“Hey.” Ned’s voice was soft. She turned to see him coming out of his house with two mugs of coffee. “Thought you could use a little fuel.”
He handed her a mug, and she was grateful for the coffee and the excuse to not stare at her current work in progress. Her palms warmed as she sipped. “Thank you.”
“Was everything okay with Dash?” He straddled the bench next to her.
“Yeah, just wasn’t feeling well.” She’d never been great at lying and took another sip to hide her expression.
“Sorry to hear that.” Ned glanced at the rising sun.
“I wanted to apologize.” Sophie put her coffee down on the table and closed her laptop. “You were right. It was mean of me to just cut you off in high school. Subconsciously, I think I wanted to be loved so badly, and I was trying to force that on us. When you didn’t reciprocate my feelings, I just bailed. I’m so sorry.”
Sophie briefly rubbed a spot on Ned’s knee to try to reassure him that she was being sincere. He scratched at his hair before responding.
“You know, you were always writing. And all your stories had these overly romantic, optimistic versions of relationships, even back then.” Ned gave her a faint smile. “Sometimes with us, you would slip into this idealized version of me, too. Kind of projecting who you wanted me to be instead of seeing who I was.”
Sophie found herself leaning forward to listen to him, because he was making a point she hadn’t yet considered. Sure, Sophie lived inside the stories she created while she was writing them, but did she really create alternate realities in her real life, too?
“Do you think that’s why we never fell in love? I wasn’t seeing who you really were?”
“I just think you have crazy-high standards.” He shrugged. “But I do wish we’d stayed friends. Neither of us had many back then.”
Well, that was true. They’d both been loners. And when she lost Ned, she had lost someone to talk to.
“If there’s ever anything I can do to make it up to you, just tell me.”
Ned hesitated before responding but eventually looked up and gave her a curious look. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”
Sophie wanted to make sure they left on good terms, so she added, “Everything obviously worked out for the best. You have Brittany and a baby girl on the way.”
“And you have Dash.” He motioned toward the guesthouse, and Sophie glanced over. She wondered what Dash was doing at that moment. Was he awake? Actively avoiding her by hiding behind the curtains?
Sophie hesitated before eventually saying, “Right.” She didn’t move to correct Ned, even though she should. Maybe it was the fantasy part of her brain, but she wanted to live in the illusion that Dash was hers, and she was his, for a little longer.
The illusion was shattered almost instantly when Dash emerged from the guesthouse an hour later. He had the same scowl on his face Sophie had seen so many times before, and while she wasn’t shocked to see him looking a little rough around the edges, it was still a stark contrast from the Dash she’d known hours earlier.
“The repair shop called.” He held his phone up for evidence. “She’s ready.”
The drive home was quiet. Sophie usually filled the silence, but instead chose to stare straight ahead. It was a good thing she was strapped into her seat, because if there was any more tension in the car she might spring through the window from it.
Sophie would honestly love to go back to the effortless chatter they’d had the day before, but now she wasn’t sure how to act around Dash. Where were they supposed to go from there? And based on Dash’s still-present scowl, it was entirely possible that he regretted their night together. She couldn’t wrap her head around what he was getting from their situation anyway. She’d puked on him, talked his ear off about tractors, and indirectly been the cause of him being stranded with a broken-down car. She understood her attraction to Dash—he was basically the real-life version of the brooding men she saw illustrated on romance covers—but had he only made out with her because he was feeling vulnerable?
She had no idea. But her phone pinged and snapped her out of the staring contest she was having with the road. She blinked and snuck a look at Dash, who watched her out of the corner of his eye. Was he just counting down the minutes until they got home so he could pretend this whole thing never happened? She pulled the phone from her dress pocket and had a new notification in her group chat.
Nina: How was the trip?
Sophie typed, I’m only just heading back now, actually…
Poppy: Don’t tell me my brother left you. I will kill him.
Sophie wanted a sinkhole to appear in the floor of the car and swallow her up. Poppy was her best friend. Dash was her best friend’s brother. Sophie was…a monster. A terrible friend. What had she been thinking by straddling Dash’s lap? Best friends shouldn’t ride their best friend’s brother’s dicks…right?
Her stomach churned at the thought of Poppy discovering the truth. Their friendship wouldn’t survive the fact that Sophie had been so selfish and betrayed her. As those thoughts swirled through her, Sophie blurted out, “We can’t tell your sister.”
Dash did not immediately agree, the way she’d assumed he would. Instead, he kept his eyes on the road—either being a great driver or finding an easy excuse to avoid her—and simply said, “Okay.”
“Okay? Just, okay? If she finds out, I’m pretty sure she’ll kill me. Maybe both of us?” Sophie’s shoulders went up to her ears at the thought. “You’ve seen how she gets when she’s mad. One time, at the spa, someone on staff accidentally ate her vegan queso, and Poppy had to lock herself in the meditation room because she didn’t want to shout while there were clients in the middle of sessions.”
She was talking very quickly, but it was all true. Poppy was not a forgiving person. She held grudges. And she and Dash could never, ever tell Poppy about the night they’d had.
“There’s nothing to tell, really. We just kissed.” He shrugged, but Sophie frowned. Sure, she supposed they had just kissed, but…hadn’t it been more?
“Did you get the answers you needed from Ned?” Dash continued.
Sophie blinked at the mention of her ex’s name. Had she gotten the answers she needed? “Well, he told me my standards are too high. I don’t know, maybe he’s right. I guess I can be—”
Dash cut her off by loudly blowing air through his lips. “Men tell women they have high standards when they can’t meet them. Your standards are exactly as they should be. He’s just not good enough for you.”
Sophie’s cheeks burned hot, but she wasn’t sure if it was because what he’d said sounded like a compliment or that he’d defended her. Dash being on her side made her straighten in her seat, like he was physically lifting her up. Which was when she knew she needed to ask the question she didn’t actually want an answer to. “So what should we do about what happened last night?”
Dash’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, then he looked at her, and time slowed as his gaze met hers. She’d seen this heartfelt expression from him before in one of his movies. Was he putting on a show for her now, or was he being genuine? She couldn’t exactly tell.