What did I expect? That my cock would magically make her trust me?
Fine.
I nodded and stepped back. “All right.”
Aria seemed relieved by my acquiescence. Her smile was soft and too gorgeous for my own good. “Thanks again.”
She walked back into the bedroom, and I followed her. The room smelled of sex, and I could feel myself growing hard, so I quickly pulled on the pajama bottoms folded on the nearest armchair. Aria tucked her shirt into her skirt, grabbed her underwear, and slipped into her heels.
My eyes traveled over her legs, and it just made me harder. The woman had the most fantastic pair I’d ever seen. I wanted them wrapped around my back.
When she was ready, she looked at me and quirked an eyebrow when she saw my arousal. “Oh.”
Her surprise made me smirk. She still wasn’t getting it. “I told you I still want you.”
She visibly swallowed. “Uh, huh.”
I tried again. “You could stay. Help me take care of it.”
For a moment, my heart sped up at her obvious indecision. Then, as if snapping herself out of a daze, she spun toward the door. “I have to go.”
Letting out a slow exhale, I took a second before I crossed the room to open the door for her. “Thank you for an unforgettable night, Aria.”
Her eyes widened ever so slightly, her lips parting in surprise. “T-thank you. Too.”
I gave her a small smile, forcing myself not to touch her. Not to kiss her. Only to watch her as she hurried out of my room, darting down the hallway without looking back.
Finally, I shut the bedroom door and leaned against it.
Plotting.
My life was a disaster at the moment, and the last thing I needed was to jump into another relationship. But I didn’t care. There had to be a way to get Aria to agree to see me. I just had to figure out how to convince her I couldn’t give a flying fuck who her father was. That all I wanted was to get to know her. And to make her come a million times more while I was at it.
Reminded of my arousal, I glanced down. It was time to take a shower and relive every glorious bloody second of my night with the one woman I apparently couldn’t have.
Apparently being the operative word.
Aria had been living in Scotland for a while, but she obviously hadn’t figured out the one thing that many Scots had in common. We were a stubborn bunch of bastards, and I was the biggest stubborn bastard of the lot.
When I wanted something as much as I wanted Aria, I never stopped until what I wanted was mine.
Sixteen
ARIA
Despite the emails in bold declaring themselves unread and stacking up in my inbox, I ignored them temporarily as I tried my sister on the phone for the third time that day. For the third time, it went to voicemail.
The pit in my stomach grew as I laid my cell on the desk and stared at it. My feelings about Allegra were so complicated, and I wondered if finally she felt the parts I never wanted her to feel. There was a place inside me that resented the fact that I’d loved her enough to sacrifice what I’d wanted to parent her in a way I’d never been parented. On the other hand, I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d left her to go off to college on the East Coast. But clearly I fucked up, anyway, because she went off the rails for a bit, and I was constantly worried it would happen again. And I resented her a little for that too. But I loved her more. The idea that she hated me for not backing her plans to drop out of college made me feel restless and hollow.
It was almost enough to distract my thoughts from North.
My phone pinged and I jolted, eagerly reaching for it as I saw a text come in from Allegra. Swiping the screen, I let out a breath.
Sorry, can’t talk now. Got class. Will call you.
The stilted tone, no x’s and o’s instead of the dozens she usually sent, didn’t make me feel any better. But what would I say to her if we actually talked? Oh, by the way, I know I decided you weren’t mature enough to drop out of college because you locked me in a room with a strange man for the night, but I just slept with that guy. Don’t you feel vindicated?
Not that I thought she should feel vindicated. What she did was still wrong. But I knew she’d be hurt and annoyed to discover her plans came to fruition, despite what she saw as punishment.
I just needed to know she was emotionally okay.
I get it. Hope classes are good. Love you xo
I waited five minutes, and she didn’t respond.
It hurt more than I liked because it made me feel used. Like I wasn’t lovable to her unless I helped her get what she wanted out of life.
Now I was just being maudlin. I tutted at myself, turning the phone over to stare at my screen. The clock on my desktop told me it was almost eight o’clock in the evening. Today had been a day. After I got home from my evening with North, I’d showered and barely slept a wink. Then I’d spent the day vacillating between worry for Allegra and daydreams about North Hunter’s heated gaze and boyish smile.
I still couldn’t believe that he’d so obliterated my thoughts with undiluted lust that I’d had sex without overthinking everything. In fact, I’d been thinking only of one thing, and that was North + orgasm = YAY.
Remembering the way he’d kneeled over me, powering into me, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been thinking about the way I looked beneath him. When Lucas took me in that position, I always worried that my belly jiggled with his thrusts, so I always maneuvered him out of it.
Not with North.
I hadn’t cared with North.
He’d made me feel so wanted and attractive I could almost cry thinking about it now. If someone had told me a single night with that Scot could soothe wounds I’d been nursing for years, I never would have believed them. He hadn’t miraculously made me trust men, but I trusted he found me attractive. That he liked my body. And that feeling was addictive. The emails I’d usually use as an excuse not to return to my lonely beach house held no appeal. Instead, my skin flushed at the thought of sneaking upstairs to North’s room.
I hadn’t seen him today. He’d stayed away. Maybe he wouldn’t want me again, anyway.
I should go home.
But the thought of those big empty rooms, my empty bed, filled me with dread. When instead I could have North’s hands on my body, his lips … making me feel good. My pulse raced and I throbbed between my legs.
Oh, hell.
“Suck it up,” I whispered hotly to myself, trying to talk my body into calming down. “Go home, put on a TV show, and forget about him.” He was a disaster waiting to happen.
Decision made, I shut down my computer and grabbed my stuff. I couldn’t help but glance at my phone again to see if Allegra had texted back. She hadn’t. Another pang of hurt flared in my chest. There was an unread text from Mamma, but I left it unread for the night. She’d tried calling me earlier, yet I wasn’t in the mood for her today. Not exactly a pleasant thing to think about my mother, whom I loved dearly, but North had put me in a good mindset about self-esteem and I didn’t want my mother ruining it so soon.
Wakefield had finished for the day an hour ago, and the night butler was most likely hovering near the dining room where I could hear the murmur of guests having a late evening meal. I’d eaten dinner at my desk, trying to catch up on work that would have been done earlier if I hadn’t been so distracted.