“And you’re starting to sound like Alastir,” he interrupted. “I’d almost think he got you all worked up again, but he stayed in Atlantia.”
“It’s not Alastir,” I said. “But he did say that, and he has a point. I know you wanted to marry me partly because it offered me a level of protection—”
“Originally, Poppy. And that was only because I’d convinced myself that was the reason,” he stated. “It wasn’t the only reason. Neither was freeing my brother or preventing a war. I wanted you, and I wanted to find a way to try to keep you.”
There was a different kind of snag in my chest now in response to his words. “You have me,” I whispered the words I’d said to him in the carriage.
“I know.” His gaze held mine. “And no one, not even my father or my mother, will change that.”
I believed him.
I really did.
“No one will harm you,” he vowed. “I will not allow it.”
“Neither will I.”
He smiled then, both dimples appearing. “I know. Come.” Rising, he reached for the towel. “If you stay in there any longer, you will start to grow fins.”
“Like a ceeren?”
A grin appeared. “Like a ceeren.”
I didn’t move though. “I lied to you.”
Casteel arched a brow. “About?”
“You asked me if the Duchess had said anything to me before I killed her, and I said no. That was a lie.”
A heartbeat passed. “What did she say?”
“I…I asked her about my brother and yours. She said they were together, but that’s all she would say about them.” I watched him return to kneeling beside me. “She told me that Tawny was going to Ascend without waiting—that it could’ve already happened. She said that the Queen knew how much I cared for Tawny and wanted her to be there, so when I returned home, I would feel comfortable.”
“Gods.” Casteel leaned over, cupping the back of my head. “You don’t know if any of that is true. Any of it, Poppy. Your brother. Mine. Tawny. She—”
“She said that the Queen will be thrilled when she learns we’ve married. That if she knew that had happened, none of what took place last night would’ve been necessary,” I told him, and he stilled. “She told me that I accomplished the one thing the Queen never could. That I took Atlantia.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Poppy.”
“I know,” I said. “Neither does what she said about the Queen being my grandmother. It makes no sense at all. It’s so far out there that, so unbelievable that I…I can’t help but wonder if some of it is true.”
Chapter 42
We rode east, toward Atlantia, under a sky that was a canvas of blues.
The men who’d traveled with Alastir were with us, even though the wolven hadn’t made the trip back to Spessa’s End. They were missing a few, more than just the wolven Dante, but our group had tripled, if not more, in size. We’d gained Jasper and several other wolven, who were returning to Atlantia. Vonetta had remained back in Spessa’s End, but she had promised that she would see me soon as she planned to return for her mother’s birthday and the upcoming birth of her little brother or sister.
The barren, flatlands on either side of the heavily wooded area gave way to fields of tall reeds with tiny, white flowers. Beckett ran beside us in his wolven form, seeming to pull from an endless reserve of energy I found enviable. He would race ahead, disappearing among the wispy plants, only to pop up a few seconds later beside us once more. He never strayed too far from our side—or rather from Casteel’s side. I figured Beckett’s closeness had to do with his Prince’s presence, and I was glad I picked up no fear from him—from any of those who traveled with us.
But the group was quiet, even Casteel, and there were so many reasons for the silence. There wasn’t a single person here who hadn’t lost someone in the battle or at New Haven.
I couldn’t think of Elijah, of Magda and her unborn child, of any of them. I couldn’t think of who would now add the names to the walls underground.
But I knew Casteel did. I knew that was why he’d fallen silent several times the night before, and I figured it had very little to do with what we’d talked about. He missed Elijah. Mourned him and all the others, and I knew he believed he’d failed them.
My thoughts were heavy, and it wore me down. The lack of sleep didn’t help. Nightmares of the night of the Craven attack found me once more, and even though Casteel had been there when I woke, gasping for air with a scream burning through my throat, the horrors of the night found me again as soon as I fell back asleep.