Home.
A place I’ll probably never go again. I still haven’t processed that. I had barely been willing to hope that the portal actually went to my home realm instead of one that was just similar. With Lizzie’s arrival, I have confirmation that it would have sent me home. Except the portal is now gone, demolished by my and Bowen’s magic. If Lizzie didn’t already want me dead for stealing from her, she’ll definitely skin me alive for taking away her route home.
I don’t know how to deal with the loss of something I was barely willing to believe I had. I don’t know what this means for my future at all, but there’s no time to process it while aboard the Audacity. Every bit of energy is geared toward avoiding the crew and staring at the horizon behind us, sure that Lizzie somehow found a ship and is already in pursuit. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know how to sail, but it’s not as if that will stop her.
I expect the weather to change and grow colder as we sail continually north, but that assumption is a holdover from my realm. I don’t even know if they have seasons on Threshold. I guess I should figure it out, since I’ll be here for an extended period of time.
I turn to look for Dia, wondering if she’d be willing to share her ever-present joint. Right now, taking the edge off my frantically circling thoughts seems like the only thing I can actually do.
“You’re new.”
I jump and then curse myself for jumping. I’ve caught Nox watching me a few times, but they haven’t approached during the three days we’ve been sailing … until now. “Yeah, pretty new.”
“Strange thing, Bowen being left behind by his crew.” They’re still watching me closely. “He’s one of the more upstanding of our number, and while some”—their blue eyes cut to where Hedd lounges against the helm, looking like he’s sleeping standing up—“think that’s a weakness, he seemed beloved by the Hag’s crew.”
He was. At least by the crew members that Miles hadn’t already coaxed over to his side. Bowen seems to think that Miles would have gained the upper hand eventually, but it’s clear that my presence sped that process up. If not for me, he wouldn’t have called off the hunt of the dragon and the crew wouldn’t have been furious enough to vote him out so quickly.
I feel bad about that … kind of. His problems didn’t start with me, but getting him to question laws that are obviously corrupt can only be a good thing in the long run. I hope. If Lizzie doesn’t kill us both first.
I push that away and give Nox my full attention. “Seems like you have something to say. Might as well stop dancing around the point and spit it out.”
They’re dressed in the customary color of the C?n Annwn, but on them it looks … different. Less like a sailor playing dress-up. On Nox, the crimson leather pants, loose shirt, and duster look like part of them. It’s a neat trick. Bowen wears his cloak with the same level of comfort and identity, but even he hasn’t embraced the color for every bit of his clothing.
They lean on the railing next to me and stare out at the water. “If there’s something you aren’t telling us that will endanger the ship and crew, I’ll kill you myself.”
I blink. “That’s not very siblinghood of the C?n Annwn of you.”
They snort. “Only people like Bowen believe that shit. I believe in consequences, and there are consequences for breaking the laws. For the person doing the breaking and for anyone who helps them, inadvertently or not.” Their amusement fades away. “So answer me truly. Have you broken our laws?”
“No.” Not technically. Probably.
Nox sighs. “Nothing but trouble, the lot of you.”
My nerves threaten to get the best of me. I make a pass at the metal chain hanging from their slim waist on instinct. I can’t help it. Stealing shit makes me feel more in control. It always has.
Nox grabs my wrist and raises their brows. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Holy shit, they’re fast. Faster than Lizzie, even. I blink up into their perfect face. “What are you?”
“That’s a very rude question to ask.” They lift up my hand between us and shake it a little. “If you attempt to steal from me again, I’ll—”
“Kill me. Yeah, I got it.”
Their lips curve. They really are beautiful in an otherworldly kind of way. “Nah, I might just keep you.”
“Excuse me?”
They turn my hand over and press their fingers lightly to my palm. “I like your energy, Evelyn. You’re trouble in the best way. We’d have some fun together.”
I … Wow. Nothing about this conversation has gone how I expected it to. I carefully pull my wrist from their grip and smile. “In another life, I would take you up on it. You seem like fun.”
“I am the very definition of fun, as long as you don’t cross me and mine.” Their gaze shifts over my shoulder and their smile widens. “Oh dear, I do believe I’ve pissed off your hulking protector. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bowen this furious. He’s normally so stoic.” They lean closer. “What do you think he’ll do if I—”
They’re abruptly lifted into the air and deposited several feet away. The surprise on their face is a perfect match to the feeling rocking me. Did Bowen just use his magic on them?
I get my answer when the man himself appears at my back. His shadow falls over me and he clasps my hips, tugging me back into the curve of his body. But when he speaks, it’s not for me. “Keep your hands off her, Nox.”
Nox grins, and it’s as if they weren’t threatening me and then hitting on me in turn a few moments ago. “Never thought I’d see the day. You like her.”
“Fuck off.”
They laugh and turn on their heel, making their duster flare out dramatically around them. “Pass on my message, Evelyn. It’s important you don’t get in my way.” They stride away, their long legs eating up the distance between us and the helm.
Bowen’s hands tighten on my hips. “What message?”
“Oh, you know, the usual.” I can’t decide if I want to step away or snuggle back more firmly against him. He’s warm and strong and has been steadfastly ignoring my open invitation to come to my room since we arrived. It probably has something to do with keeping up appearances, but I’m scared and lonely and … silly to say I miss him after sharing his bed for only one night, but it’s the truth.
“You’re angry at me.” He turns us toward the railing and shifts so his cloak covers me as well. I wasn’t cold before, but I’m instantly warm in a way that curls my toes.
I’m not ready to admit he’s right, mostly because I didn’t realize I was angry until this very moment. “Nox just wanted to let me know that if we do something to endanger the crew, they’ll kill us themself. Simple, really.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about, Evelyn.” His breath ghosts against the curve of my ear. “Were they attempting to seduce you? They’re quite good at it.”
“Have they seduced you?” I don’t mean to ask the question, but I never mean to ask questions when I’m around Bowen. They just … pop out.