Magdalena and I stuffed the pockets of our dresses with jewels and golden cigarette cases, and Alexi rifled through your rooms for all the money he could find. Then, without even a chance to change our clothes, we snatched up our coats and shoes and fled out the servant’s entrance.
The night was cool and wet, and dew clung to our legs as we raced through the tall grass behind the house. Magdalena stumbled, and Alexi and I hoisted her up, urging her forward. I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew we had the whole world ahead of us and certain death behind us. There was nowhere to go but forward.
I looked back only once, just in time to see the villagers hold their torches to our home and cheer as it caught fire. The entire house was up in flame in moments, scorching the small empire you had built. Everything, our clothes, our letters, and the memory of the long days we had spent confined in the country house were consumed by the flames.
“Gone,” Alexi babbled, the fire flickering in his wide eyes. “It’s all gone.”
“We will rebuild,” I said, urging him on forward. “We will survive. It’s what we’re best at.”
We pulled each other through the muck and the mire, heading for the nearest road.
We held each other and we wept, but we never looked back again, my love. Not once.
Sometimes, when I walk through the city, I get a crawling feeling on the back of my neck that compels me to turn around. Sometimes, I think I see your face in the crowd, only for an instant, before you’re swept away by the masses again.
We hurried through the wharf, noise and bustle swirling around us as we looked for Alexi’s ship. Magdalena was resplendent in a green dress that skimmed her knees, and Alexi looked plucky and seaworthy in suspenders and a newsboy cap. Seagulls swooped and screamed overhead as we three walked arm in arm, craning our necks to read the names of the great ships.
“There it is!” Alexi cried, and we hurried forward to marvel at the ocean liner. It was taller than the apartment building in Paris, strung with cheery flags and thronged by scores of people making their way up the gangplank.
“Do you have your ticket?” Magdalena fretted, straightening Alexi’s collar.
“Right here,” he said, patting his breast pocket.
“And you promise you’ll be safe?” I asked.
Alexi rolled his eyes at me, which earned him a smile. There was my petulant Alexi, as cocksure as ever.
“I’m more dangerous than anyone on that ship,” he muttered. “But yes. I promise.”
Magdalena and I both covered his face in kisses, not worrying who saw us. We adored him, our golden prince, and even though it broke my heart to let him go, I knew we would all be reunited again soon. I wanted him to be free and happy more than I wanted him shackled at my side.
After much deliberation, handwringing, and tears, we had come to wish each other well before going our separate ways. We had spent so much of our lives together under your shadow, clinging to your apron strings, and it was well past time for us to strike out in the world on our own. Magdalena had enrolled in university in Rome to study politics, and Alexi had booked passage on a ship to America. New York was to be his new playground.
“Promise us that you’ll write,” Magdalena went on, reddening his cheeks with her lipstick. “Once a week at first, at least! No matter how busy I get with my studies I’ll always reply.”
“I promise, Maggie,” he said, scrunching his nose up at her fretting. But there was a smile lurking beneath his perturbed exterior, and I knew he would keep his promises.
I squeezed Alexi’s hands between my own, memorizing their weight and shape. In the coming days, I would often lay in the darkness of my room and trace the outline of his hand into my palm, just to keep his memory close.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world. I’m sorry I can’t come with you.”
“You need to find your own way, I know.” He gave me a mischievous smirk. “We’ll be seeing each other sooner than you think, though, when I’ve got my name in lights and you come see me performing in one of those big American theatres.”
We all started as the ship’s horn trumpeted, calling the last of the passengers on board. Alexi gave me one more firm kiss, and then he was off, hoisting himself up the gangplank along with the other passengers. I watched him go with tears in my eyes and my heart in my mouth. Moments later he leaned over the railing of the ship, snatching off his hat and waving at us. Magdalena shouted his name and waved goodbye with her handkerchief while I cried.