Something is wrong with me.
There had to be.
Because, ever since that day on the hill, surrounded by fresh, wet grass and flying insects, her heart kept twinging. She knew the moment it started, when something inside her seemed to shift.
When this big, goofy, silly Duskwalker had a butterfly land on his deadly claw tip, he’d been so thrilled, so happy, even though he had a bunch of them clinging to his horns and the top of his skull. One had even landed on the tip of his tail and stayed there until he curled it in joy.
It was the most winsome thing she’d ever seen, and the fact he was a monster was why.
There were other reasons why the gnawing in her chest had started, like caring for her wound, or lifting her off the ground so she could pick berries for herself. Or even grabbing her so they could lie in the grass together, something she’d never done before. How could anyone justify a peaceful moment such as that in a world filled with horrible Demons?
But when that butterfly landed on his patient and awaiting claw, the gnawing became impossible to ignore. And it only grew when he continued to be sweet, and caring, and… charming.
Somewhere along the way, she’d stopped wanting this journey to end.
Did they have to go find the Demon King, when they could just do this instead? Simply travel the world and experience all of its hidden beauty… Emerie had only ever been outside of Zagros Fortress for work, to go on dangerous and scary missions to kill Demons or bandits.
She’d seen hills, meadows, and kaleidoscopes of butterflies. She’d looked up at the stars, not in wonder in the way Ingram had taught her to, but with wishes for the suffering and torment to end.
Not once in her life had she looked at the world through a light, lacey veil, instead keeping up the harsh, cold lens of reality in front of her at all times.
So, all this… going to places she’d been but seeing them differently, all because of him… He was teaching her how to live freely, while she taught him about the world. She wanted to keep doing that.
But their journey had a destination, and she knew Ingram was steadfast in leading them to it.
I don’t know what will happen to me at the end of this.
Did death await her? Whether it was at the claws of this Duskwalker or the fangs of a Demon, or the Demon King himself, would she die? Say she didn’t. What would she do afterwards? Once Ingram was safe from being hunted, he wanted to find Aleron. Emerie didn’t know if she had the heart, or strength, to go on a journey that was based on a lie he’d told himself – a false hope.
She would have to choose to either go with him and pity him – perhaps even watch him go insane in the process – or return to the human world.
There is no real future for me with him.
The big guy didn’t even truly understand the concept of what a brother or family was. How could Emerie expect him to feel anything more towards her? Lust, apparently, came easy. But that was a physical reaction that didn’t necessarily require an emotional cause.
Yet, the invisible creature nibbling at her heart was cruel and unfair, allowing her to wallow in possibilities that didn’t seem realistic.
It’s what caused her to smile up at him, despite the bitter feelings that bubbled within. She slapped her hands together to direct his attention to the clapping sound, rather than the falseness of her expression.
“Alright, up we get.”
She brought her leg off him and stood. She limped over to the tiny fire she’d made and kicked sand on it, getting rid of its evidence for her own peace of mind. The sight of it, the smell of it, even the sound of it, made her skin crawl. The sun glittered off the quick-moving stream just beyond it, as mini waterfalls and natural dips created a trickling song.
It was a beautiful day, the early autumn still warm.
The weather had been kind to them on their travels, and only one day had there been rain – which wasn’t long after they started.
She turned and found the Duskwalker still sitting there. His orbs turned a reddish pink, with his shoulders hunching inwards like he was feeling… shy? Maybe it was uncertain, as he likely knew what she was about to say next, and was planning to rebuff it like he always did.
“Time for you to shoo, Ingram.” She waved her hands at him. “You said this would be the last chance I get before we reach the edge of the Veil.”
Emerie thought they’d need to go all the way to the west to reach his brothers, but apparently not. He claimed it would be quicker, and faster, to cut through it earlier. She was hesitant, as he said it was through some kind of swamplands.
“I want to stay, Emerie,” he pleaded vehemently.
Her lips tightened, and she stomped closer. “We’ve spoken about this.”
She pointed to the forest so he would leave. From a distance, he saw her as small, so towering over him seemed to work much better.
Usually, but not this time.
Instead of backing up, he reached up and slipped his palm on her hip, letting his claws slip underneath her shirt. The somewhat blunted points of them tickled the flesh of her back, making goosebumps rise and prickle over her sides.
Just the simple contact made her knees wobble.
“But I want to see,” he beseeched, dragging those delicious but frightening claws forward to ghost them over her hip bone.
With a pant, she quickly gripped the back of his hand before he could lift her shirt any higher.
“No,” she croaked, her right knee crumbling when he skated his other hand up the back of it.
She quickly righted herself and stepped back, knowing that his tongue slipping over the top of his beak meant he could scent the light arousal she could already feel.
Her reaction had been instant, and it was no longer surprising.
It wasn’t the first time she’d felt desire towards him since she’d last touched him, but she’d never acted on it. She couldn’t, and she often tried to pretend that she hadn’t grown slick, or that her nipples hadn’t pebbled.
His orbs would always flash deep purple in those times, and she would quickly have to distract him.
After last time, she couldn’t risk it. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t. Too much was at stake – her life, apparently, being the main thing.
“Why not?” He darted forward and grabbed the backs of her thighs to pull her back to him. He dragged his tongue over the side of her neck, causing a strangled squeal to come from behind her sealed lips. “You have that nice scent. I want to see where it comes from.”
Emerie pushed at his head to get away from him, wishing her nipples hadn’t tightened at that. He freaking licked her. She wasn’t used to him doing that – or opening his beak at all!
And his tongue was so warm… and wet. It was thin, flat, and a dark purple, which was nothing like she’d first expected it to be. When she saw it a few days ago, she never thought it’d feel so nice slipping across her skin.
“Because, Ingram… we can’t do this.” Her voice sounded embarrassingly breathy, but she managed to get out of his hands and back up out of his reach. Her brows narrowed when he let out a light growl. “Don’t you growl at me! I said no!”
“You have not said why,” he argued, leaping to his feet. “I want to touch you, Emerie, and you say no. I want to see, and you say no. Yet, you let me hold you, tend to your wound, sleep by you.”