There’s a pregnant pause. “I’m not dismissing my daughter’s actions, young man. What I’m saying is that I want them to find happiness again.”
I feel eyes on me, so I force myself to remain still. The sweet smell of cinnamon wraps around me like an invisible blanket, causing my muscles to ease into him despite the tense conversation.
“I’ve made dinner reservations for the four of us tonight.” Something ruffles and then I see Grandma’s navy blue orthopedic shoes come into view through the narrow slits of my eyes. “It’s their favorite restaurant, and I’m sure you’ll find something you like as well.”
She kisses my forehead lightly.
“I love them both,” she tells him softly, her hand gently brushing my hair. I fight back a grimace from the way my scalp reacts. “I just don’t know how to fix them.”
Kaiden’s thumb brushes the bare skin of my stomach where my shirt must have ridden up during my nap. I bite back making a noise, but the slightest jerk of my body in his hand causes him to press down knowingly.
“Do you think forcing them to eat dinner across from each other will really help?” he doubts.
“What else can I do?”
“Sometimes we can’t do anything.”
Grandma moves away, her touch disappearing along with the cherry blossom scent from her lotion. “I don’t believe that. When you love people as much I love these two, you find ways to help heal them.”
“What if the damage is too much?”
Grandma’s steps stop. “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It just means that it can no longer control our lives. I sincerely hope you remember that. I know a hurt soul when I see one, boy. You and Emery are one in the same, which means you’re also tough. It doesn’t matter what battle you’re fighting, it only matters that you’re willing to fight.”
“And what is Emery fighting?”
Grandma doesn’t answer right away. “I suppose if you don’t already know, it’s not my place to tell you. You came here for her. You care. Give her time to tell you herself.”
I swallow and try to calm my pounding heartbeat. Can Kaiden feel it? Hear it? My anxiety over him knowing the truth drums the beat louder until my ears thump along.
Grandma leaves the room and I remain still. My eyes open to a muted television screen. The show on now is one I don’t recognize. The time on the clock says it’s almost four thirty.
“You can get up now,” he says.
I lick my lips and sit up, sneaking a peek at him through my lashes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
His arms go to his chest. “Your grandmother seems to think we’re the same person. Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.”
I frown. “Am I that bad?”
He levels with me. “You’re holding something back from me.”
His accusation makes me roll my eyes, which he doesn’t find amusing. “Just because I don’t tell you everything doesn’t mean I’m holding it back. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, Kaiden.”
His lips twitch. It’s almost like he’s weighing his response options. He can’t disagree with me because I’m not wrong. But that won’t stop him from commenting something snarky back, because that’s his defense mechanism.
“I suppose this is where we exchange boring facts about ourselves?” he guesses, deadpan. “Am I supposed to tell you that my favorite color is black and that I listen to emo music and self-loathe in the darkness of my bedroom?”
My brows go up and I stifle a giggle. “I don’t know. Do you?”
He eyes me.
I smile and shrug. “You’re probably the kind of guy who loves the color gray even though it’s boring. Heather gray, not light. And you don’t listen to emo music, whatever that is, you listen to rap. Probably R&B too. I bet you loathe country music based on the principle alone, and that the only thing you do in the darkness of your room is—” I stop myself and blush. “Uh, well, you know.”
“I don’t know.” Leaning in close to me, he whispers, “What do I do in the darkness of my room, Mouse?”
His breath tickles my nose, causing me to wiggle it. “What every guy probably does.”
“Which is…？”
My eyes widen. “You can’t honestly expect me to say it. My grandma is in the house somewhere.”
His eyes dance with mischief. “Tell me what I do in my room.”
I swallow. “Sleep.”
“And?”
I try glancing away, but he won’t let me. He turns my head to face him, our eyes locking. His fingers remain on my chin so I won’t look anywhere else.
“Watch movies?”
He smirks. “Wrong.”
“Do homework?”
“Try again.”
My whole face heats up.
“Say it, Mouse.”
“T-Touch yourself?”
His whole face lights up. I try moving away, but he keeps me locked in place. “Tell me something. Do you touch yourself?”
My jaw drops.
There’s no way he just asked me that.
Except…he’s Kaiden.
“I’m not answering that.”
He let’s go of my chin. “That’s a yes, then.”
“What? No, I—”
He winks. Winks. “We all do it. The fact that you’re too embarrassed to say you get yourself off just confirms it.”
My neck tingles.
Not wanting to egg him on, I swing my legs over and plant my feet on the floor. “I should probably see if Grandma needs help with anything. So—”
He tugs me back down onto the couch when I’m halfway to standing, causing me to flinch. I draw my arm back and rub it, causing him to study me. “It’s your turn.”
My…？
“You’re not a girly girl, so it’s safe to say pink isn’t your favorite color. My best guess is that yellow is since you wear it most often. I know you’re obsessed with that happy-go-lucky song about sunshine and shit, so you’re probably into indie rock and country too. You’re a nerd, so I know you spend most of your time in your bedroom doing homework and reading. When you’re not touching yourself, of course.”
I grab a pillow and smack him in the chest with it. “Would you stop? I do not touch myself!”
Grandma walks in at the exact moment, her lips turning upward. “Interesting conversation to walk into. Emmy, your mother just called. She’s going to meet us at Le Sal’s restaurant in half an hour.”
Trying to pretend Grandma didn’t just hear me tell Kaiden about what I do or don’t do in the confines of my bedroom, I nod. “That sounds like fun. I’ve been craving their chocolate mousse for a while.”
She grabs her car keys. “I’ll warm up the car. If you want to change, I think we’ll leave in about fifteen minutes. We need to beat traffic.”
I nod and watch her button her coat before leaving Kaiden and me alone again. He’s still clutching the pillow I hit him with, so I grab another one and smack him again. “You’re a jackass.”
He just smiles.