“Zee.” Maddison exhales a weary breath. “You’re our family, man, so him fucking with you is the same as if it weren’t happening to me.”
My head drops down between my shoulders as I attempt to hide the glossy film covering my eyes before I nod my head, unable to speak.
Firing your agent is no small feat. Most athletes go their entire career working with the same agent, as long as said agent keeps making you money. Maddison has been extremely successful in the time he worked with Rich, so him doing this for me is not a small act of loyalty by any means.
“You know I can’t do that right now,” I remind him. “Firing Rich would essentially tank my entire career. I’d have to represent myself, and teams can’t talk to me while I’m in season.”
“I know. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, but I want you to know where I’m at. I’m over the whole game we’ve been playing into. You’re as good of a man as me, if not better, and I’m tired of people not knowing that. I’m sorry for playing my role all these years by allowing fans to think I was any better than you. Fuck, you’re a huge reason why I am who I am now.”
A sly smile creeps across my lips as I look at him, needing to break up the serious tone of this conversation.
“What?” he cautiously asks.
“You gonna try to kiss me now after that love confession or what?”
“Dick.”
“Asshole.”
I hold my glass out for him to connect his own. “That means a lot, man. Thank you.” Settling back in my seat, I exhale a deep, resigned sigh. “Regardless of Rich being a prick, I still can’t be myself. Chicago fans don’t want me. The small glimpse they saw had them trolling the internet and talking shit.”
“So go play somewhere else where the fanbase will support you.”
My head jerks back, eyes narrowing.
“You saw a small portion of shitty people online trashing you,” Maddison continues. “Overall, I think any fanbase will be stoked to have the real you, Chicago included, but if you think they truly don’t want you or that you can’t be yourself there, go play somewhere where you can.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Why is he asking? He knows the answer.
“Because your family is in Chicago. I’m not leaving you and Logan. And I’m sure as shit not leaving Ella and MJ.”
“Zee.” Maddison sits forward, his tone completely serious. “It doesn’t matter where you are or what team you’re playing for. You’re always going to be a part of our family. You don’t need my permission to go, but if for some reason you think you do, well, you have it. I just want you to be happy. We all do.”
My chest tightens. It’s something I knew, but it helps to hear it reaffirmed. Especially now, so close to the end of the season, not knowing if it’s my last one in Chicago, and not knowing if I’ll be leaving them in a few short months.
I nod my head repeatedly, unable to speak, emotions thick in my throat. When I look up at Maddison, it seems he’s having the same issue, his brown eyes glossed over as he rapidly blinks.
“Oh fuck.” I laugh to break the tension, squeezing the bridge of my nose with my thumb and pointer finger. “We’re pathetic.”
“You’re my brother.” Maddison’s voice breaks as he wipes at his face. “Where you live isn’t going to change that. My family will always be yours, but for the first time in a long time, you’ve got your own family. I can’t watch you throw that away because you’re worried about having to move away from us.”
“I can’t take Stevie away from Chicago.”
“Did she say she wouldn’t leave?”
I shake my head. “Quite the opposite, actually. She said she’d follow me anywhere, but I don’t want to take her from her brother or the dog shelter. That’d be fucked up.”
“Zee, for once in your life, stop trying to protect everyone around you. She’s trying to give you an out of this persona you’ve played into. She’s telling you she’ll move wherever you need. Let someone else have your back for once.”
“Fuck, Maddison.” The tears are flowing now. Granted, they’ve barely stopped all week, but I usually do it in private. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” My voice cracks. “I was trying to shield her from all the celebrity bullshit, but I can’t even think straight. I miss her so much.”