He was just trying to get Luna back to Chris, really. So Dash turned, put a finger up to his lips, and pointed to the baby, hoping this would squash the rest of their conversation.
But the women continued to follow him as he walked down the sidewalk.
“What are the tats of? Is that one a horse?” one of them called out behind him.
“It’s actually just the words Mind your own damn business.” He shouldn’t have responded—he realized that too late—because there was a very real chance these women could upload the video to social, and then his mom would have a lot of questions he didn’t want to answer.
Their jaws dropped in unison, and they stopped walking, so Dash took the opportunity to pick up the pace, keeping a hand on Luna’s back as he walk-jogged down the street and out of their sight.
He was more than aware （and a little annoyed） that if he had gone to AA, none of this would’ve happened in the first place. As if the universe was reminding him that he’d broken a promise to Chris. Still, he hadn’t gone, and maybe he did deserve a bit of skewering as a result.
“You look like you’ve been through the wringer.” Chris reached for Luna as he opened the door. “Was it a rough meeting or something?”
Dash shook his head as he took off the backpack and placed it on the table in the entryway. He couldn’t meet Chris’s eyes and lie to him about not attending the meeting. So he changed the subject. “My tenant—”
“The drunk one?”
“Well.” Dash licked his lips, because Sophie wasn’t just the drunk one, and now he was regretting telling Chris that fact in the first place. “Yes, but she’s also a successful writer. She wants to help write the speech for my dad, actually.”
“Oh, I assume you told her no?” Chris, who had acquired the power to multitask now that he had a kid, had prepped a bottle and was already seated in a rocker with Luna. Her hands wrapped around the bottle as she drank.
“Not exactly. I mean, she seemed excited about it.” Dash traced a finger along the outline of his jaw. “And I need someone to be excited. My mom thinks the speech will put me back in the public eye and into acting again. But I don’t know how to tell her that I’m not interested in acting anymore.”
“A job can be fluid, and you’re allowed to change your mind.” Chris was a former pro baseball player turned stay-at-home dad, so it was hard to argue with him there. “Surely even Kitty understands that.”
Dash was fairly certain that Kitty did not understand that, though. She’d pitted Dash and Reece against each other their entire lives to see who would become America’s Next Top Leading Man. And while Reece had been more than up for the challenge, Dash had never risen to the occasion, much to his mom’s dismay.
“Have you thought about a timeline for telling them yet?” Chris asked.
“Not really. I’m just trying to get through this speech.”
Dash wandered toward the kitchen and away from the living room where Chris sat with Luna. He really didn’t want to have this discussion.
“Maybe this speech will open a floodgate for you. Once you get through it, you’ll see some of that inner strength I know you have. And I’m telling you, when and if you share your recovery journey, you never know who you might inspire.”
Dash did not respond. It was taking a lot of his inner strength to not tell Chris to back off. And Chris, to his credit, must’ve realized Dash wasn’t going to take the bait.
“I’m just saying that it’s been a long time since you’ve said yes to anything,” Chris said. “If you keep shutting everything down, you’re going to miss out on your life.”
“Jesus, Chris, the guy just came in the door.” Mira padded into the room in slippers and sweats. Her hair was wet but fell in loose curls across her shoulders.
“He’s going to become one of those reclusive types with a million cats…”
Mira rolled her eyes at Chris. She took Luna from him, and the baby instantly burped. “First of all, cats are a gift to this world. He should be so lucky to have a million.”
“Mira is a bit of a hoarder,” Chris whispered to Dash.
Mira knocked Chris with her hip. “Thank you for watching Luna, Dash. I came home from work and finally got to shower. You’re a good friend. That’s what you should’ve said, FYI.”
“Okay, fine, you’re right.” Chris gave Mira a knowing look, and she smirked back.
Dash turned away from their moment. He needed coffee, so he found a mug in their cabinet and intended to fill it all the way to the top. But the words Chris had said bubbled up to the surface of his thoughts. If you keep shutting everything down, you’re going to miss out on your life. Dash didn’t shut everything down. He’d had to scrape away so much of his old life just to be secure in his sobriety, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t living…
When he turned back to tell his friend as much, he saw Chris and Mira sitting on the couch. Luna’s head rested against Mira’s chest, as she gripped Chris’s index fingers with her hands.
He’d always thought he’d be a dad, but he now knew he wouldn’t be able to have a family. What if he relapsed at some point? He couldn’t imagine having a baby, a little Luna of his own, and then putting them through a life where he may or may not be drinking.
Chris had been sober for five years before even considering the idea of a family. He’d met Mira, and eventually they had Luna. He should’ve been able to see Chris as a role model, but Dash wasn’t like Chris. And he realized, in that moment, that he was an outsider looking in on what he would never have.
SOPHIE’S TIKTOK
Ex number one
Name: Serenity
Occupation: Yoga instructor
Length of relationship: Four months
Reason for breakup:
Serenity wanted an open relationship
Weeks until book is due: 5.5
“I should be writing. I’m sitting at my writing desk, surrounded by the books I love most, and this would be a perfect time to finish my second book. But I still have writer’s block.” Sophie was flanked by bookshelves—her happy place. She’d organized the books by romance trope—fake-dating and second-chance on one row, slow-burn and Regency on another, billionaire, forced-proximity, and friends-to-lovers all in a line. Her enemies-to-lovers book collection took up two full and glorious rows—by far her favorite.
Sophie clocked the framed photo of her and her mom on the desk and had a twinge of guilt. She sighed deeply, then continued, “So instead of writing, I’m meeting up with one of my exes to see if they can help me figure out why I’ve never fallen in love. Because yes, I know I need help, and I’m not afraid to ask for it. But before I tell you about the first one I decided to reach out to, who I will call Serenity for privacy reasons, I wanted to lay out the rules for who I’ll be meeting up with.
“One, we must have dated for more than three months, which is the threshold for whether a relationship is a relationship, in my opinion. Two, I must ask the question Why didn’t we fall in love? And three, I need to ask if they’d ever be open to dating me again. After all, I write romance, and second-chance romance is a big and beautiful trope in my world. I’d be missing out if I didn’t at least explore that option, right?