At my side, Evelyn shifts a little. “You’re talking in circles. If you really want to be free, we need to remove the Council and hope the originals aren’t around anymore to take interest in the goings-on in Threshold.”
“Yes.” They look at each of us in turn. “It’s not time to make that move. There are too many captains like Hedd out there, too many crews who are happy to misuse the power that comes with flying crimson sails. If we remove the current Council, a new one will pop up in its place. They might not be in a place to make real change for years, or even longer. Making a public move is a huge risk and we’ll get a single shot at it. This won’t be a dramatic, quick battle. If you’re signing on with us, you’re signing on for the drudgery of a long-haul voyage.”
“Speak. Plainly,” Evelyn snaps. “We’re facing a choice just like we were facing when we first came to Threshold—join up, or die. The difference is that we’re going to sail around, pretending to be the C?n Annwn, occasionally killing actual monsters and saving people.”
Nox smiles thinly. “It seems I don’t have to speak plainly, after all. You understand me well enough.”
If we’re found out, we’ll be executed in a truly spectacular way. This goes beyond making a vow and running, or disobeying a direct order. This is out-and-out rebellion. I wrap my arm around Evelyn’s shoulders. “And this leader? Who are they?”
“Very few people know their identity, and you’ll probably live and die without finding out.” They meet my gaze steadily. “Can you handle that?”
“As long as you—and they—don’t require unquestioning obedience. I won’t spend the rest of my life moving about with my eyes closed. If I don’t agree with an order, I’m going to question it, and if I still don’t agree with it, I will not be obeying. Can you handle that?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” They swivel to face Lizzie. “You. Vampire. You’ve been awfully quiet since mouthing off a few minutes ago.”
“And interrupt this rousing speech?” She sounds absolutely bored. “As I said, the only reason I’m here is to get my family heirlooms. I’m hunting the Crimson Hag. As soon as I find that ship, I’m returning to my realm. Expect no vows from me, but I’m more than capable of pulling my weight and playing nice in the meantime.”
It’s hardly a binding promise, but I’m beginning to understand that it’s as close to one as Lizzie will get. I tuck Evelyn tighter against my body and look down at her. “Well? What do you think?”
She’s a little pale, a little scared. But her smile is genuine. “I do believe that your paladin ways are rubbing off on me. Let’s be the good guys.”
CHAPTER 35
Evelyn
BEING ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS IS A LOT OF FUCKING work. It takes nearly a full day to clean up the bloodbath caused by Lizzie and Bowen. Apparently a burial at sea just means tossing the bodies over the railing. I’d assume they’d wash ashore in short order, but when I say as much to Nox, they get a strange look on their face and say, “They won’t have a chance to.”
I don’t know what that means, but I suspect it has to do with sea monsters, and in that case I’m better off not knowing. I maintain that eliminating the mermaids was a service to the people of Three Sisters. I’m glad that I forced the issue with the dragon; I really hope she and her youngling escaped okay. But that doesn’t mean I want to know about every predator that hunts beneath the surface.
Not when I’m sailing on what amounts to a tiny boat. Yes, the ship is plenty huge, but compared to a kraken or some other beastie that I’ve never heard of? The thought makes my skin prickle, so I very intentionally don’t let myself linger on it.
Bowen and I are assigned the same cabin as before, but there’s no time or energy to do anything but sleep in the bed. We work all day, then collapse into a state not unlike unconsciousness at nightfall. Even so, the change in Bowen is marked.
He’s lighter on his feet. Smiles more often. Even his shoulders seem straighter, as if he set down a burden he’s been carrying for far too long. And when he holds me, he holds me closely, as if he believes I might slip away at any moment.
On the fourth day, Lizzie finds me hiding in the pantry. She leans against the door and crosses her arms over her chest. “What are you doing?”
“Just taking an unsanctioned break.”
“I see.” Instead of letting the awkwardness grow or walking away, she steps into the pantry and drops down on the faded wooden box next to me. “The portal to our home realm is destroyed.”
“Yeah.” Guilt tries to wrap around my throat, but it took two of us to make that happen. I was reckless with my magic, and she wasn’t exactly slowing down to ask questions before she attacked. “I’d say we both share the blame with that.”
She shakes her head. “You’re always so eager to look for someone to blame. It was an accident, and beyond that, it’s not the only way home. Threshold might be the space that connects all realms, but that doesn’t mean the rest of them aren’t also connected in some way. It will take some time, but there’s no proof that it’s impossible.”
She’s not saying anything that I hadn’t already considered myself, but that raises the question of why she’s saying it. I twist to face her. “If anyone can do it, you can.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.” She taps her fingers on her knee. “What I’m trying to say is that I realize I may share part of the responsibility for us coming to this place and getting into this situation. As such, I’m offering to escort you home. After I retrieve my family heirlooms.”
Shock steals my words for several long moments. She hasn’t tried to murder me lately, but a removal of active animosity is not quite the same thing as forgiveness. Neither is this, technically. Still, it’s more than I could have dreamed of being offered. “You’re serious.”
“I see how you light up around him, Evelyn. You might think it’s love, but what happens when the lust wears off? You’ll realize that you’re stuck in a life you never wanted. You like to party, steal things, and embrace every moment of life to its fullest. If you stay here and take part in some revolution, you’re likely to end up dead.” She stares at her fingers. “It … upsets me … to think you might die for a cause that’s not yours.”
Maybe it should hurt that she wasn’t willing to give even the slightest indication of caring until I was well beyond her reach. There was a moment in the past when I could’ve given my heart to this vampire. I don’t know if it would’ve worked out, but it doesn’t matter anymore. That moment is gone. I still care about her, but it will never be what I feel for Bowen.
Still, the fact that she’s offering this option at all warms my chest. I bump my shoulder against hers. “I care about you, too, you know. But what I feel for Bowen is entirely different. It’s more than just caring, and certainly more than just lust. I love him.”
She sighs. “I thought you might say that.”
“You’re right that I’ve never had a cause to fight for before now, but this one is noble. It’s one that Bunny would approve of.” It’s true, but it’s not the full truth. “But even if she wouldn’t have … it’s time I start making my own decisions. I believe in this cause. What the C?n Annwn are doing in Threshold is wrong, and I might not be a great warrior, but I can help right the wrongs they’ve committed. It’s dangerous, but it’s the right thing to do and I feel strongly about being part of it.”