Dynkinar says something in Driftan, and I’m excited to find I can still translate. After all, the panaceum is still mine.
“That was well done, Captain Veshtas. I thank you for your courage and strength in doing the right thing back there. I beg another favor of you. Please return my people and the panaceum to the island.”
Thoughts of kissing Kearan slip from my mind as I focus on her words. “Is that truly what you and your people want? To return to that frozen place and guard a relic that was foisted upon you so long ago?”
“It is our sacred charge.”
“Last I checked, sirens weren’t gods. Why don’t instead you come with us, and we can discuss the artifact with the sirens. We can free your people from its influence forever.”
She stares me down for some time. When she speaks again, her tone is only curious. “What kind of life would my people have?”
“My queen is good and generous. She can always use more helping hands. I will plead on your behalf for a settlement. Or you’re welcome to join us. We’re always looking to expand our ranks. Your crew did a fair amount of pirating while protecting that cursed place.”
“We have little ones. Most of those left among us aren’t fighters.”
“That’s not a problem. We have little ones at the queen’s hideout and those who perform duties other than fighting.”
Dynkinar thinks for but a moment. “And the panaceum?”
I hesitate. Do I say that I have to keep it? Won’t she think that I’m being selfish and wanting it for the immortality and infinite power?
I don’t. I wish with all my heart I didn’t have to be dependent upon it for life, but that was the cost for using its power.
I say, “I would like to discuss it with my queen and the sirens so we can decide how best to keep it safe.”
But I know Alosa, and she would trust me to keep it safe. She wouldn’t even entertain the notion of letting me part from it once she knows I have to keep it close to stay alive. To keep everyone I use it on alive.
Kearan shifts slightly behind me, just a gentle movement, but I sense it. It’s impossible to forget he is behind me. And I desperately want to speed this up.
Finally, she says, “We will go with you. It is high time we started living our own lives. We must integrate with your crew so we can begin to learn each other’s language.”
“I agree.”
“In the meantime, I trust you will keep a close eye on the panaceum?”
“I will have it on me always.”
“I thank you.”
She leaves, and the door closes once more.
Though there is a fire going in the room, I am not near enough to it to feel its heat. My teeth begin to chatter, and I wrap my arms about myself.
Kearan shrugs out of his coat and throws it over my shoulders. His hands come down to rest on either side of my neck. Then there’s a rapping at the door again.
Stars, but this is getting old.
Kearan strides past me and opens the door. “What?”
Jadine’s voice comes from the other side. “Don’t you use that barbaric tone with me, you great brute. The captain has to be freezing after everything that happened. I’ve had the girls boil water so she can properly bathe and heat her bones back up. Unless of course you mean to let her freeze and remain coated in blood while the two of you do whatever it is you had planned?”
Kearan turns to me. “It’s for you.” He strides past Jadine, exiting the room and leaving me alone.
I don’t say a word as they bring in the water, filling a wooden basin. It’s one of the few things that looks new in the room. The captain’s quarters resemble all the others I’ve been in before. There’s an elaborate bed piled with furs. A desk that looks like it hasn’t been used in quite some time. In fact, I believe there’s some sort of storage underneath where the captain’s legs are meant to go. Most of the walls are covered in firewood and kindling. For what else is really necessary for survival out here?
Distantly, I wonder if I killed the captain of this ship, or if the Drifta don’t really bother with such positions, since this vessel was only used to attack newcomers.
I certainly hope it’s up for the voyage ahead.
The water is heavenly. After time spent truly embracing the cold once again, it is a delight to feel the comfort of being warm. Warm and surrounded by water that is not dangerous or full of the unknown. I wash the grime and blood from my body. The stink of smoke and brine and everything else is whisked away.
When done, I simply soak in the water. Only then do the events of the day really sink in. We’re okay. We’re going home. And Kearan … left.
He left without so much as a good-bye. Why?
I ponder that until I’m wrinkly and the water has run out of warmth. Then I quickly dry and dress in layers and layers of clothing. Then I turn to the fireplace. I promise myself I’ll stay just until my braids dry. They’ve grown during the voyage, and I’ll need to have them rebraided when I return home.
When I resurface again, Kearan is at the helm. Only the bare minimum of necessary crew are present on the main deck, and I hear singing coming from below.
I meet Kearan’s eyes. His reveal nothing, so I leave him be and tread down to carry out my duties.
What I find below is sheer revelry.
Hands clap, voices sing, and the folks dance or laugh together. Bottles are passed around, and a Drifta I don’t recognize offers me one. I take it to be polite but then pass it along when she’s not looking. Even now, I always want to stay sharp.
When I spot Dimella, I find her in Taydyn’s lap, one arm thrown around his neck and the other swaying to the melody of the singing Taydyn is leading. When she sees me, she straightens right away.
“Captain! I haven’t been imbibing, just observing the festivities. I swear on my honor!”
“I believe you. Relax, I thought only to come down and address the crew. I thought they might need bolstering.”
“Ahh, well, the little one has already seen to that.”
“Roslyn?”
“Aye, she’s the one who organized this. Said it’s tradition after a victory among the pirate queen’s crew.”
“That it is.” Roslyn’s always eager to have a party. She loves music and dancing. I also suspect she enjoys watching the crew drink a little too much and turn into bumbling versions of themselves.
“I think it might be good for the crew to see their captain celebrating with us. Stay a while, won’t you?”
“I’m not sure I know how to do that,” I admit.
“It’s easy, Captain!” comes another voice from behind me.
Enwen shows up wearing a new hat that he must have stolen or salvaged somewhere. He holds out a hand to me. In the past, I would have stabbed any hand presumptuous enough to assume I’d want to take it. But with Enwen, I let it slide. I wave him off.
“You’ll have far much more fun without me stepping on your feet,” I say.
“Suit yourself. How about you, little lass?”
Roslyn giggles as Enwen tosses her into the air before returning her to her feet and spinning her about. I tap my foot gently to the music, which is really the only thing I’m comfortable doing in such a situation. I’m not like other people. My emotions aren’t so easily visible on my face, nor am I comfortable showing them most of the time. I don’t know how to be a part of things, because I never thought I was worthy of happiness.