A few minutes later, I let myself into the staff elevator, hoping I didn’t bump into anyone because I had sex hair, swollen lips, and I was pretty sure my nipples were hard enough to poke through my bra.
I felt alive.
Awake.
I felt like the girl I’d lost years ago. The one who’d been excited by her sexual awakening before those men came along and made her want to hide.
North had done what Sloane said he might. He’d guided me back to myself. I wasn’t all the way there yet, but I was inching closer.
I just had to keep in mind that this was all it was. My sexual reawakening and a bit of harmless no-strings sex for him.
It was nothing more.
More would hurt us both.
Seventeen
NORTH
Thunderous clouds above had turned the North Sea gunmetal gray as rain battered it, dancing off the water’s surface like oil hopping off a hot pan. I shivered from the safety of the Howards’ beach house porch, admiring the force of nature. Waves crashed onto the shore below, the rhythmic sound, while more aggressive than usual, soothing.
I envied Aria this home, its position, its sanctuary. But only from here. Inside, while stylish and comfortable, it didn’t feel lived in. There was no sign of what Aria’s life consisted of outside work. No hobbies I could see. I imagined her returning home here late every night to no one to hold her and listen about her day and help her decompress.
The idea was miserable, and it agitated me.
She was living half a life here, and it was a damn travesty.
Dictator’s “Moonlight” rang in my arse pocket, and I pulled out my phone to see Theo calling.
Stepping back inside, I closed the porch doors and marveled at the silence that followed. The beach house windows had to be made with special noise-reduction glass. Heat licked my chilled skin as I answered my phone and lounged down by the fire.
“Cavendish, you sneaky bastard,” I answered casually.
He drawled, amused. “What the hell have I done now?”
“You sicced Walker on me about those letters.”
“Oh, that. I just mentioned it in passing. It’s not like I give a shit about you, mate.”
I grinned. “Right. How are you?”
“This lead actor is killing me. I walked into ‘a situation’ when I agreed to guest direct. Viola Stewart, his costar, got a lot of attention for season one, and now he’s acting like a little prick. Late to set, questioning lines, questioning camera shots. Next time he does it, I’m going to fucking stuff him in a used Portaloo.”
My lips twitched. “Who is it again?”
“Lucas Grant. A bit of a newcomer. The bastard has talent and charisma for sure, but Viola’s on another level, and his fragile ego cannot stand it.”
Blood rushed to my ears. “Did you say Lucas Grant?”
“I did.”
That piece of shit had gotten a part in a hit show after he’d screwed over Aria? She didn’t tell me that. “Do me a favor and send the Portaloo off a fucking cliff.”
“You know this guy?”
“I can’t go into details, but he hurt someone I care about.”
“Interesting, considering I found out he used to date Aria Howard,” Theo mused. “He likes to tell anyone who will listen that she fucked up his chances of working with Wesley.”
That scummy bucket of rancid turds. “Make sure that Portaloo is stuffed to the gills with sheep shite before you stuff him in it.”
Theo snorted. “Oh, you have it bad, old boy, don’t you?”
“It’s not about me.”
He considered this. “I only have to tolerate one more week of directing this thing. I’ll come up with something fun to express my appreciation for Lucas’s abhorrent behavior.”
I smirked at the thought. Theo was devious when he wanted to be. “Keep me posted on that.”
“So, what are you up to, my friend? Other than defending a lady’s honor.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m hanging tight on the request of my agent. There might be some movement on the Forster movie.”
“That’s good. You’re at the castle?”
Glancing around the beach house, I lied, “Aye. Still here.”
“Well, I might see you soon, then. Once I’m done here, I’m flying back to Ardnoch to work on that damn script.”
“Still giving you problems?”
“Being here has shaken some ideas loose, but I like the peace up north. Besides, before I left, I made the acquaintance of this young widow from Thurso. An ex-gymnast, if you can believe. Wonderful girl. Very flexible. It’s a bit of a trek to bed her, but she does this thing with—”
“I don’t need to know the details, you dirty bugger.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you like your sex wrapped up in romance and commitment. Sometimes I don’t know why we’re friends.”
Chuckling, I reminded him, “You called me.”
“Yes, well, despite your appallingly saccharine need for monogamy, you are quite a bit less of a prick than most of my other acquaintances.”
“High praise indeed,” I snorted.
“Oh, fuck, they need me back on set. I haven’t even finished my sandwich. Don’t be surprised if the next time you see me I’ve wasted away because soul-sucking fiends known as actors have nourished themselves on my blood and bones.”
“Goodbye, you melodramatic bastard.”
“Yes, well, fuck you too.”
“Talk soon.”
“Tell Ms. Howard I was asking for her,” he snuck in with laughter in his voice before he hung up.
“Bawbag,” I muttered.
I was just reaching for the television remote when the sound of the front door closing brought me to my feet. Anticipation filled me as I strode quickly through the house toward the entrance. As I entered the foyer, I drew to a halt. Aria stood at the door wringing rainwater from her ponytail. Water drops clung to her eyelashes and wet her plump lips. Her olive cheeks glistened with rain, and her soaked shirt clung to her tight nipples. My skin heated and all my blood traveled south.
This woman was a craving I’d never experienced before.
I’d read about it. Damn, even the characters I’d played had experienced it.
But me? Nah. As a teenager, I’d been like any teenage bloke and was sex obsessed.
Since then, I’d definitely wanted the women I’d had relationships with, beyond sex. But I’d never felt like I was on the verge of losing control of my senses every time they walked into a room.
Not like with Aria. And I couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t rational.
I wanted her like I’d wanted no one. Wanted to feel her skin against mine, be inside her hot, tight body, needed to kiss every fucking inch of her. All the damn time.
“I didn’t take a jacket,” she huffed as she squeezed the last of the water from her hair. “I was less than thirty seconds from the castle to my car and then just a few seconds from the car to the house and then—oh!” She startled as I hauled her against me, her hands dropping to my shoulders. Her wet clothes dampened mine, but I was more focused on the warm, soft body beneath them. Whatever she saw on my face made her eyes widen in understanding. “Oh. But … I’m all wet.” She closed her eyes, half smirking at her innuendo. I grinned and squeezed her closer. “You know what I mean.”