“They’ve tried.”
Jealousy flashes through me so intensely that I stagger a little. Holy fuck, where did that come from? Bowen and I aren’t anything resembling official or exclusive. Three days ago, I was about to leave him behind forever. Not to mention I’ve hardly been a saint before meeting him, and expecting that of him is really shitty.
But Nox is svelte and charming and dangerous and devastatingly attractive. If they’ve ever doubted their place in the world, they don’t now. Why wouldn’t Bowen want to be seduced by them?
“Why didn’t you let them succeed?”
“Evelyn.”
Gods, but I love the way he says my name. Here, in this moment, it might as well be just the two of us. I can hear the crew moving about their business, but they feel very far away. “What?”
“Why are you angry with me? Is this about Lizzie?”
I shudder. I’ve been trying very hard not to think about Lizzie at all. She should be at a disadvantage since she’s in an unfamiliar realm with no transportation, but she shouldn’t have been able to find a portal and me so quickly, either. Underestimating her is a good way to end up dead.
Even so …
I’m so fucking weak, because I’m glad we escaped without killing her. “I don’t want her to die. Even after everything. That’s very silly, isn’t it? I won’t say she never cared about me at all, but she’s not sentimental enough to let feelings get in the way of her end goals. I wish I could say the same.”
“Very few people are that single-minded when there’s someone they care about on the other side of the conflict.” He settles his arms more firmly around me. “You’re not weak for wanting to keep the people you’ve cared about safe.”
Even if they don’t give you the same courtesy.
He doesn’t say it, but I hear the words all the same. I want to argue that Lizzie shot at him, not me, but I know better. She’s too smart to just straight-up kill me without getting the location of the family jewels first.
I could say all that, but instead what comes out of my mouth is something entirely different. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play like you don’t know what I’m talking about. They set us up in our own rooms and you could have been in mine this whole time, but you haven’t.”
His sigh rumbles through his chest and into my back. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted it, and I didn’t want to put you in a position where you felt like you had to keep sharing my bed to ensure my protection.”
Oh, of all the honorable nonsense. “Bowen.” I turn around, and he allows it, but he doesn’t move back. I have to strain my neck to look into his dark eyes. “If someone tried to pressure their way into my bed, I’d curse them. I’m very good at cursing people, and Bunny had some incredibly creative ones she taught me. How about instead of assuming you know what’s best for me, you just ask me what I want?”
He frowns at me as if I’m being ridiculous, when he’s the one being ridiculous. Finally, he says, “Would you like to share my bed, Evelyn?”
“Yes. Next question—what the fuck are we going to do about Lizzie?”
“I don’t know.”
It’s not the answer I want, but it is the most honest one. That doesn’t mean I like it. “Any of the C?n Annwn who come across her and try to force a vow will end up dead.” I speak slowly, feeling my way. “I suppose that eventually becomes a numbers game. Lizzie is ridiculously powerful but she’s not all-powerful. She won’t survive indefinitely.”
I realize that should make me happy—or if not happy, then relieved. She doesn’t deserve to die just because she hurt my feelings, but I’m also not going to offer up my throat just because I made the mistake of stealing from her. There are no good options.
“That’s the most likely scenario if she won’t accept the vow.” Bowen lifts his head and looks out to sea. “I suppose the people on Sarvi might take pity on her and fold her into their ranks. There’s a small chance she could escape notice that way, though I don’t know that it would save her indefinitely. Unless you think it’s likely she’ll kill them, too.”
“No. She’s more than happy to slaughter her enemies, and occasionally her family, but she’s not one for indiscriminate murder.” There is absolutely no possibility of Lizzie giving up the hunt and settling down into some mundane life in a village on Sarvi. Even if there was … “Do the C?n Annwn police the locals?”
Bowen’s jaw goes tight. “We’re not supposed to interfere with the citizens of Threshold.”
Easy enough to read between the lines. It’s not even surprising that the C?n Annwn would overreach. Anytime there’s power to be had, there’s power to be misused. Threshold isn’t exempt from that rule. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and all that.
“Then she’s still a threat. It won’t take her long to figure out she can’t kill her way to me or the family jewels on the Crimson Hag. She’ll take a different route.”
“You sound almost relieved.”
I am, damn it. Or at least I should be. I shiver. Bowen tucks his cloak more firmly around me. He wraps his arms around me for good measure. As much as I appreciate the comfort, it does little to combat the conflicted feelings inside me. “I won’t say I loved her, because that wasn’t what we were to each other. But I’m fool enough to give at least part of my heart to the people I sleep with. I don’t want her dead. If she comes for me, I’ll do whatever it takes to survive, but really I’m going to hope that she never finds me again.” If I can find another portal to hop through, it becomes less likely. Threshold is littered with them, so it’s just a matter of going through one that she doesn’t expect.
Which means leaving Bowen behind. For real this time.
CHAPTER 24
Bowen
AFTER GETTING EVELYN’S THINGS INTO MY CABIN, I leave her to get settled and go in search of Dia. Unsurprisingly, I find her near the stern, smoking. I prop my elbows on the railing next to her and exhale slowly. “You were there when they voted me out. How likely is Miles to pursue branding me a traitor for letting the dragon flee?”
She blows a smoke ring. “He will want to do it for spite, but a brand-new captain is in a precarious position. The crew might not like what you did with the dragon, or how you handled the witch, but you have many years of goodwill built up, even if their confidence in you waned in recent months. When they voted you out, they were very clear in their wishes. They don’t want you dead—they just don’t want you as captain anymore. Miles is too smart to push something that might turn them against him.” She pauses to inhale deeply. “I wouldn’t go handing him a knife and turning my back, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
It’s what I wanted to hear, and yet it makes me feel so empty. “They just … sailed away.”
“Yep.” Dia offers me her joint and shrugs when I shake my head. “That’s one thing Ezra failed to teach you. The C?n Annwn may paint themselves in crimson and importance, but at their heart, they are a fleet of pirates. Pirates look out for themselves, Bowen. It’s time you do the same.”