She squeezed his hand back. “It’s okay. I will make you feel bad about it during strategic moments where I need to manipulate you. Don’t worry.”
His sister smiled widely at him, and a little sense of relief came. Not the same relief he’d felt from initially telling Sophie, but it made him feel lighter all the same.
“Hey,” Sophie said as she entered the room. She held a mug of coffee and was in one of her loose dresses with her hair up in a messy bun. She’d showered, and the makeup from the day before had been washed off. The freckles on her cheeks popped as she attempted to smile at him. She was so gorgeous that he had to look away.
But she handed him the mug, which he took. The coffee aroma made his temples twitch with longing. He sipped.
Dash took his coffee and plate of food to the kitchen table, where Chris and Poppy had already sat down. Sophie came next to him and rubbed her palm across his back before taking a seat. He’d worked so hard to keep all these parts of his life separate—family, friends, and relationships—but now they were here and expecting…what, from him, exactly?
“Am I the only one eating?” he asked.
“Bro, it’s noon,” Chris said. “Believe it or not, some of us wake up early and have already had a second lunch. Thank you, Poppy.”
“No problem.” Poppy waved a breezy hand at Chris. “And I made myself an energizing smoothie with goji and chia and saved you a glass for later.”
She winked at him, knowing how much he’d dislike all those words in one sentence. He played along and winked back.
But he knew they couldn’t dance around reality forever. He’d relapsed, and now he had to find a way back to sobriety. “Is it too late for me to ask for help?” Dash stared at his food and waited for a reply.
“We’re kind of already on it,” Sophie quickly said.
Chris bounced Luna on his knee as he answered. “Let’s do one thing at a time. Have breakfast, drink coffee, start to feel like a human again, then we can talk about the options. Okay?”
Dash nodded, and when he looked up, Sophie watched him warmly. There was no judgment or fear from her, just kindness, and he knew he wanted to do everything he could to never hurt her again.
As Dash packed a bag that he’d take with him to the rehab center, the door to his room creaked open, and he turned to see Sophie.
“How are you feeling?” she gently asked.
How was he feeling? Oh, about three million shades of shitty. He was ashamed that Sophie had seen him drunk in a bar and still in total shock that his mom had sold him out in an attempt to get him back into acting. Where to even start, really?
“I can’t believe…” He let out a shaky breath and looked at his feet planted firmly against the creamy shag rug. “I threw everything away.”
To his surprise, she wrapped an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He released a relieved breath at the feel of her fitted perfectly against him.
“You didn’t throw anything away,” she said. “I’m here. Poppy’s here. Chris is here. We’re all here for you.”
When he didn’t say anything, she pressed him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He rubbed at one of his eyes, willing himself to not be hungover. But he knew that was useless. And yes, he did want to talk about it. All of it. So long as it was with her. He was done keeping things from Sophie.
“My mom…” he said despairingly.
Sophie filled in after an extended silence, “I’m so sorry she did that to you.” She wrapped her fingers through his and held him steady.
“In her own twisted way, she thought she was helping me. That’s the fucked-up part.” His lips twitched, and he blew out a breath. “I guess, looking back, I always had a kind of tendency to try to handle everything on my own. I didn’t like to ask for help, so people never really knew when I was in trouble. And I started to drink a lot because I was convinced that drinking made me a more interesting person. I was so sure that no one liked me when I was sober and that drinking brought out this fun, charming part of me. The part that my mom always wanted me to have, and that Reece and my dad have naturally. When I drank, I felt like I’d become the Montrose she and everyone else expected me to be. I was loud and cracked jokes and stayed out all night partying. It became this sort of crutch, like, I needed to drink to be worthy of my own last name. And without a drink, I was just Dash.”
He had never fully told this part of his story to anyone—just snippets so he didn’t reveal too much of himself. Now that Sophie knew, though, he felt like a poison had been drained from him. He was lighter.
“Just Dash is who I like best.” She gave him a soft smile and scratched his back with her nails. “What made you get sober?”
He took in a deep breath. He never had liked thinking about this moment. “For movies, you have to get a physical so they can take out insurance and make sure that if anything happens on set, you’re in tip-top health. And I was about to start this movie that I was really excited for. It was another indie film and a role I really felt like I understood. My mom hated it, of course—she always thinks indies aren’t worth anyone’s time. But when I was with the doctor doing the exam, they ran some bloodwork and did a physical. At my follow-up, she told me that my liver was starting to fail, and if I didn’t stop drinking, I would die by the time I was fifty.”
“Oh, my God,” Sophie breathed out.
“I just… That really sobered me up, for lack of a better phrase.” He reached for the now-cool mug of coffee on his nightstand and took a needed sip. “I didn’t want to die. I don’t know, I just had this massive wake-up call, and I went to an AA meeting later that day. I was drunk when I showed up, but it’s where I met Chris.”
Sophie tightly gripped his hand, which reminded him that she shouldn’t even be there with him. She should stay as far away as possible from his chaos. He loosened his grip on her.
“You don’t have to do this,” he said. “You can leave. I’ll be okay.”
But would he be okay? He wasn’t totally sure. He just forced himself to say the words so she’d have an easy out.
“I’m not leaving.” She was a little more forceful with her tone than usual.
“Why are you being nice to me?” He shook his head as he looked at her. “I left you and drove to a bar and got drunk yesterday. That should scare you. You should want to run from me.”
He hadn’t been mad at her, not until that moment when she was making the dumbest mistake of her life by trusting him. Again. He had to talk her out of wanting to be by his side.
But she brushed the hair from his face and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing so hard that he started to say ouch.
“Listen to me, Dash Montrose.” Sophie’s eyes went wide. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for you, just as you are. And if you think I’m going to walk away because of one mistake, then you’re wrong. Despite everything, I trust you. I always have. And I trust that if you make more mistakes, we’ll figure them out together.” Then she released his shoulder and smoothed a hand over her bun. “Now, hurry up and pack so you can say a proper goodbye to Rain Boots and Richard.”