揌ey.?I sit beside her.
She rests her head on my shoulder. 揌i.?
揟alk to Violet??
揝he doesn抰 want to talk to me.?
揧ou抮e freezing,?I say as I run my hands up and down her arms.
揑 can抰 go inside.?
揅ome to my place. You can work things out with Violet tomorrow after you抳e both slept.?
She comes without protest.
I kick off my shoes and loosen my tie as Daisy climbs into bed, still in her dress. It billows around her small frame, taking up half the mattress.
I sit against the headboard, and she lies down with her head against my chest. She looks up at me. 揝he said things about you. About us.?
I抦 not shocked by that, but it picks at something that抯 been on my mind all day.
Daisy sits up. 揑抦 sorry that she hasn抰 been fair to you. You have been amazing to me, and I know you don抰 like when I say nice things about you, but truly, you are wonderful.?Her eyes fall to her lap. 揥hen we first met, I judged you too. I did. And I抦 sorry.?
With a finger under her chin, I lift her face to look at me. 揟hat抯 human nature.?
揑 still feel bad about it.?
揧ou don抰 owe me any apologies.?My stomach rolls. 揥hile we抮e admitting our sins, I have something to confess about when we first met too.?
揥hat??Her lips part into a hesitant smile.
揥hen we first met and you were into Liam, I made it my mission to get in the way of you two any chance I could. He was struggling with hockey, and you came along. A sweet little distraction.?I place a kiss on her lips.
揑 was hardly a distraction. He barely noticed me.?
揘ot true. He was going to ask you out, but I told him not to.?
揧ou did what??Her voice lifts. She doesn抰 wait for me to answer. 揥hy would you do that??
揑 thought if the two of you started dating, he抎 lose his head. He was already having a hard time.?
揃ut厰 she starts, brows pulling together. 揧ou told me to ask him out. 慔e won抰 say no? remember? Why would you tell me to do that if you wanted to keep me from him??
揟hat was my attempt at doing the right thing, I guess. But I couldn抰 even do that. I stopped you before you could. I, uh, didn抰 really need a tutor, but it seemed like you were going to finally ask him out, and I thought as long as you were busy with me, it would keep you away from Liam.?My palms sweat. 揑t was dumb, I know.?
揑抦 confused. You wanted to keep Liam and me apart, not because you liked me but because you were afraid that it would hurt his game??
A lump lodges in my throat, so I nod.
揟hat抯 insane.?
揘ot my brightest idea, but it did bring us together.?
揧ou mean while you were pretending to need my help with school? Who does that??
Up until this very second, I assumed, or maybe hoped, that she抎 find it funny. I can see now how stupid that was. Panic surges through me, but I truly don抰 know what to say.
揝o all this time that we抳e been hanging out it was just to keep me from him??Her eyes widen and a pretty flush creeps up her face.
揘o, of course not.?
She scrambles off the bed. 揥hat was the plan? To string me along until after the season? To make me fall for you instead? Was any of it real for you??Her body is shaking now. 揙r are you still pretending to like me just to keep me from Liam??
Fuck, fuck, fuck. 揂ll of it was real. I抦 crazy about you. I told you that I fell for you long before I realized it, and I meant it.?
揟hen why would you keep something like this from me until now??
揑 tried to tell you once. The night in the tree house. You said whatever happened in the past didn抰 matter.?
揑 thought you were talking about hooking up with other girls.?She throws her hands in the air, then puts on her shoes and grabs her purse.
揥hat? I haven抰 hooked up with anyone since you and I started hanging out.?
She isn抰 even listening to me. I can practically see her thoughts spinning around in her head. 揑 can抰 believe this. Violet was right.?
I don抰 know what Violet said about me, and I抦 not sure I want to know.
揇on抰 go.?I get up and take her by the arm before she can flee. 揈verything happened so fast. One minute we were emailing about physics and hockey, and the next I couldn抰 get enough of you. I didn抰 tell you sooner because I think deep down, I was always doing it for me, not him.?
揟hen tell me one thing.?
揂nything.?
揑f Liam had never wanted to ask me out and I hadn抰 shown interest in him, would you have ever looked twice at me??Her voice is steel, and her eyes brim with unshed tears.
揑 don抰 know.?
She smiles sadly and nods, then heads toward the door.
揇on抰 go. Please??
She doesn抰 stop.
揇aisy, wait,?I say. 揑 love you.?The words are out before I can process them, but I know they抮e true instantly.
Her body stills. I hold my breath and wait for her reaction.
揧ou don抰 love me,?she says.
揑 do,?I insist. 揗aybe it started for all the wrong reasons, but I love you.?
揘o. This isn抰 love. It can抰 be. I could never love someone that could do something so cruel.?
My heart cracks wide open as she slams my bedroom door. I rush after her, reaching her as she抯 about to give the hallway door the same treatment. With a hand, I stop the door. 揑抦 so sorry. I should have told you sooner.?
揧es, you should have. Or maybe just left me the hell alone in the first place.?
揚lease don抰 go. I need you.?
揘o. You don抰。 You were pretending to need me, remember??
Liam抯 coming up the stairs. He looks wide-eyed between us and raises a hand in a tentative greeting. 揌ey.?
Daisy swipes tears from her cheeks before she faces him. 揅an you give me a ride home??
I start to move in front of her. 揇aisy, plea棓
揘o,?she says, refusing to look at me. 揑 don抰 want to hear anymore. I just want to go home.?
揕et me take you.?
揝till trying to keep me from him??She laughs softly. 揇on抰 worry, after tonight I don抰 ever want to see either of you again.?
Liam glances at me, and I nod. He goes out the door first, and she finally looks at me. 揝he said you would destroy me.?
Violet抯 words tear through me, and I want to refute them a thousand times over, but the words sound weak now, all things considered.
She whispers four final words, ripping my heart from my chest. 揂nd she was right.?
30
DAISY
By Wednesday, all evidence of the rain and gloomy weather is gone, and in its place, the sun shines bright and taunting. I pull the pillow over my head. I抦 all out of tears which is too bad because for once, I抎 like to wail and scream instead of being shy, quiet Daisy.
The house is still. I haven抰 seen or spoken to Violet since Saturday night. Jane and Dahlia check on me at least once a day, but the only time I抳e left my room is to go to campus. Violet抯 either in her room with the door closed or not home. It hurts to fight with her like this, but after everything that went down Saturday night, I don抰 have the energy to hear her say, 慖 told you so?
I haven抰 spoken to Jordan either, though he抯 texted and must have come by the house because I found a box of candy on the doorstep when I got back from class yesterday. No note （I guess he figured the dozen of I抦 sorry texts were enough）， just the entire candy aisle of the gas station up the street. The box is now shoved under my bed with all the other things I don抰 know what to do with. Like my heart.
I meet Dahlia downstairs to walk to campus. We have a psychology class together this semester.