so strong that you married me and sacrificed the future you envisioned for yourself. You’re fucking beautiful, and you’re smart, real smart. How many women do you know that have a full-time modeling career and a thriving business? Fuck anyone who can’t see your worth, Rave. Fuck them all.”
“Including you?”
I blink in surprise and smirk at her, my cock involuntarily stirring at her words. “Yeah,” I whisper, a wicked smile on my face. “Fuck me too.”
She bites down on her lip, her sorrow making way for something that looks a lot like lust. Fuck. I drop my forehead to hers in an attempt to steer the conversation back to where it was, but having my lips so close to hers isn’t helping. This chemistry between us… it’s always been there, but it’s inescapable now.
“In all seriousness, Rave… I’m sorry I was one of the reasons you were upset today. I’m so fucking sorry, you have no idea.” I pause and inhale deeply, her signature cupcake scent sending my heart into overdrive. “I want you here, Raven. There is no one I’d rather have in my bed than you. No one. You may not believe that, but it’s true. From the moment I married you, you’ve had my loyalty right down to my every thought. There’s no one on my mind but you. When I look at you, all I see is my wife. Nothing else. No one else. There’s no space for anyone but you — not in my mind, and not in my heart. This may all sounds like pretty lies and a poor attempt to console you, and I get that, but baby, over time you’ll realize that it’s the truth.”
I shift on top of her, my lips brushing over her forehead as I press a chaste kiss to her skin. “I never meant to make you feel like you’re unwanted, because you aren’t. Do you have any idea how much it means to me that you chose to marry me? You could’ve walked away from everything and left me to deal with the consequences, but you didn’t. You were there for me when I needed you most, Rave, and I’ve done a really shitty job of thanking you for it. I’ll do better, okay? I just… it was hard for me too, and I was foolish to assume I knew what you needed. I’m learning the hard way that I only ever knew a small part of you, and it’ll take me a little bit of time to discover the rest. Will you give me that, Rave? Will you give me some grace? Will you forgive me for fucking up?”
She buries her hands into my hair, and I swallow hard. The way she looks at me… yeah, she’s got my heart racing in a way it never has before. There’s so much trust and hope in her expression, and it fills me with a deep need to give her the fucking world. I never want to let her down, and from now on, I won’t. I’ve never felt something so… intense. I want her desperately, but my entire fucking heart is in it, too. My need for her transcends the physical, and it’s something I’ve never experienced before.
“I’ll give you some grace,” she murmurs. “One one condition. Honor my request, Ares. No assumptions, no overthinking. Please, Ares. Please communicate with me. Do you know how hard it was for me to admit how I’ve been feeling? I just… all week I’ve felt like I was losing you, and I… I just don’t want to be kept guessing. Please don’t do that to me.”
I tilt my head and press a soft kiss to her cheek, just on the edge of her lip. “I’m sorry,” I tell her as I hold myself up on my forearms so I can look her in the eye. “I promise to communicate from now on, no matter how hard it is. It’s just… I’m so used to all these fucking mind games that this is… it’s new to me, Rave.”
She reaches for me and cups the side of my face. “You give me honesty, and I’ll give you grace. How about that?”
I nod, my heart racing. I don’t think I’ve ever had a moment that felt this real. Not with anyone. But then again, for years now, the only one that’s ever been able to make me lose my endless patience is the woman lying underneath me, my wife. “Yeah,” I whisper. “I promise.”
She smiles at me so sweetly that my heart clenches. “Then give me a moment of honesty, Ares. Tell me one thing no one else knows? Give me a part of you no one else has.”
The edges of my lips turn up into a small smile. “You already have my last name, Raven. It’s the one thing I’ll never give to anyone else.”
“Never?”
I shake my head and grab her tightly, taking her with me as I roll onto my back. She shifts in my embrace, until she’s got her head on my chest and her leg hooked over my hip, her inner thigh brushing against my cock teasingly. Does she realize how hard she makes me?
“Never,” I promise her. The moment I married her, I knew Hannah and I were over. I never should’ve entertained the idea of divorcing Raven in three years — not unless she asks it of me. That isn’t me, and she deserves better.
She looks up at me and smiles, and it fucking does something to me. I can’t quite explain it, but I’m certain I’ll always remember the way she’s looking at me right now.
“Feel better, Cupcake?”
She nods, and I hold her tightly, my hand stroking her back until her breathing evens out. I stare up at the ceiling as she falls asleep in my arms, my thoughts whirling. I can’t believe I’ve been staying away from her when I could’ve had this all along. One night with her, and I think I’m already addicted.
Chapter Thirty
Ares
I stare up at Raven’s office building, thinking back to the last time I was here. I’d come to pick her up because I needed a present for Hannah’s birthday, and she’d been more distant than usual. Perhaps it’s wishful thinking on my part, but could it be that she was acting that way because she didn’t want me to marry Hannah? I shake my head and run a hand through my hair as I walk in. Lately, my mind has been a mess. Perhaps it’s all been cognitive dissonance, a way of convincing myself that there really could be something there between Raven and me… or maybe there’s some truth to my suspicions.