I sucked in a breath, excitement and nerves thrashing in my stomach.
“Let’s go.” He nodded toward the stairs.
This was it.
I was really doing this.
We thankfully made it to his room without bumping into anyone, and now I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. After carefully returning his guitar to its case, North turned around and asked me to take off all my clothes.
Swallowing hard, I hid my hands behind my back so he couldn’t see my fingers nervously threading together. “Uh … maybe we could do this without getting undressed.”
“Fuck no,” he said with casual but forceful resolve. “I want you naked.”
I glanced around the room, looking for a means of escape.
North cursed under his breath and then crossed the room to me, drawing my skittish gaze back. Was he already regretting this?
To my surprise, he clasped my face in his palms and shook his head. “I’d like to skin those bastards alive,” he murmured, and I gathered he was referring to my exes. “How can you be so confident in everything else you do but this? It pisses me off.”
“Maybe we shoul—”
“Don’t.” He caressed my cheek with his thumb and then slowly slid his hands down to rest on my neck. Goose bumps prickled in the wake of his touch as he stroked my throat. There was a gentle dominance in his touch that my body definitely liked. “Don’t say we shouldn’t do this. Not if you want it.”
I swallowed hard, and I knew he felt it beneath his hands. “I do want to. I just …”
North leaned in so close his lips almost touched mine. I shivered as he whispered, “Talk to me.”
Be brave.
Be brave!
“I’m afraid if I get undressed, you …” I suddenly wanted to burst into tears, and that wouldn’t do at all. “I can’t.” I pushed away from him and turned toward the door. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”
But North was in front of me, blocking my exit. His expression was patient, worried. “I will get out of your way if that’s what you want. But I don’t think it is.”
“North …”
“Talk to me, Aria. Whatever you say won’t ever leave this room. I promise.”
I would not cry. I rarely cried, and I wasn’t about to start now in front of North Hunter. “I’m a mess. This isn’t sexy. Who wants this? No guy wants this.” I moved to shove past him, but he grabbed hold of my biceps, tugging me close. My tears spilled over with no warning, horrifying me. “Let me go!”
“No, I will not let you go when you’re upset.” He crushed me against him, tucking my head into the crook of his neck. “We don’t have to do anything. Okay? Just don’t cry. I can’t stand seeing you cry.” His voice broke with hoarseness, and the sincerity in his words cut through my embarrassment. My fingers clenched into his T-shirt, and I shuddered against him as I tried to get a handle on my emotions.
I didn’t know how long we stood there, but it was long enough for our breathing to slow. North just held me, running a soothing hand up and down my back until I was calm.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“You’ve nothing to apologize for.”
There was something about being held by him, feeling his powerful arms around me, and not having to look him in the eye that made it a little easier this time to admit, “I’m afraid if I get undressed … that you won’t find me attractive anymore.”
North’s arms tightened around me, but he said nothing.
Oh, God, just saying those words had made me unattractive, hadn’t they? “North?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just talking myself out of hunting down your ex-boyfriends and leaving them without the ability to procreate.” His voice trembled with anger.
I smoothed a hand over his hard chest. “They’re not worth it.”
“You’re worth it.”
Surprised by the intensity of his tone, I lifted my head. His expression was so fierce, fury and longing roiling there for all to see. For me to see. “Christ.” His voice was gravelly as he reached up to cup my face. “You don’t even know how beautiful you are, and it kills me.”
Did he really mean that? I fought against the insidious voice in the back of my mind that told me he was tricking me. That his words were a ruse to lower my guard. I mean, what guy would put himself through this for one night of sex? North was a disgraced actor, desperate to get his life back. Finding a way in with me to get to my father, who was influential enough to help him, made much more sense.
I instantly squirmed with guilt at the thought.
A good guy puts himself through this, another voice fought through my panic. I think he might be a good guy. And if he’s not, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s one night, not a relationship.
Summoning what thread of bravery I had in me, I admitted, “I want to try again.”
North swallowed hard, the crest of his cheeks flushing with arousal. It was kind of adorable. I suddenly was fully aware of the sensation of my breasts pressing against his chest and I knew North was, too, because I felt him harden against my belly. Tingles reawakened in full force between my thighs.
“Let’s start slowly, then,” he suggested gruffly, before taking my hand and leading me toward the bed.
My nerves played skip rope in my stomach again, but I forced myself to follow him.
Then North surprised me by sitting on the edge of the bed. His erection bulged against the zipper of his jeans. That didn’t look comfortable. But he ignored it, staring boldly up at me as he leaned back on his hands. “Just take your hair down first.”
My hair.
Yes, okay, I could do that.
Hands shaking a little, I reached up and tugged out the plain black hair tie. My hair was one of the few things I genuinely liked about myself. That and my eyes. Thick and dark, it spilled down around my shoulders as I released it. North seemed fascinated for a few seconds before his gaze returned to mine. “Now your shirt.”
I found myself in a strange state of arousal and fear at his instructions. Pushing past the fear and leaning into the arousal, I tried to be courageous and held North’s gaze as I slowly unbuttoned my shirt. He broke first, his eyes dipping to follow my hands. When I got to the last visible button, I tugged the hem out of my skirt and released the last few. Taking a deep breath, I shrugged out of it, letting the silk drop to the floor.
“Fuck me,” North breathed as he took me in, eyes lingering on my full breasts cupped by my dark purple bra.
I wanted to slide my arms around my belly to hide the little of it that was exposed by my high-waist skirt, but I urged myself to refrain.
North’s fingers clenched into the duvet behind him and his breathing seemed a little shallower. “How can you not know how fucking sexy you are?”
Wait until the skirt comes off … Or not. “Maybe we could just do it like this?”
He looked into my eyes, understanding in them. “I want all of you.”
It was almost a question. Taking in a shuddering breath and releasing it slowly, I nodded in agreement.
I could do this.
“Take off your bra,” he commanded, voice thick with sex.