She sighed, folding her arms across her chest, the blanket slipping down. “I wanted everything to happen. I’m just surprised at myself, that’s all. I’ve never been very … boy crazy, I guess. Or girl crazy,” she quickly tacked on, for Kilian’s benefit.
That seemed to amuse him because he chuckled.
“Do you think the bond is making you feel this way?” Niko asked, now watching her very carefully.
She shook her head. “I wanted to think that for a while. I thought—since I’m not supposed to be able to scent you—that your scents were like … hypnotising me?” She looked down at her lap, embarrassed. “That sounds stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Kilian let out a low, short growl that he quickly cut off. “Nothing you say to us right now will sound stupid.”
“And now?” Niko pressed, reaching out to lay his hand over her blanket, somehow knowing exactly where her foot was. He squeezed gently, forcing her eyes back up to his.
She shrugged, her embarrassment deepening. “Theo explained that people’s natural scents smell better or worse depending on your level of attraction to them.”
“So your feelings aren’t from the bond?” Kilian asked.
She stiffened.
Who the hell said anything about feelings?
“The bond isn’t forcing you into sexual situations with the others?” Niko clarified, his eyes narrowing as they took in her expression.
“N-No.” She shook her head quickly. “I could have stopped it at any time. I knew I could. Oscar’s scary but he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“He might hurt you,” Niko said seriously.
He made her scream.
“Only when I want him to,” she answered quietly.
Kilian grunted. “What do you mean? We need you to be specific.”
“I don’t like when Oscar threatens to be violent to other people, or … when I think he’s upset at me. I don’t like violence or anger in general. Cian made sure to tell me I wasn’t being punished for anything—if he hadn’t done that, I might have freaked out. But when they aren’t angry at me …” She trailed off, at a complete loss for how to explain herself.
“When you want to be claimed by your mate,” Niko supplied for her. “You want it done forcefully.”
She peered at him curiously. “How did you know that?” The questions rushed out of her now that he had managed to vocalise what she couldn’t: “Is that weird? Is it like that for all mates? Is it because you’re Alphas? I’ve never heard of anything like this before.”
“It might not be normal for everyone, but that doesn’t make it weird,” Niko answered calmly, his thumb now running along the bottom of her foot through the blanket.
It wasn’t like him to offer her physical comfort, but he seemed to be doing it deliberately, making sure that she didn’t feel like they were cornering her or lecturing her.
It was working.
She suddenly felt like she could tell Niko anything …
“Can you force people to tell you the truth?” she asked, a hint of an accusation in her tone.
He grinned the lovely lopsided smile he rarely gave her. “I can, but I’m not doing it right now.”
“Doesn’t stop everyone from telling him everything,” grumbled Kilian. “He tricks you with his stupid ‘friendly neighbourhood therapist’ face.”
Isobel snorted. “Okay, sorry.”
“Don’t be.” His smile dimmed a little. “It’s all speculation at this stage, but it might have something to do with Alpha natures—because your mates are Alphas, you may want to be claimed in a very ‘Alpha’ way, or maybe these are just your personal proclivities. You didn’t have much experience before this year, so it’s a little hard to speculate about that.”
“Not that it really matters whether this is just how you prefer things,” Kilian added. “Because preferences aren’t set in stone. They can change whenever you want them to change. You don’t need to be a certain way just to make yourself fit with other people.”
She chewed on her lip, thinking it through before finally shaking her head. “I’m definitely not doing anything just to fit them.”
“Good.” He bent down, nuzzling her cheek, and she barely managed to contain the insane urge to lift her face and nuzzle him back.
“So you aren’t being pressured—outside of what you like,” Niko summarised. “And you aren’t being controlled by the bond. And you’re comfortable with the traffic light system?”
“I like it.” She stared back at Niko, a creeping suspicion making its way into her mind. “Did they send you guys in here to have a sex talk with me?”
His smile was back, wider than ever. “I volunteered, but they all thought it was important. And we would really like to get you to a doctor so you can talk to her about contraception.”
“I have the implant.” She indicated her arm. “My father made my mom take me to get it a week before he dropped me off here.”
“How long does that last?” Niko asked, quickly masking his surprise. “Three years?”
She nodded, and he released her foot, some of the tension she hadn’t even noticed he was carrying seeping out of his broad shoulders.
“You can come and talk to me or Kilian if you’re ever uncomfortable with anything, okay? You can also go to Mikel and Kalen. It might be tempting to approach Gabriel or Elijah, since they always have an answer to everything, but I’m starting to think that might not be the best idea.”
“Why?” She frowned, a tendril of concern working its way along her chest.
“Gabriel has been acting off when it comes to you,” Niko answered honestly. “It’s so rare for him to act out of character at all, so we’re just keeping an eye on the situation for now. Elijah surging today is also a concern … and …” Niko cringed slightly as if he didn’t really want to say what was about to come out of his mouth. “I saw the way they both looked at you today. And how you looked at them.”
She froze again, everything in her mind rebelling against what Niko was trying to suggest.
“It’s not every day I get to dance with people so naturally talented.” Her tone was too sharp, so she worked to soften it. “That’s why I enjoyed it so much. And the atmosphere was great. The song choice was great. The choreography was brilliant. It had nothing to do with us looking at each other a certain way.”
“It’s your choice.” Niko tried to sound reassuring. “Just letting you know that Kilian, Mikki, Kalen, and I are always available. We want you to feel safe and comfortable here with us.”
“Do you?” she asked, growing sombre. “I know we’re friends and everything, but I didn’t think you’d accept me moving into Dorm A, and I really didn’t think you’d be on board with us all dealing with this bond as a group. I thought you’d want to be as far away from anything to do with it as possible.”
He seemed taken aback, his lips thinning, but then his expression smoothed out again. “I shouldn’t be surprised that you think that.” He tugged his hands through the dyed strands of his hair. “I still can’t accept the bond—not when nine other people are involved. And even if they weren’t, my parents would never accept an American girl. Which is so dumb, because they’re hardcore followers of the Gifted religion. But none of that changes the reality that there is a bond and it’s not just your problem to deal with. It’s on all of us. We need to make it work together. We just needed a little bit of time to all get to a place where we trusted you enough to bring you into the fold.”