“And having a girlfriend doesn’t fit that image,” my dad states, understanding the whole situation with ease. “Does he want to change?”
My shoulders pop in a shrug. “I thought so. I was positive he would be honest about who he is once he got re-signed, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore. It seems like he’s convinced himself this is the only way to keep fans invested in his career.”
“How does that make you feel?” My dad takes a long swig of his beer.
“It makes me feel like shit.” My head drops back, eyes screwing shut, needing to hold in the tears that want to fall. “In the time Zanders and I were together, he made me feel like I was his first choice. I’ve never been anyone’s first choice, and now it feels like it was all a lie. And it’s not that I want him to choose me over his career, but there could’ve been another option, and he didn’t even try to find another way.”
My dad hesitates, eyes darting around the room before they fall back on me. “I saw the headlines. Do you think maybe he was trying to protect you? Because that makes a lot of sense to me. I don’t know the guy, but from what you’ve told me of him, he’s known to be protective of the people he cares about.”
“Maybe, but I don’t need him to protect me. I’m sick of it, actually. Ryan does it too much, and maybe Zanders is doing it too, but I can stand up for myself. Those comments about me online were disgusting, and people are trash, but they didn’t upset me nearly as much as the way people were talking about him. I wasn’t even thinking about myself in that situation.”
My dad cocks his head, pride evident on his face.
“What?” I cautiously ask.
“You love him.”
“Geez, Dad.” I bury my face in my hands, needing to hide my burning tear-filled eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
He squeezes my arm. “I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen you like this. I know your heart hurts, and I’m not trying to disregard that. I’m just not used to seeing you so sure of yourself. I like it.”
It’s something Zanders instilled in me, to be sure of myself, to stand up for myself, but is all that gone now that he is too?
“Mom doesn’t like it.”
My dad’s lips press together as he attempts to hold back. “I didn’t want to bring her up in case you didn’t want to talk about her.”
“She’s been calling me nonstop.”
“I know.”
Silence lingers between us as we share awkward glances. It’s been nice not being subjected to the backhanded comments and the disapproving looks, but at the same time, I don’t know that I want my mom out of my life forever. I want us to have a better relationship. I want us to have the relationship we had when I was younger, and she thought I was going to follow in her footsteps. It wasn’t until I became an adult that my choices began disappointing her and our relationship suffered, but I do wonder if one day she could find the ability to be supportive again.
“Is she okay?” I finally ask.
My dad takes another long swig of his beer. “She’s coming to some realizations, and they’re hitting her pretty hard. She had a tough time seeing those headlines and knowing they were about you. But I’m not going to sit here and say she doesn’t deserve to feel the way she’s feeling.”
“They only said exactly what she’s been saying for years.”
“That’s my point. I think seeing them written down in front of her face, and coming from other people, woke her up to what she’s been doing to you.”
My dad’s words don’t have much emotion behind them, and he’s a somewhat sensitive guy who cares about his family more than anything, but the way he’s talking about my mom feels detached. It feels different.
My brows furrow. “Are you guys okay?”
His eyes leave mine. “I don’t know, Vee. This isn’t something you should discuss with your kids.”
“Well, if it’s about me, I think you should tell me. I’m an adult.”
“Things have been a bit strained, but I don’t want you worrying yourself about it.”
I sit up straighter. “Well, now I am. I don’t want you guys to have problems because of me.”
His chest moves in a sigh, his brown eyes glossing over slightly. “She’s a good person, Stevie. She’s just been lost these last few years, and she hasn’t been a good mom to you. I know that, and deep down, she knows that too. It’s hard watching her hurt you when she wasn’t always like this, you know. She was a really good mom to you when you were younger.” My sweet dad’s voice breaks before covering his mouth with his palm.