My brother nods in understanding before closing the door behind him and leaving us alone.
“Zee, what happened?” I run a soothing hand down his arm, but his eyes screw shut from the contact, making the knot in my stomach grow.
He doesn’t answer.
I take a seat on the couch, needing to make myself more comfortable for this uncomfortable conversation. “Do you want to sit?” I pat the seat next to me.
He shakes his head without saying a word, all the while refusing to look at me.
“Zee, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
Finally, his hazel eyes give way, finding mine and allowing me to see the endless world of guilt within them as his brows crease with regret.
My throat is tight, and my stomach seems hollow. It hurts already.
“Don’t,” I warn. “Please don’t.”
He inhales a deep breath. “Vee—”
“No,” I desperately cut him off. “You can’t do this.”
“Vee, you know how much you mean to me.”
“Stop. Please don’t do this,” I beg.
He hesitates before averting his attention to the wall. “You and I…we just—” He shakes his head, unable to get the rest of the words out.
“Because of the pictures? We’ll be more careful. I’ll…I’ll be more careful.”
“It’s not just the pictures.” Zanders squeezes his eyes shut, and when they reopen, all emotion is gone. He stands across the room from me, staring off, unable to make eye contact. “Let’s be honest. We knew there was going to be an end to us eventually.”
“What? No, we didn’t know that! I didn’t know that!” I stand from the couch, the desperation taking over. “Not once did I think there was an end to us, Zee.”
“Come on, Stevie. You knew who I was the whole time. This is always going to be me. You had the right impression when we first met. I thought I could change, but I can’t.”
“Is this because of what people are saying online?”
He quickly shakes his head.
“Then what is it? Because just this morning you said that everything would be okay. You promised it would be okay.” I cover my mouth to silence whatever strangled noises are trying to break free. “Please, don’t do this.”
“I just…I can’t do this anymore.” The man standing in front of me is not the same man I spent the last few months falling for. I don’t know where he is, but he’s not here.
I don’t know the right words to say. I don’t know the right words that’ll stop this. “Did I do something wrong?” my voice squeaks out.
Finally, he shows a moment of emotion. Pain covers his expression as his eyes screw shut, turning his body slightly away from me. He shakes his head as he swallows, unable to speak.
“Can I fix it?”
Slowly shaking his head again, he bites down on his lip, keeping his eyes on anything but me.
“Look at me!” I desperately yell from across the room. “If you’re going to break my heart, at least watch while you do it.”
His hazels find me, allowing me to read him for the first time since he started this conversation. He’s lying. He doesn’t often lie, so he’s real shit at it when he tries. And right now, he’s lying.
“Did your agent say something?”
No response. Zanders doesn’t shake his head. He doesn’t say a word because I’m right.
“What happened? Is it because you’re with me? Are you not going to get resigned because of me?”
“It’s not because of you,” Zanders finally speaks. “But I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why?”
He releases a deep, resigned sigh. “I don’t have an answer for you, Vee—”
“Don’t call me that,” I snap. “You don’t get to call me that while you do this.”
Another sharp breath. “Stevie, I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Well, you’re doing a terrible job.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re going to continually get hurt from being with me.”
“This is because of what people are saying online, isn’t it?” I blow out a condescending, knowing laugh. “You’re doing this because of what strangers are saying.”
Again, he doesn’t respond, giving me the answer.
Every single part of my body aches. My heart hurts. My lungs are shallow. My eyes burn. The man who lifted me up with his words, who has been so adamant about reminding me that I’m enough, that drowned out everyone else’s noise, is now listening to what others have to say.